I am not a patient person.
That may sound really strange to many of the people who know me and know that I spent years providing day care to several children, or who have known me to sit down and really listen to whatever kind of problem they needed to vent about, with no impatience. But really, when it comes right down to the day to day living of life, I am not a person who likes to sit back and wait for things or contemplate the roses, or in any way wait for things. Did I mention I'm not so great at the waiting part?
Last month, as I sat down at this very computer to go through the job listings looking for the kind of job that I WANT to do, I saw the headlines that ALCOA was planning to close the local foundry. Now, I had been watching the job market for years and had been actively looking for a job through the summer and fall. I want a Monday to Friday, day shift job, full time or part time, either is fine, but I want to get out of the house, I want to make some money, and I'd like to learn and stretch myself at some new tasks. The place I've applied at the most is Clarkson University. I'm a bit infatuated with their campus and would greatly enjoy working there. It doesn't hurt that if I work there that my son could get free tuition there, if he were to be accepted, when he goes to college. It also wouldn't hurt that I could take classes, too. But I haven't been exclusively looking at just that one place. So now I saw that a major local employer was closing in less than a month. This meant that all the older children of those employees, all the currently not employed spouses and significant others of those employees, were all going to be joining me in the search for work. It meant that the job marketplace was about to be flooded with hundreds of additional job seekers. Anything resembling the kind of job I'd like to have was about to vanish into a puff of smoke and what was going to be left were two fields I already had extensive experience in: retail and food service. I would rather not work in those fields. Food service I actually wouldn't mind all that much in the short term, but really didn't want to look at it as the job I might retire from. Retail I've done....I've worked every position in retail, from the stock person to the store manager. I've done my time on the sales floors and behind the cash registers. A back room position during the day during the week would be lovely, but I don't want to work out on the floor. I've burned out.
So I pulled up the website for the State University at Postdam and filled out an application. I've already got a couple years plus of college so I'd be starting as a junior. I would need two years to complete a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. To earn my Master's and PhD I would have to look toward online classes because that just wasn't available locally. But as much as I loathed the idea of all of that, it still beat out flipping burgers or running a cash register. Plus, in about a half dozen years, I could work doing the job I was really born to do, making enough money that my husband could retire early if he wanted to, or cut his hours a bit. I filled out the financial aid paperwork, got everything all set to go, and then things changed.
Alcoa is not closing. Well, not this month, anyway. They are allegedly not going to close for about three more years. I don't personally trust them to hold to their end of the bargains that they've made, but either way, they aren't closing right now. So the job market is NOT going to be inundated with new people whose need would exceed my own, who would make each job infinitely more difficult to even get an interview for. Also, my husband has been given a new medication to help with his chronic pain problems. Having tried so many only to have them do nothing or next to it, it was a wonderful surprise when this new one actually worked! It's not a magic cure, it doesn't actually fix any of the physical problems that cause the pain, but it does eliminated much of the pain much of the time. So my self-imposed need to make it possible for him to have options has let up. Suddenly, the two main reasons why I was about to put myself back into college had evaporated.
I didn't change anything, immediately. I spent a couple of weeks just watching and waiting and seeing how things went. In the end, though, I called the college and had them withdraw my application. It's still on file for a year, and the school isn't going anywhere. I can go any time, I've already done the paperwork. ;) But I'm not going right now.
And there are a few jobs that have popped up at Clarkson that I have applied for and am crossing my fingers and hoping against hope to get interviews for. Thanks to a tip from Kendra at Frazer's where I managed to get an interview (only to fail the math portion of the requirements, but onward and upward) I recognized the need to explain in my cover letter why there appeared to be gaps in my employment. This had held me back previously at that location, so maybe it has done so at others. So I've amended my cover letters to explain that I was lucky enough to get to stay home with my son a lot during his childhood, but that now he's a young adult and if I don't get out of this house I'm going to go stark raving mad. Well, I don't phrase it quite like that, but I get that point across. ;) There is also a civil service test coming up that I'm sending in an application for on Friday for a Legal Secretary position. Being a secretary was actually one of the first jobs I ever wanted. It's why I went to a business school for my degree. It's not just within my skill set, it's in my nature to organize the chaos and juggle all the things that go on behind the scenes in any office o business. I'm damned good at it, too. So those are the kinds of positions I'm most heavily applying for. But I am staying the course, for now, with the job hunting and plugging away at things.
Hopefully, over the next few months, something gives and I start getting interviews. I look forward to having a steady paycheck and putting my mind to use learning something not domestic. After all, I've managed to reach Domestic Goddess level here at home....time to learn something new!
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
So, What Now?
These dark corners in my mind are sometimes just dizzying!
So here's what's preying on my mind this week.
Based on various factors in my own little world, I made a decision a few weeks ago to return to college and pursue a higher degree with the intent to be able to attain a specific type of job by the time in 50.
In the grand scheme of things, on the ladder of things I want to do (or don't want, as the case may be) the very bottom rung of said ladder is working in retail. I don't ever really want to work in a retail setting again. The next rung at the bottom of that ladder is returning to school. I did not like school. I met wonderful people there, the degree I earned has helped me, but I hated it the entire time. I so very much disliked attending college that I was taking 24+ credit hours a quarter in order to graduate a quarter early and get out of there! All that while holding down a job, making a car payment, and staying on the Dean's List. So you can imagine that leaping back into that world is not really high on my list of things to do. In fact, it falls just above stepping back behind a cash register at my local Walmart, below which we fall off the ladder into the ninth circle of Hell.
One factor in my decision to return to school was the imminent closing of ALCOA. Since then, they have postponed that for a few years, if we are to believe them, but they will not be closing in the immediate future. This means that the already tight job market is not, after all, about to be flooded with spouses and older children of displaced employees looking to help support their households.
Another factor was a medical issue within the family that has since resolved itself in a satisfactory way and is no longer an issue.
So! I can withdraw my application to SUNY Potsdam for this semester and continue to job hunt, as I have been all last summer. I can even step it up a notch and expand to some other places that I wasn't really paying much attention to, previously. If things don't work out, it isn't as if the college won't still be there next fall.
Or! I can suck it up and go back to school.
I told Terry in the student transfer department today that I would make a decision by the end of this week and let them know on Friday.
I can tell you that I am reasonably sure what my decision is. I just don't want to jump too fast and end up wishing I hadn't. So this week I am chewing this over in my head....and over, and over, and over......not that I have a tendency to over think things, you understand......no...not me! lolol!
Blargle!!!
So here's what's preying on my mind this week.
Based on various factors in my own little world, I made a decision a few weeks ago to return to college and pursue a higher degree with the intent to be able to attain a specific type of job by the time in 50.
In the grand scheme of things, on the ladder of things I want to do (or don't want, as the case may be) the very bottom rung of said ladder is working in retail. I don't ever really want to work in a retail setting again. The next rung at the bottom of that ladder is returning to school. I did not like school. I met wonderful people there, the degree I earned has helped me, but I hated it the entire time. I so very much disliked attending college that I was taking 24+ credit hours a quarter in order to graduate a quarter early and get out of there! All that while holding down a job, making a car payment, and staying on the Dean's List. So you can imagine that leaping back into that world is not really high on my list of things to do. In fact, it falls just above stepping back behind a cash register at my local Walmart, below which we fall off the ladder into the ninth circle of Hell.
One factor in my decision to return to school was the imminent closing of ALCOA. Since then, they have postponed that for a few years, if we are to believe them, but they will not be closing in the immediate future. This means that the already tight job market is not, after all, about to be flooded with spouses and older children of displaced employees looking to help support their households.
Another factor was a medical issue within the family that has since resolved itself in a satisfactory way and is no longer an issue.
So! I can withdraw my application to SUNY Potsdam for this semester and continue to job hunt, as I have been all last summer. I can even step it up a notch and expand to some other places that I wasn't really paying much attention to, previously. If things don't work out, it isn't as if the college won't still be there next fall.
Or! I can suck it up and go back to school.
I told Terry in the student transfer department today that I would make a decision by the end of this week and let them know on Friday.
I can tell you that I am reasonably sure what my decision is. I just don't want to jump too fast and end up wishing I hadn't. So this week I am chewing this over in my head....and over, and over, and over......not that I have a tendency to over think things, you understand......no...not me! lolol!
Blargle!!!
Thursday, December 10, 2015
On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me......
What a very odd holiday season it is so far this year. We had a little bit of snow in October, and then nothing. The temperatures have been in the 40's and 50's most of November and so far in December. I can't say that I mind it....it's making our heating bill absolutely a wonderful thing. It would normally be three to four times it's current size at this point in the winter.
I've been at loose ends for a while, now. When I stopped being a Day Care provider for the little guy I watched, because he got older and all that, I didn't really have anything to replace it with. Oh yes, I have hobbies but I really haven't been motivated to do anything like that. I haven't even felt much like reading, to be honest. And that's very odd, for me. I have been steadily putting out job applications and watching the local listings. What I want is a clerical type of position, Monday through Friday, banker's hours. What I'd most like, would be for that to happen at Clarkson University. It's really a very beautiful place to work, though I realize not everybody's experiences there are perfect. Nothing is perfect. I like the old buildings and the atmosphere. I want to wear nice clothes and talk to adults. It's also true that working there would provide my son with free tuition and that he would benefit very much from the courses that Clarkson offers. But I've been applying there for years, now, with only one interview. And man, I had that one in the BAG until a woman stepped in with my lifetime's worth of years of experience in that exact department. Nobody could have competed with that and truly, she got the job. And truly, she lasted less than one year. They refilled the position internally, after that. I've still been plugging away, applying to most anything that I'm qualified for. Some jobs sound more perfect than others, but always I just get the thanks but no thanks letter a month later. It does get very discouraging. I have such a unique level of experience in the things that most employers want, the people skills, the communication skills, the organization skills, the ability and willingness to learn and be challenged, and the fact that, at 42 years old, I'm looking for a job that will last me the rest of my working life. Want to fill a position and keep it filled? I'm who you hire. I've assumed, though, that I just don't look good enough on paper to get those interviews.
Well, until yesterday. At 2:30pm yesterday I looked over Clarkson's website and applied for two positions that were open that I am qualified for. While I was at it, I also applied for a customer service position at another local company who has said thanks but no thanks to me in the past but is once again hiring. Within hours, I was contacted by one of my references from the Clarkson applications who let me know they were checking my references. By 5:30 I heard from the local company who scheduled me for an interview this afternoon. Meanwhile, my financial aid package will arrive any day now from SUNY Potsdam college to enroll as a full time student this coming semester. We shall see how this all plays out. A bird in the hand and all, I will absolutely take a job before going back to college. The point of going back to school is to get a job. If I can get the job without the 4-6 years of additional schooling, then yay.
So then I've got two jobs potentially looking at me. Yikes! It's been a long time since I've been in this kind of situation. They have similar pay scales. They both would be interesting and challenging and fire up my mind. They are both good jobs in their own right. It may very well come down to first come, first served. I did take the time to send a follow up email to the department head of the Clarkson job letting him know that I am interested, that I am awesome, and that I am potentially disappearing. Hopefully, I hear back from them for an interview before too long. Meanwhile, I've got my clothes picked out for this afternoon's interview, my folder all set, and am just killing time, now.
If I'd known that heading back to school caused employers to come out of the woodwork, I'd have done this a long time ago.
I've been at loose ends for a while, now. When I stopped being a Day Care provider for the little guy I watched, because he got older and all that, I didn't really have anything to replace it with. Oh yes, I have hobbies but I really haven't been motivated to do anything like that. I haven't even felt much like reading, to be honest. And that's very odd, for me. I have been steadily putting out job applications and watching the local listings. What I want is a clerical type of position, Monday through Friday, banker's hours. What I'd most like, would be for that to happen at Clarkson University. It's really a very beautiful place to work, though I realize not everybody's experiences there are perfect. Nothing is perfect. I like the old buildings and the atmosphere. I want to wear nice clothes and talk to adults. It's also true that working there would provide my son with free tuition and that he would benefit very much from the courses that Clarkson offers. But I've been applying there for years, now, with only one interview. And man, I had that one in the BAG until a woman stepped in with my lifetime's worth of years of experience in that exact department. Nobody could have competed with that and truly, she got the job. And truly, she lasted less than one year. They refilled the position internally, after that. I've still been plugging away, applying to most anything that I'm qualified for. Some jobs sound more perfect than others, but always I just get the thanks but no thanks letter a month later. It does get very discouraging. I have such a unique level of experience in the things that most employers want, the people skills, the communication skills, the organization skills, the ability and willingness to learn and be challenged, and the fact that, at 42 years old, I'm looking for a job that will last me the rest of my working life. Want to fill a position and keep it filled? I'm who you hire. I've assumed, though, that I just don't look good enough on paper to get those interviews.
Well, until yesterday. At 2:30pm yesterday I looked over Clarkson's website and applied for two positions that were open that I am qualified for. While I was at it, I also applied for a customer service position at another local company who has said thanks but no thanks to me in the past but is once again hiring. Within hours, I was contacted by one of my references from the Clarkson applications who let me know they were checking my references. By 5:30 I heard from the local company who scheduled me for an interview this afternoon. Meanwhile, my financial aid package will arrive any day now from SUNY Potsdam college to enroll as a full time student this coming semester. We shall see how this all plays out. A bird in the hand and all, I will absolutely take a job before going back to college. The point of going back to school is to get a job. If I can get the job without the 4-6 years of additional schooling, then yay.
So then I've got two jobs potentially looking at me. Yikes! It's been a long time since I've been in this kind of situation. They have similar pay scales. They both would be interesting and challenging and fire up my mind. They are both good jobs in their own right. It may very well come down to first come, first served. I did take the time to send a follow up email to the department head of the Clarkson job letting him know that I am interested, that I am awesome, and that I am potentially disappearing. Hopefully, I hear back from them for an interview before too long. Meanwhile, I've got my clothes picked out for this afternoon's interview, my folder all set, and am just killing time, now.
If I'd known that heading back to school caused employers to come out of the woodwork, I'd have done this a long time ago.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Still....
I am still applying for jobs. I have my acceptance letter on the freezer door because YAY! And any day now I expect to receive some paperwork from financial aid and then I can call them and get to work on the final details. But today I applied for three local jobs. Two of them are at Clarkson University....I would so dearly love to get a job there. The third was for a job that I applied for another time it popped up in the local paper. They haven't changed their ad, nor their website, and it kind of worries me that the position pops up occasionally. Is it a lousy place to work and they have bad turnover? Or is it that people get really good and move upward into other positions and this entry level type job opens when that happens? It's great hours and great pay, so if I were offered it, I'd take it. I would still take classes, if I managed to land a job before things got going. I kind of want to, now, despite my trepidation about it. And I'm slightly more than halfway to a Bachelor's already. It'd be a shame to waste that. But if I can double or more the household income, I'm sure as hell going to do that. A bird in the hand, and all.
And I'll be damned! One of my references just let me know that she's already been contacted! Wouldn't that just beat all, if I finally wrapped my head around going to school and THEN landed a job I want? lolz! Well, I'd take it. I'd damned sure take it....it would be a wonderful thing to finally land a M-F, 9-5 office job. I'd ROCK a job like that and they'd be so happy they'd hired me! I am exactly what they want, if they only stop long enough to see it. I am 42 years old, my son is 15 and no longer requires me around to feed him, or be with him when he's sick, etc. I own a home and am not leaving this area. My husband and I have strong ties to this community and have already rejected transferring out of the area when he worked at GM and it closed down. I am on top of my health and don't need time off for sniffles and things like that. Oh, and I can pass any and all drug tests at any time. I'm SMART, I'm great with computers, I'm a mad queen of details and organization, and I LOVE to be good at things. I like to be the BEST at things. I'm looking for a job I can retire from in 25-30 years, not a stepping stone to bigger and better things. And the place that finally gets that, is going to be glad they did.
So, cross your fingers for me! Not really sure for which, but just in general. What will be, will be.
And I'll be damned! One of my references just let me know that she's already been contacted! Wouldn't that just beat all, if I finally wrapped my head around going to school and THEN landed a job I want? lolz! Well, I'd take it. I'd damned sure take it....it would be a wonderful thing to finally land a M-F, 9-5 office job. I'd ROCK a job like that and they'd be so happy they'd hired me! I am exactly what they want, if they only stop long enough to see it. I am 42 years old, my son is 15 and no longer requires me around to feed him, or be with him when he's sick, etc. I own a home and am not leaving this area. My husband and I have strong ties to this community and have already rejected transferring out of the area when he worked at GM and it closed down. I am on top of my health and don't need time off for sniffles and things like that. Oh, and I can pass any and all drug tests at any time. I'm SMART, I'm great with computers, I'm a mad queen of details and organization, and I LOVE to be good at things. I like to be the BEST at things. I'm looking for a job I can retire from in 25-30 years, not a stepping stone to bigger and better things. And the place that finally gets that, is going to be glad they did.
So, cross your fingers for me! Not really sure for which, but just in general. What will be, will be.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
When I Grow Up.....
When I grow up I'd like to be a therapist. I'd like to, eventually, work in a nice office with a nice desk where I keep all my paperwork organized. I'd like to have some nice comfy chairs, an overstuffed couch, a bean bag, a coffee table with some adult style coloring books on it, some Van Gogh prints on the walls. When people put a gentle hand on a friends shoulder and say, "You really should talk to somebody," I want to be that somebody that they're going to come talk to. Whether they think they might have a mental illness, or they need help dealing with something that has happened to them or been done to them, or maybe they just can't believe that they deserve a happy life and need help getting there.....I want to be that person.
http://www.humanservicesedu.org/counselor-vs-psych-vs-therapist.html
It can be tricky when terms are sometimes interchangeable and sometimes not. Even trickier when outside of the profession, those terms become even more fluid.
http://www.psychiatry.org/residents-medical-students/medical-students/psychiatry-is-it-for-me?wptouch_preview_theme=enabled
I am not aiming to be a psychiatrist. Oh, I would, if I were ten years younger but at 42 I just really do NOT have the ambition. The ability is there, and I think I would find it fascinating to take the classes (I've always really loved biology) but it's just beyond what I want to do at this point in my life. I've only got an Associate's Degree as I being this journey, so I've got many years of school ahead of me no matter what I do. And MedTerm was aggravating enough 20 years ago. lolz!
http://careersinpsychology.org/new-york-social-work-licensing-process/
I am not aiming for employment in the field of social work. Now there are some people who work their collective ASSES off. And with the right degree in the right area of social work you can absolutely be a therapist. Most often, the help is not limited to talk therapy for these fine folks but also includes working with programs, departments, courts, et cetera, as in intermediary to help their clients out in the world. New York State does NOT make it an easy thing to do, being a social worker. Just reading the description of what necessary to become a therapist through this degree program makes me want to gouge out my eyes. Oh, and it takes at least a Master's plus so many clinical hours and supervision and a lot of the same hoops. And in the end, you work twice as hard for about half the pay and the field has a burnout rate akin to the retail career I fled years ago. My hat is off to the men and women in that field....it is a calling.
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-licensed-counselor-in-new-york/
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-psychologist-in-new-york/
http://www.counselor-license.com/articles/psychologist-vs-counselor.html#context/api/listings/prefilter
Well, when you look at choosing between a doctorate in counseling and a doctorate in clinical psychology, you're looking at the same number of years and the same level of work involved to get there. There's really a lot of overlap between the two, depending where you look. I'm aiming for the psychology doctorate. I like the versatility, I like the research aspect of it, it's much more in line with what I want for myself.
There are four colleges in my area. SUNY Canton, SUNY Potsdam, Clarkson University and St. Lawrence University. Now, the two universities have tuition fees that are higher for one year than the tax assessment on my home. I'd sure LOVE to attend either of them, but I'd also love to have Marilyn Monroe's figure and Harry Potter's wand. Canton offers a BS and Potsdam offers a BA. If I were stopping at Bachelor's level, I would definitely have to aim for Canton, but I will pursue a Master's then a Doctorate after that point. So I am hoping to go to Potsdam. I've sent them my application, my previous college transcripts, and have filled out my financial aid paperwork. I was hoping to hear back from them this week. Waiting always sucks. ;)
I haven't stopped watching the local job listings. I am still getting the occasional thanks but no thanks letters from jobs I've applied for. Kind of depressing, those letters. There are worse things, but still....
As I navigate all of this, doing this research on what's what, and trying to narrow down what I'd like to see myself doing a decade from now, I am stunned at how useless my high school guidance counselor was. I have no memory of that person outside of one maybe ten minute session that all kids had to be handed applications for college or some such thing. Nobody ever told me so much as what degrees were what, what took how long, where to go for various programs, or even helped me narrow down the vaguest idea of what I might want to aim for. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, handed a form to fill out, then shoo'ed out of my seat as the next drone was called in. I had no older siblings, my parents didn't have higher education, a few distant family members went to college but I wasn't close to them, then, nor did I have the wisdom to even ask them about it at that point in time. Thankfully, I've been able to help my son a bit more than that. This experience will allow me to be much more help to him, when it's time for him to do this in a couple years.
Onward and upward.
http://www.humanservicesedu.org/counselor-vs-psych-vs-therapist.html
It can be tricky when terms are sometimes interchangeable and sometimes not. Even trickier when outside of the profession, those terms become even more fluid.
http://www.psychiatry.org/residents-medical-students/medical-students/psychiatry-is-it-for-me?wptouch_preview_theme=enabled
I am not aiming to be a psychiatrist. Oh, I would, if I were ten years younger but at 42 I just really do NOT have the ambition. The ability is there, and I think I would find it fascinating to take the classes (I've always really loved biology) but it's just beyond what I want to do at this point in my life. I've only got an Associate's Degree as I being this journey, so I've got many years of school ahead of me no matter what I do. And MedTerm was aggravating enough 20 years ago. lolz!
http://careersinpsychology.org/new-york-social-work-licensing-process/
I am not aiming for employment in the field of social work. Now there are some people who work their collective ASSES off. And with the right degree in the right area of social work you can absolutely be a therapist. Most often, the help is not limited to talk therapy for these fine folks but also includes working with programs, departments, courts, et cetera, as in intermediary to help their clients out in the world. New York State does NOT make it an easy thing to do, being a social worker. Just reading the description of what necessary to become a therapist through this degree program makes me want to gouge out my eyes. Oh, and it takes at least a Master's plus so many clinical hours and supervision and a lot of the same hoops. And in the end, you work twice as hard for about half the pay and the field has a burnout rate akin to the retail career I fled years ago. My hat is off to the men and women in that field....it is a calling.
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-licensed-counselor-in-new-york/
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-psychologist-in-new-york/
http://www.counselor-license.com/articles/psychologist-vs-counselor.html#context/api/listings/prefilter
Well, when you look at choosing between a doctorate in counseling and a doctorate in clinical psychology, you're looking at the same number of years and the same level of work involved to get there. There's really a lot of overlap between the two, depending where you look. I'm aiming for the psychology doctorate. I like the versatility, I like the research aspect of it, it's much more in line with what I want for myself.
There are four colleges in my area. SUNY Canton, SUNY Potsdam, Clarkson University and St. Lawrence University. Now, the two universities have tuition fees that are higher for one year than the tax assessment on my home. I'd sure LOVE to attend either of them, but I'd also love to have Marilyn Monroe's figure and Harry Potter's wand. Canton offers a BS and Potsdam offers a BA. If I were stopping at Bachelor's level, I would definitely have to aim for Canton, but I will pursue a Master's then a Doctorate after that point. So I am hoping to go to Potsdam. I've sent them my application, my previous college transcripts, and have filled out my financial aid paperwork. I was hoping to hear back from them this week. Waiting always sucks. ;)
I haven't stopped watching the local job listings. I am still getting the occasional thanks but no thanks letters from jobs I've applied for. Kind of depressing, those letters. There are worse things, but still....
As I navigate all of this, doing this research on what's what, and trying to narrow down what I'd like to see myself doing a decade from now, I am stunned at how useless my high school guidance counselor was. I have no memory of that person outside of one maybe ten minute session that all kids had to be handed applications for college or some such thing. Nobody ever told me so much as what degrees were what, what took how long, where to go for various programs, or even helped me narrow down the vaguest idea of what I might want to aim for. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, handed a form to fill out, then shoo'ed out of my seat as the next drone was called in. I had no older siblings, my parents didn't have higher education, a few distant family members went to college but I wasn't close to them, then, nor did I have the wisdom to even ask them about it at that point in time. Thankfully, I've been able to help my son a bit more than that. This experience will allow me to be much more help to him, when it's time for him to do this in a couple years.
Onward and upward.
Monday, November 16, 2015
99 Luftballoons
Ninety-nine dreams I have had and every one a red balloon.
That's just what's playing right now, not anything of any great meaning. :) I suppose I could relate it to my life somehow, but mostly I just enjoy listening to older music while I clean or work around the house.
Today I am painting the bathroom. I hate painting. I really do hate paining. But it's one of those things that needs to be done every so often or your house just looks like shit. Over the end of summer I painted the dining room and the living room, minus the ceilings. I hate ceilings even more, so I keep putting them off. Today, I'm doing the bathroom. Yesterday, I cleaning all the walls and ceiling and prepped. So far I've got one coat on the ceiling and starting a primer coat on a section that was painted darker than the rest. I paint for a bit then stop because my arms get so tired and start to burn. I really have no upper body strength....all my power is in my legs. I'll get at least the entire room done with one coat, probably two on the ceiling, which should hopefully be enough to finish that. Luckily for me I have a teeeeeny tiny little bathroom!
Once it's all done I'll be pulling Christmas out of the attic and exploding it all over! Tree included. I bought my lights at Ollie's a few weeks ago. Twenty boxes of 100 multicolored twinkle lights. Oh yes, I like Christmas lights! Once that's all done, I've got presents to wrap for hubby's Brother and SIL who are coming this weekend to do our Holiday dinner gathering. We haven't actually seen them in over a year. It doesn't go that long, usually, but it's just been one of those years. It'll be really nice to see them.
Friday I was finally able to send in my SUNY college application for SUNY Potsdam. Wonder how long it takes to hear back from them? I'll need to get to a printer so I can print up some other forms I think I'll need to fill out, and call financial aid and get on top of that. Looks like I totally qualify. No surprise there! Chatted with the kiddo today about the various costs of tuition, tuition plus room/board, and so on. Hopefully, by the time he's headed to college in a couple years, there will be something better in place than the current financing system. In the meantime, we can both learn from me doing it.
GOD I hate painting.
If I weren't on a handful of ibuprofen I'd totally break open a bottle of wine to make it a bit less awful.
Oh, well. Onward and upward!
That's just what's playing right now, not anything of any great meaning. :) I suppose I could relate it to my life somehow, but mostly I just enjoy listening to older music while I clean or work around the house.
Today I am painting the bathroom. I hate painting. I really do hate paining. But it's one of those things that needs to be done every so often or your house just looks like shit. Over the end of summer I painted the dining room and the living room, minus the ceilings. I hate ceilings even more, so I keep putting them off. Today, I'm doing the bathroom. Yesterday, I cleaning all the walls and ceiling and prepped. So far I've got one coat on the ceiling and starting a primer coat on a section that was painted darker than the rest. I paint for a bit then stop because my arms get so tired and start to burn. I really have no upper body strength....all my power is in my legs. I'll get at least the entire room done with one coat, probably two on the ceiling, which should hopefully be enough to finish that. Luckily for me I have a teeeeeny tiny little bathroom!
Once it's all done I'll be pulling Christmas out of the attic and exploding it all over! Tree included. I bought my lights at Ollie's a few weeks ago. Twenty boxes of 100 multicolored twinkle lights. Oh yes, I like Christmas lights! Once that's all done, I've got presents to wrap for hubby's Brother and SIL who are coming this weekend to do our Holiday dinner gathering. We haven't actually seen them in over a year. It doesn't go that long, usually, but it's just been one of those years. It'll be really nice to see them.
Friday I was finally able to send in my SUNY college application for SUNY Potsdam. Wonder how long it takes to hear back from them? I'll need to get to a printer so I can print up some other forms I think I'll need to fill out, and call financial aid and get on top of that. Looks like I totally qualify. No surprise there! Chatted with the kiddo today about the various costs of tuition, tuition plus room/board, and so on. Hopefully, by the time he's headed to college in a couple years, there will be something better in place than the current financing system. In the meantime, we can both learn from me doing it.
GOD I hate painting.
If I weren't on a handful of ibuprofen I'd totally break open a bottle of wine to make it a bit less awful.
Oh, well. Onward and upward!
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
The World of Limited Choices
I graduated high school in 1991. Due to circumstances beyond my control, and a lack of useful guidance from my high school, I was unable to attend college when I graduated. A year later I tried to go to a little local college and barely even passed. I was unfocused and at odds with myself, then, and had no real direction. I got a full time job and worked. Eventually, my mother started stuffing literature under my face from a local business college and a comparable one downstate called Bryant and Stratton Business Institute. It wasn't what I wanted, but I did it anyway. I met lifelong friends and had my share of fun. I was also miserable and unhappy with my classes, unimpressed with most of my teachers, and practically teaching one of the courses myself. I finished an 18 month A.O.S. program in 15 months while holding down a job and making Dean's List. Anything to get the F*** out of there! And once I got home again, it turns out that my degree was useless. I was worth less than the paper it was printed on. Medical Office Management.....yeah, the local doctors weren't even looking for a filing clerk and they didn't offer benefits or retirement or anything at all other than a dollar or two over the minimum wage and a decent shift. So I went back into retail and used the management aspect to have a 12 year career in retail management, culminating in running a RadioShack. Then I had a baby, and my marriage failed and I was a single mom, and life went right to shit. Working six day weeks, eight to twelve hours a day, an hours drive each way, really wasn't working for me. Right about then is when I met the man who is now my husband.
Over the years, I stopped working in retail and took on jobs with bankers hours. Eventually I worked at home, and eventually I was just a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). At different times I've picked up part time jobs for extra cash, and provided day care for the children of my friends over the years. But all the children are growing up, now, and don't need a nanny anymore. The thought of going back into retail makes me weep. Over the last four years I have been steadily applying for positions at three of the four local colleges, focusing on one in particular with the idea that my son would not have to pay tuition if I worked there but also because I really like it there. It's a beautiful place full of old buildings and tall trees and people who seem genuinely happy to be there. In all that time, I've had one interview. I have a folder of depressing rejection letters. It's just not happening. I have the skills they need and want, and I have the ability to communicate that to them, but I'm not getting through.
Over the last three to four months, since the last of the children I watched has gone on to other places, I have been looking at all the job sites. I've been watching the regular listings, watching local papers where smaller business like to advertise so they don't get bombarded with applicants, and asking around. Basically, there are a lot of opportunities in retail, in food service, and in direct people care such as CNA jobs and the ARC centers. These all pay very low level wages for what is actually not easy work, despite the common stereotypes. The rest of the listings are for professional positions requiring specific degrees in specific fields, the majority of which are medical. None of which are Associate degrees, most of which aren't even Bachelor degrees. Hell, they aren't even Masters degrees. Most of them are PhDs. If you want a nice, quiet, peaceful place to live and raise a family, and you have a major degree that took you until you were nearly 30 to earn, this is a place to look at!!!
In 2008, the local General Motors Foundry, at which my husband worked, closed its doors. Thanks to my husband's foresight, it came as no real surprise to us and he collected two whole weeks of unemployment before starting a new career as a 911 Dispatcher for our county. A steady job, a good job, but a blow to him as he was used to making quite a bit more money....it was about a 65% pay cut. Imagine cutting your household income by 65% gross. Just think about that for a minute. It was brutal. It took years to get used to. Only now are we on an even keel;, only now, all these years later, are we able to pay all our bills when they're due (more or less), buy gas, get groceries, and still be able to get other things that we WANT.
Yesterday, the other local production company, the one that this town became what it is because of, ALCOA, announced that it's not only NOT updating one of the plants, but closing it and the other one, to boot. There will be 487 people out of work by the end of the first quarter of 2016. And from what I'm hearing they are not offering buy outs or transfers or early retirements. My heart goes out to my friends and neighbors who are ALL affected by this, either directly or indirectly. This is a major blow to our community.
What this means to me, personally, is that the local economy is going to tank for a few years, at least. It means that there will be nearly 500 people, over the course of the next year, also looking for "good" jobs, then eventually looking for ANY jobs. Many of them will either move out of the area entirely, or live on a combination of the shit jobs available and assistance, through no fault of their own, but because that's what they'll be left with. This means that my chances of getting a "good" job just evaporated, in part because my need is much, much lesser than that of many of the people who are about to be looking for the same positions. My family doesn't NEED to me work; their families will need them to work. And that's that.
I'm so tired of the rejection letters. And I'm tired of never even getting that far with half the places I've applied at. I'm tired of hanging out with my dogs and cats, to the point that I talk to them and not only do they seem to understand me, but I'm starting to understand them, too. And I'm tired of not being able to get out and do much of anything, because the little pittance I was earning has dried up and I can't replace it, not even with part time work. It's time to suck it up and do that thing that I've always swore I wasn't going to do, then thought, well, maybe I'll do it when I retire, then kept it in the back of my head that it's something I'm ALREADY DOING and just don't have the paperwork to prove I'm capable and should be paid for it. It's time to go back to school.
{insert dramatic music in minor key}
My best friend said how exciting it is. I'm trying to look at it from her point of view, because her optimism is a good thing. Mostly I feel nauseous, with a good dollop of trepidation thrown in. When I told my husband he was just blown away and took a full day to formulate the serious questions about finances, timing, and just WHY. All of which I explained and addressed, only to leave him still freaked out, but with an understanding of it. Greeaaaaat. My father nodded and listened. My mother told me it was about time, offered to help if and when I needed help, which I'm sure I will. My son, at 15 in 10th grade, was nonplussed and said he's really unaffected by it. I explained he'd have to do his own college the hard way like everybody else, and he laughed and said, okay. My online group is full of well wishes and assurances that I've got this, which they're right....I totally do. And I love having the cheering section. I'm going to really need it over the next decade!! lol!!!
The thing is, if I'm going to subject myself to school at 42 years old, then I'm not going it in half measures. I'm not going to go get another degree in a field I have no interest in to get a job I hate doing for the rest of my working years. Oh, HELL no. I'm going to be a therapist. I'm going to get a Bachelor's degree, then I'm going to follow that bad boy up with a Master's degree, and then I'm going to take a few more years and get a PhD because that's how we roll. Because if I'm doing this thing, then I'm doing what I want and I'm taking it all the freaking way, this time.
So today I called my high school guidance office and tomorrow they will send out my transcripts. I called BSBI and because I graduated SO long ago, I had to print off a specific for to send them to request transcripts, which I did today, also. While I wait for these bits of paper to arrive at their destination, I will fill out the online application for transfer students. Despite it being literally 20 years, I am actually considered a transfer student. I'm hopeful that that means something from my previous college will, indeed, count toward this go round and reduce my overall time. I also plan to knock off courses during the summers, when possible. Hubby's union, CSEA, has a handful of various grants available, and there are all sorts of programs out there. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything covered and not have to take on more student loan debt....especially since I only just paid off the last ones. (Seriously, in May of 2015....)
It's possible that, due to various circumstances, I may have to wait a semester to start on campus classes, and may have to start with some online ones. There are things that I may need to get taken care of before I'm completely free to be a full time student. And if that's the case, so be it. But I'm doing this thing. The decision is made. Oh. My. GODS.
Where's my wine.....?
Over the years, I stopped working in retail and took on jobs with bankers hours. Eventually I worked at home, and eventually I was just a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). At different times I've picked up part time jobs for extra cash, and provided day care for the children of my friends over the years. But all the children are growing up, now, and don't need a nanny anymore. The thought of going back into retail makes me weep. Over the last four years I have been steadily applying for positions at three of the four local colleges, focusing on one in particular with the idea that my son would not have to pay tuition if I worked there but also because I really like it there. It's a beautiful place full of old buildings and tall trees and people who seem genuinely happy to be there. In all that time, I've had one interview. I have a folder of depressing rejection letters. It's just not happening. I have the skills they need and want, and I have the ability to communicate that to them, but I'm not getting through.
Over the last three to four months, since the last of the children I watched has gone on to other places, I have been looking at all the job sites. I've been watching the regular listings, watching local papers where smaller business like to advertise so they don't get bombarded with applicants, and asking around. Basically, there are a lot of opportunities in retail, in food service, and in direct people care such as CNA jobs and the ARC centers. These all pay very low level wages for what is actually not easy work, despite the common stereotypes. The rest of the listings are for professional positions requiring specific degrees in specific fields, the majority of which are medical. None of which are Associate degrees, most of which aren't even Bachelor degrees. Hell, they aren't even Masters degrees. Most of them are PhDs. If you want a nice, quiet, peaceful place to live and raise a family, and you have a major degree that took you until you were nearly 30 to earn, this is a place to look at!!!
In 2008, the local General Motors Foundry, at which my husband worked, closed its doors. Thanks to my husband's foresight, it came as no real surprise to us and he collected two whole weeks of unemployment before starting a new career as a 911 Dispatcher for our county. A steady job, a good job, but a blow to him as he was used to making quite a bit more money....it was about a 65% pay cut. Imagine cutting your household income by 65% gross. Just think about that for a minute. It was brutal. It took years to get used to. Only now are we on an even keel;, only now, all these years later, are we able to pay all our bills when they're due (more or less), buy gas, get groceries, and still be able to get other things that we WANT.
Yesterday, the other local production company, the one that this town became what it is because of, ALCOA, announced that it's not only NOT updating one of the plants, but closing it and the other one, to boot. There will be 487 people out of work by the end of the first quarter of 2016. And from what I'm hearing they are not offering buy outs or transfers or early retirements. My heart goes out to my friends and neighbors who are ALL affected by this, either directly or indirectly. This is a major blow to our community.
What this means to me, personally, is that the local economy is going to tank for a few years, at least. It means that there will be nearly 500 people, over the course of the next year, also looking for "good" jobs, then eventually looking for ANY jobs. Many of them will either move out of the area entirely, or live on a combination of the shit jobs available and assistance, through no fault of their own, but because that's what they'll be left with. This means that my chances of getting a "good" job just evaporated, in part because my need is much, much lesser than that of many of the people who are about to be looking for the same positions. My family doesn't NEED to me work; their families will need them to work. And that's that.
I'm so tired of the rejection letters. And I'm tired of never even getting that far with half the places I've applied at. I'm tired of hanging out with my dogs and cats, to the point that I talk to them and not only do they seem to understand me, but I'm starting to understand them, too. And I'm tired of not being able to get out and do much of anything, because the little pittance I was earning has dried up and I can't replace it, not even with part time work. It's time to suck it up and do that thing that I've always swore I wasn't going to do, then thought, well, maybe I'll do it when I retire, then kept it in the back of my head that it's something I'm ALREADY DOING and just don't have the paperwork to prove I'm capable and should be paid for it. It's time to go back to school.
{insert dramatic music in minor key}
My best friend said how exciting it is. I'm trying to look at it from her point of view, because her optimism is a good thing. Mostly I feel nauseous, with a good dollop of trepidation thrown in. When I told my husband he was just blown away and took a full day to formulate the serious questions about finances, timing, and just WHY. All of which I explained and addressed, only to leave him still freaked out, but with an understanding of it. Greeaaaaat. My father nodded and listened. My mother told me it was about time, offered to help if and when I needed help, which I'm sure I will. My son, at 15 in 10th grade, was nonplussed and said he's really unaffected by it. I explained he'd have to do his own college the hard way like everybody else, and he laughed and said, okay. My online group is full of well wishes and assurances that I've got this, which they're right....I totally do. And I love having the cheering section. I'm going to really need it over the next decade!! lol!!!
The thing is, if I'm going to subject myself to school at 42 years old, then I'm not going it in half measures. I'm not going to go get another degree in a field I have no interest in to get a job I hate doing for the rest of my working years. Oh, HELL no. I'm going to be a therapist. I'm going to get a Bachelor's degree, then I'm going to follow that bad boy up with a Master's degree, and then I'm going to take a few more years and get a PhD because that's how we roll. Because if I'm doing this thing, then I'm doing what I want and I'm taking it all the freaking way, this time.
So today I called my high school guidance office and tomorrow they will send out my transcripts. I called BSBI and because I graduated SO long ago, I had to print off a specific for to send them to request transcripts, which I did today, also. While I wait for these bits of paper to arrive at their destination, I will fill out the online application for transfer students. Despite it being literally 20 years, I am actually considered a transfer student. I'm hopeful that that means something from my previous college will, indeed, count toward this go round and reduce my overall time. I also plan to knock off courses during the summers, when possible. Hubby's union, CSEA, has a handful of various grants available, and there are all sorts of programs out there. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything covered and not have to take on more student loan debt....especially since I only just paid off the last ones. (Seriously, in May of 2015....)
It's possible that, due to various circumstances, I may have to wait a semester to start on campus classes, and may have to start with some online ones. There are things that I may need to get taken care of before I'm completely free to be a full time student. And if that's the case, so be it. But I'm doing this thing. The decision is made. Oh. My. GODS.
Where's my wine.....?
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