Magical Mythical Medical Miracles

I am diabetic.  I am a Type 2 diabetic who is on insulin and looking forward to getting an insulin pump next month.  I lead a normal life other than every single thing that goes into my mouth gets documented and if I slack off then I end up having problems.  As things go, there are worse and I'm very fortunate that I have a great medical team and good research abilities.  Good insurance rocks, too.

Over the years I've gone through various diabetes oral medications.  I've used glipizide, metformin, Januvia, Amyril.....in various combinations and with varying degrees of effectiveness.  I've managed to drive my A1c down to an excellent low of 5.4 and had it spike up over 11 over the course of the years I've been dealing with it.  A bit more than a year ago as my A1c hovered somewhat under 9 my doctor and I decided it was time for insulin.  I've found that while diet and exercise are the most important ways I can help myself, that insulin works a great deal better than pills.

I am a research junkie.  When I was diagnosed about nine years ago, now, with diabetes, having had gestational diabetes in 2000, I went very manic on the research.  I still keep up with current medical studies and pharmaceutical findings and so on.  I've tried various supplements over the years with varying success to help with blood glucose control.  I've found that cinnamon does seem to have a stabilizing effect, though minimal, that is noticeable especially when combined with Chromium as it is so often found now.  I do find that taking a teaspoon of honey at night before bed helps lower morning numbers that are often effected by overnight lows, or the Somogyi Effect.  I saw no effect with Alpha Lipoic Acid, but then it's said to help with neuropathy which I don't experience so who knows.  Garlic didn't do a thing.  Green Coffee Bean supplements were useless all the way around.  Co Q-10 is just too expensive and when I tried it I found no changes.  Flax seed was more annoying than anything trying to find ways to work it into my diet without gagging.  I do take Fish Oil and Vitamin D for their own sake and see no effects on my glucose numbers or control at all.  The multivitamin I take has excellent folic acid in it, calcium, vit C, etc, and I can't tell if I'm taking it or not, other than if I forgot it there it sits in my pill caddy.  I took a B complex once; I took it at half the recommended dosage and after about six weeks, overnight developed neuropathy in my toes which terrified me.  As it had come on so quickly and my A1c was good I did research on the B vitamins and discovered that you can overdose of certain B vitamins and neuropathy is how it presents itself.  I stopped the supplement immediately and the effect wore off entirely over the following week.  I've tried various diabetes supplement packages from various health food stores and retail locations.

Over the years I've tried many other things -- if it's out there I've read about it and likely tried it.  I read up on things first, make sure they don't have obvious side effects, and after the B complex thing I dig a fair amount.  I keep track of how long I'm taking something and document my glucose numbers and insulin amounts.  So far....beyond exercise and diet.....there isn't any magic bullet that helps blood glucose.  The best medicine that you can add to what your doctor gives you is to put the carbs down and get off your ass.  Advice I don't take very well, but I'm trying.  Believe me, I know how easy it is to say and how hard it is to do.

Obviously taking care of your overall health will help keep your body in a healthier state which will help with any condition you may be dealing with, including diabetes.  So certain supplements that help with deficiencies you may experience in your life, under the supervision of your doctor, aren't likely to hurt you.  Talking to your pharmacist is also an excellent resource.  People seriously overlook the importance of their pharmacist in their lives when this is often the person who is on the front lines of what you're putting into your body and has the most direct knowledge of it all.  Learn to love your pharmacist, folks.  

There is a LOT of misinformation out there.  From the Farmer's Almanac to that nurse's aide friend of yours, from Aunt Suzie to that holistic Facebook page you liked, everybody has heard about this or that, this thing that is supposed to help.  From the cabbage soup diet to drinking water with various veggies soaking in them, there's always something that somebody wants to share to be helpful, because surely this will work.  Maybe because it's "natural" or maybe because the Internet told us it was true, or their best friend did this and it worked....everybody just wants to help.  Of course, the best way to really help would be to offer to go for a walk with you, but they've read about this one supplement that really helped this lady on Facebook....it CURED her diabetes.   "I'm Super Cereal!"  (Forgive me....South Park just leaks in every now and then.)

Oh, how I wish it were true!  And I haven't given up....I'm still willing to try various foods, beverages, supplements, as they come along and see if maybe something helps.  You know, some magic thing I can ingest that will make it possible for me to lay on the couch watching television eating donuts and drinking Mountain Dew all day while staying thin, keeping my cholesterol, glucose, and weight all in check, and not slowly kill me.  If I find it, you'll know.....mainly because I'll be selling that shit and buying a mountain lake for my very own.....

So my point?  Oh....yeah, there kind of is one in here.  Earlier today on a Facebook page that I have previously enjoyed the hell out of, one of these CURES was posted.  When I objected to it, citing that it was bull and that somebody foolish might take it seriously and do something dangerous, the reply I got was that I was bitching at them and being pathetic for objecting to something I saw on Facebook, that there was a disclaimer right in the picture so people should know better.  (Because people are always hesitating and over-thinking things and never just jumping the gun with things they read online....)   I replied and then unliked the page and changed it so I won't see it in my feed.  I've only got a few friends who also liked it, so I really won't see it anymore.  It's a shame that you can't open a dialogue these days with people unless you blow sunshine up their ass, but that's how it goes.  I felt like I should counter balance the kind of crap they were putting out there with the general statement that there is no cure for diabetes.
THERE IS NO CURE FOR DIABETES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
None.  Nada. Zip.  Zilch.  They are working on it, and I donate what I can when I can toward that end, but at this point in time there is nothing that medical science has for the average consumer to make the beta cells on a pancreas come back to life, to make any you may have left function more efficiently, or anything else.  Be it Type 1, Type 2, Gestational, LADA, Metabolic Syndrome.....at this point in time there is no pill that you can take, you beverage you can make, no veggie you can eat, nothing that will fix it.  The only fix, and only for Type 2's, is to eat better and exercise and try to remember that we're lucky that's even an option, because it isn't for all diabetics.

My Local Online Newspaper

NorthCountryNow.com .....I'm not blind....I realize that all media is corrupt.  All modern media heels to the sources of their own funding.  If a media source needs to increase viewers or readers to increase profits then that is what they do, by whatever means necessary.  I believe that this is true from CNN all the way down to this small local media outlet.  It's a shame, though.  You'd like to think that maybe on a smaller, more local level, you might not see the greed, you might see something a bit more like what we used to call news.

Not that North Country Now ever posted anything remotely similar to news or current events, heck, Topix has more accurate current event information, but I've deleted them from my list of sites that I visit.  They've held the kind of entertainment value that used to be found with papers like The Weekly World News, and the Nat'l Enquirer.  Most recently, though, they've gone so far as to foster and promote a letter writing war among their readers.  They started by posting one woman's letter in the main news feed, which they sometimes do.  They made sure to pick the most inflammatory letter they could, which was of a woman condemning Potsdam's Gay Pride parade.  (A small town's first parade of this nature, and a first in our county, and it was lovely!)   In the following weeks, there have been flurries of letters written back and forth among readers and posted to their pages and the managers of the site keep the drama going by picking and posting alternating view points to the main news feed.  So essentially what North Country Now is telling us is that the North Country is so weak that ignorant debates over the sinful nature of humanity as deemed by "Good Christians" versus equal rights and our personal freedom not to have to listen to the condemnations of sheep is not only newsworthy, but what we deserve to read.  They're trying to increase site hits by increasing public drama rather than by seeking out and reporting news.  They weren't exactly a great news source, but they did report a lot of the smaller and more personal stories and I liked that.  Now they've just sunk to a new level, though.

Whatever mine or anybody else's opinions are about equal rights and such things, an alleged news source should at least not promote drama and bickering amongst it's readers in order to promote readership.  That isn't reporting the news....that's trying to make something into news, that's just ignorant drama.

I Miss You

Dear Aunt Glen,
Well, it's been over a year now since you died and about a year since I went and cleaned out your home, where you spent your last years, where you watched your husband precede you into the next mystery, where I got to know you as two adult women.
A dear friend of mine is losing somebody right now in a way very similar to how we lost you.  You had stage 4 lung cancer and it created other problems that killed you.  My friends father in law is suffering of end stage COPD and they're waiting for that final call.  Nobodies suffering is the same so I can't tell her that I know how she feels, but I think I know how much it hurts.
I remember that we had a few scares in that last year, scares where they told us it was near the end and you kept pulling back out of it by sheer force of will.  Man, you were a tough woman!  I think you wanted that last holiday season with your grandchildren and to see your sisters one more time before letting go, because that's exactly what you did.  I don't know if you know this, but I stayed with you at the end.  When they called I borrowed a car and flew down the highways to you.  Everybody had kept a vigil at your bedside, though I think you were already far beyond us at that point.  You son, your oldest child, and I stayed with you that last night.  We slept a little, but not really, and we took turns holding your hand and talking to you.  I whispered in your ear, I told you it was okay to let go, now.  I remembered a conversation just you and I had had where I told you when it was over I'd know that you were running across a summer field of flowers to your beloved, like Laura Ingalls, and we kind of laughed in that way you do when something hurts but you don't want to cry, so you laugh a little because it hits close to home.  You couldn't even walk at the end, couldn't even use facilities without help, and I told you that when you shed this life that's how I'd see you.
I want you to know that I do.  Today I'm thinking of you and in my thoughts you and Uncle Billy are in a summer place where there is only sunshine and joy, where there is no pain, no fear, no sadness.
Somebody else lives in that house now, and your children have gone their own ways as they always were going to.  No great lessons were learned, no new philosophy has been discovered, no great wisdom gained.  I miss you.  We all miss you.  Life goes one and we're all doing okay.  Thank you for sticking around a bit and taking care of a few things for my Mom.  I think it must be so tiring, at the end of a lifetime, to think of all the things you still wanted to do, to still have to comfort those around you while you're facing the next mystery looming so closely.  You did it very well, with grace, with love, and I think you got to have some fun there, a few times.  I'm glad, but oh, it hurts that you're not here.
Pick a daisy in that field for me, today, and smile for me.
I miss you.
Amy

To Be or Not To Be....That Is A Stupid Question

Don't you just love the way that Shakespeare's characters are commonly thought to be so deep and his works so very meaningful?  I wonder if someday people will look at Stephen King the same way....

What musicians will be to future generations what Beethoven, Bach, etc., are to us today?  Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen?

What medical miracles that we marvel at today will be the bonesaws and leeches of tomorrow?  Hip replacements?  Chemotherapy?

We put men on the Moon with less technology than many of us carry in our pockets today.  My son talks to his electronics and they do what he tells them to do.  My phone has been programmed with a sense of humor.  If this is the technology available to the masses, what levels of technological genius are at the fingertips of the supersecretsquirrel people?  If they revealed  the stealth technology in the 70's, when household technology was blown away with 8-tracks and microwaves, what are they hiding today?

I think it's pretty amazing to see the advances in technology and thinking just in my own lifetime, just in 40 years.  I think about the things that my mother had in her world and compare them to my son's world and it's like a science fiction novel.  I wonder.....what will our world be like when my grandchildren are grown.

To A Troubled Teen...

Life is a bitch.  These are not the best years of your life.  Life is never fair.

You're not wrong when you think these things.  You're not crazy, you're not entirely wrong, and you're not alone.  Just a few short years ago your world was all about your friends at school, your toys, maybe video games.  Mom got you up in the morning and there was breakfast and off to school you went.  The teachers weren't always friendly, but the work wasn't that hard so you did what you needed to do to get by.  You had recess, you played with friends, you went home.  You played some more, maybe had to pick up a little bit, maybe played outdoors with your friends.  When you forgot something or did something wrong somebody explained what and why and the worst that happened was you got yelled at, maybe lost a toy for a day or two.

Now you've got to do so many things yourself.  No matter how tired you are you've got to get yourself up in the morning, deal with your own breakfast, clothes, and time it all to get to school.  When you get to school you've got a dozen different teachers all telling you what to do.  Half of what they tell you is so easy that it's boring, half of it is like trying to read ancient Greek.  You know you're never going to need this crap in life so you don't worry about it, but that just ends up with teachers preaching at you, nagging at you, picking at you, until you finally open your mouth.  You really don't mean to say just the wrong thing, but somehow you always seem to, and then you're in more trouble.  Nobody is gentle, nobody is considerate, nobody looks and asks you how you're feeling or why you're so angry, you're just punished and that's that.  They give you some speech about loving and caring and bunny loving tree hugger why can't we all just get along kind of crap and send you back to class where it starts all over again.  You try, but nothing changes so why should you?

Half a day, and an eternity later, you're finally at home.  Home, where you should feel comforted, understood, loved.  But it's more of the same old same old.  Wash clothes, do dishes, walk dogs, clean rooms, toe the line, talk this way, do this now, do that later, do it all before this deadline.  You aren't trying to be a jerk, but you end up saying something.  What you said and what they hear isn't the same thing at all.  You're tired from the never ending pain in the ass that it all is, but they don't care.  So you tune it out, you lose track of time, the next thing you know your deadline is past, you've done nothing, and it's time to deal with it.  There's yelling, there's crying, there's guilt, there's anger, and you don't know what to do with all of it so you open your mouth again.  And it's no use.  You say one thing, they hear something else, and everybody is hurt and angry.

At least, that's how it all started.  It's gone on for so long now that everybody just expects you to say the wrong thing.  At this point, no matter what you say, they keep hearing the same thing.  You don't know how to change that and you're sick of trying.  If they can't hear what you're really saying then forget them.  And it hurts.  And why should you bother, anyway?  If you try to change they just keep pigeonholing you right back into that old role of the screw up.  They say, "Well, that's good....now keep it up and don't mess it up again."  There's always a but, there's always that little add on at the end of the praise to remind you, to needle you, to label you.  Because nothing you ever do is good enough.  So why bother?  You've decided that it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, only there doesn't seem to be any forgiveness left.  Best years of your life, huh?  You hate their attitude, you hate their condescending ways, you just hate them.  All.  Jerks.  Even though somewhere underneath it all, it hurts.

Meanwhile, looming out there in the future is an entire life that they keep telling you that you're messing up.  A life you can't even imagine.  Everything right now it so enormous that you can't even focus on this "rest of your life" they keep warning you about.  You've got friends, you've got loves, and they come and go, and with every coming and going there's joy, there's pain, and it's consuming.  What more is there than this?  There's no room left in you to deal with some far off time.  It's hard enough to deal with today.  You'd just like to have a little fun today, while you still can, because that far off future sounds like it sucks royally.  If these are the best years of your life that's really depressing, but you might as well make the most of them, somehow.

It's so much more, and so much less, than all of this.  And every story is a little different.  But here's the thing....you've got somebody who loves you.  No matter how many times you mess things up, no matter how angry she gets, she loves you.  She's exhausted beyond the point of reason, but for you she keeps trying.  Her life is for you, though she tries to carve out the occasional corner for herself, and you have to share her with your siblings.  She would give her life, literally, for you.  And here's the biggest secret....she's just as lost as you are.  That's the really terrifying thing about growing up.  It's learning that nobody really knows what the hell is going to happen next, everybody is just doing the best they can with what they've got.  There are always those people who make it look easy, and there are always those people who can't ever catch a break, and somewhere in the middle is most people.  People just taking crap from their bosses, from their spouses, from their friends, from their family, from their kids, from their relatives, always trying to figure the next step out, always a struggle.  And it's two steps forward, one step back, for most of your life.  And it sucks.

These adults who love you, they're just trying to help you reach maturity without self destructing, and hopefully with the skills to do better than they did.  They only have their own lives to use as a reference point, their own experiences to help them figure out how to do that, and all they can do is try.  So you're like a guinea pig, really.  And when you don't fit the mold they don't know what the hell to do with you.  They're trying to control you, but you don't want to be controlled.   It's just a constant struggle.  And when they say something, you don't hear what they say, you hear what you think they're going to say, and it hurts.

So what's my point?  You mean, I'm supposed to have a point?  What makes you think I have any better of a clue than anybody else....any special handle on all this that they don't have?  I've learned quite a bit, I've actually got a good handle on a lot of things, but there's no point in sharing any of it.  Everybody's life is totally and utterly different.  And if I told you what I know you wouldn't get it anyway.  It would sound trite and a lot like the garbage they shower on you regularly at school.  The most important thing that I can tell you is that you are not alone.  No matter what you feel, no matter how much it hurts, how angry you get, you are not alone.  Through all the joy, through all the pain, the misunderstanding, the frustration, you are not alone.  You are never alone.  Never.  It's the best I got.

So really, all you can do is keep plodding your way through  the bullshit.  Try to learn to work the system, to work within the system, when you need to.  It'll make things easier.  And try to learn how to say things and when to say things so that you don't heap piles of retribution on your own head.  How?  Well, trial and error is the best teacher.  If you can learn from your missteps it'll make things a lot easier.  If you can learn from the mistakes of others you'll be brilliant.  Good luck!

Laundry and Dishes and Dusting; Oh, My!!!

Sorting the clothes, washing the clothes, drying the clothes, folding the clothes, putting clothes away, buy new clothes, get rid of old clothes, buy new coats, buy new boots and shoes and sneakers, get rid of old outerwear.  Sort and replace the hats, gloves, mittens, scarves, snow pants.  
Buying the food, putting the food away, deciding what to make with the food, making meals with the food, cleaning up after the meals, rinsing the dishes, washing the dishes, drying the dishes, putting the dishes away.
Let the dogs out, let the dogs in, buy the dog food, buy the dog treats, feed the dogs, buy the dogs peepee pads, pick up the dirty peepee pads, put down more pee pee pads, bathe the dogs, buy flea treatment, treat dogs for fleas, make vet appointments, transport dogs to vets.
Let the cats out, let the cats in, buy the cats food, feed the cats, buy the cats litter, change the litter boxes.
Fill the trash cans, empty all the trash cans into one trash can, remove the full bag of trash, tie it, bring it outside to the big trash cans.  Avoid the overly friendly single 50 something trash man.  Pick up empty trash cans, chase down errant lids, replace trash cans in appropriate places.
Stock the fridge, sort through old food in the fridge and dispose, clean the fridge. Clean the stove.  Clean the oven.  Clean the microwave.  Clean the coffee pot.  Clean the mixer, the blender, the deep fryer, the crock pot, the bread machine.  
Make more ice.
Buy soap, buy shampoo, buy shaving cream, buy after shave, buy deodorant, buy toothpaste, buy floss, buy mouthwash, buy new toothbrushes, buy acne products,buy sunscreen, buy hair products, buy new shower curtain liners, buy toilet paper, buy toilet bowl cleaner, buy Comet, buy Lysol, clean toilet, clean tub and shower, clean floor, clean sink, clean mirror, wash linens.
Remove the sheets, remove the pillow cases, remove the blankets, wash all the linens, make the beds.
Vacuum the floors, sweep the floors, clean up messes on the floors, use the floor scrubber to scrub the floors, wax/shine the floors.
Remove cushion covers from sofa and chair cushions and wash and replace.  Use sticky roller to clean pet hair off furniture.  Dust all the things.
Clean the ceiling fans, replace the light bulbs, maintain the appliances, clean vents, clean knobs, clean cupboards, clean windows, clean tables.
Clean out junk drawers, clear off catch-alls, clean up book shelves, clean up movie shelves.
Do the budget, pay the bills, buy the presents, plan the trips.  Remember the birthdays, buy the cards, buy the stamps, fill out the cards, address the envelopes, mail the cards.   Get the mail, sort the mail.
Make the doctor appointments, get everybody to their doctor appointments, talk to all the doctors, get the prescriptions, fill the prescriptions, make sure everybody takes their medicines, buy the supplements and vitamins, make sure everybody takes their vitamins and supplements.
Buy the bird feeders, buy the bird food, fill the bird feeders, maintain the bird feeders.
Rake the lawn, mow the lawn, plant the flowers, deadhead the flowers, water the flowers, plant the grass seed, plant the garden, maintain the garden, harvest the garden, pick up dog messes, shovel the snow, salt the steps.
 Buy first aid products, keep first aid products together, sorted, up to date, and replaced, and use first aid when necessary.
Keep track of all hobby and extra curricular activities, buy supplies for all, schedule all, taxi to and from all.
Sort attic, maintain storage items in attic, bring seasonal item to and from the attic.
Paint, glue, iron, patch, sew, mend, clean, repair, replace all the things.
Keep track of all family members, their interests, their needs, their problems, their successes, share quality time.
Work to contribute money to household budget.
Find time for self.
So, how was your day?

This Ain't No Disco....

It ain't no country club, neither!
(Sheryl Crow)

I've got the house to myself today.  I should go on a cleaning spree but so far it's nearly 10:30am and I'm still in my pajamas.  So far today I've accomplished making coffee, charging my cell phone, and blogging.  Could be worse....I could still be in bed!  These days, though, laying in bed for too long makes my back and neck scream in a terrible agony that even large doses of ibuprofen doesn't help with.  I'm not sure if that's because I'm getting older or if it's because I'm so out of shape.  I've started doing my yoga stretches in an attempt to help with it....can't hurt.

It's a beautiful day out there today!  The sun is out, the fresh snowfall has covered up all the windblown crud and various messes that were out there so the world is a shiny bright puff of fluff right now.  The chickadees are swarming my bird feeders, happy to have an easy food supply.  Some of them are getting downright plump!  I haven't seen the woodpecker this morning, but he comes every day and nibbles away at the suet I've got out there for him.  The cardinals, on the other hand, haven't made an appearance in about a week, except for one sighting of the female earlier this week.  Granted, the food did run out for a day before I caught it and refilled it, but I think it's just that they're elusive birds.  I'm glad I got pictures while they were here feeding, in case they don't become regulars.

On my last blog post some guy commented....I got all excited for a moment when I saw I had a comment!  Oh, no.....this was god spam.  This guy has listed his occupation as "Keyboard Evangelist"....I suppose you can put a title to anything, eh?  So on top of his own very evangelical Christian blog he apparently goes around spamming random bloggers posts with his world view, no matter what the topic of the blog is and certainly without asking if his posts are welcome.  I don't suppose he really cares if people welcome his posts....in his mind he's spreading his worldview which will supposedly save eternal souls.  I didn't delete his comment, just replied to it, and went to his blog.  I posted a similarly random comment on one of his blogs with some information about ancient man made structures.  Specifically Gobekle Tepe and from a website that is religious in nature.  Curious if he'll approve the post....see, he doesn't allow comments to show up until he approves them.  I'd guess that like most evangelical people, he doesn't want scrutiny, questions, or any kind of free thought that might call into question any of his belief structure.  Which, to me, means that the belief structure just wouldn't stand up to it.

I really do not care what anybody chooses to believe.  At their core, most, if not all, of the religions of the world call for loving one another, for peace, for understanding and tolerance of all.  Whether a person believes in a god or goddess who dictates this goodness or they come to this through their own conscience and self awareness makes no difference to me.  The only time I really find myself cringing is when people use religion as a weapon:  a weapon to oppress a group of people, a weapon to control others, a weapon to wage war.  I don't like the pomposity or the condescension, the arrogance and judgement that so many allegedly religious people display in their certainty that not only are they correct in their choices but that others are somehow addled or ignorant for not complying with what they tell them to believe.  I don't like it, but I can turn away from it and feel sorry for them that they are so far removed from what they're preaching that it would be humorous if it weren't so annoying.  I don't take offense to anybody praying for me or condemning me because they don't have any power over me that I don't give them, and I refuse to give them any.  And they can be fun to play with....they're such easy targets!  lolz  That's the devil in me....a weakness, to be sure.  Playing with the small minded people is like teasing a cat with a laser pointer, except the cat at least gets some exercise from the game.  I'm trying to learn not to do such thing....to challenge without my own arrogance, because I have no better idea what's out there than anybody else.  I want to be more like Bill Nye!  :)  Here is what evidence I've got, here is what it proves to me, if you can prove differently with evidence then I will be open minded.

Well, that's enough knee deep rambling for this morning!  I've run out of creamer for my coffee and have no milk, not that milk is an adequate substitute for creamer, but I'm going to check out recipes to make my own creamer and see if I've got the ingredients.  If not, I guess the two cups of coffee I've had so far will be it for today....at least tomorrow is payday!!!
So if you like me, follow me!  If you have a moment, leave a comment!  And either way, have a good day my pretties!!