2/10/10 The Squeaky Wheel....is Just Annoying.

Ok, I realize that the old adage "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." does tend to be true in many situations. But standing at the customer service desk whining, making sounds like a wounded goose, is not going to really help your situation. You bought your product more than three months ago, you, yourself, did something to it to destroy it, you have no accessories to it, no box, no manual, although you somehow held on to the receipt. What in the name of all that is good in the retail world (yeah...oxymoron there) makes you think you should be able to return this product??? That we've offered to exchange it for a new one, which we would keep the box, accessories and manual for, is amazing considering how long ago you bought it, it's stunning! You should be happy, grateful, thankful! Nope. You're annoyed because you don't WANT a new one, you want credit back so you can shop for something new that you haven't broken yet. 

People....there are stores out there that only give you 14 days in which to return something. Our store gives you 90 days and the majority of our product. That is ridiculous, but it makes us the good guys. Now, when you have gone outside our incredibly extended overlong allowance of time for a return or exchange, give it up. You got more than a quarter of a year's worth of use out of the darn thing before it gave out on you. And it only gave out because of you.....if it were a manufacturer's defect it would have died three months ago. So get over yourself, suck it up buttercup, and deal if we have to tell you that (DUH) no, you cannot get your money back this long after the original purchase. 

And for the record, the person on the other side of that counter rarely has the power or authority to bend those rules or alter them in any way. And let's not forget that we're on camera; we're being watched. So no, we can't just make an exception for you because you spend so much money here. Look around you....EVERYBODY spends so much money here. We've got a grocery store, a pharmacy, an automotive center, a department store, toys, electronics, seasonal, a greenhouse and a few other random areas here and there. So you spend hundreds of dollars a month here? Honey, I do that just picking up my groceries. You are NOT special. So your little temper tantrum is not swaying me in any way and it's not doing you any favors, either. Did you know that your face gets all blotchy and really ugly when you scrunch it up like that. Yeah. Stop. It's no more cute on you than it is on my kid....and at least I was able to spank him when he was young and stupid enough to have a tantrum. And I'm considering slapping you, too, cameras or no.

Calling for management MIGHT get you somewhere....one out of ten times, depending on the day, the product, the manager and hugely on your attitude. It's usually a huge waste of everybody's time and only makes you more angry because the managers jobs are more secure so they can say things to you that I can't. Things like: Ma'am, why did you wait half a year to bring it back, then? Or, Ma'am, why do you want us to fix the problem when you're the one that broke it? Or even, Ma'am, if you continue to use language like that I'll have to ask you to leave our store. So consider carefully before you ask for a manager...most of the time you're just making yourself look even more stupid then you already did.

The moral of this story, kiddies? Don't break your toys. Don't move the X-box while there is a disk in it, don't set a TV on the TV tray, don't suck up your kids' socks with your vacuum cleaner, don't push, pull or bend on anything any harder than a 6 year old could, don't spill soda on your video game controller, don't buy an up to date game for your 7 year old computer system, don't play frisbee with the blue ray video, and yes...dropping the lead crystal vase will, indeed, crack it. Next time please drop it on your head. If you break your own toys, unlike your indulging parents who obviously catered to your every whim until you were about 30, we will not fix it for you. You'll have no toy, and no money that you spend on the toy.

Get over it.