Review of Vidal Sassoon's Salonist Hair Color

So first let me tell you that I'm a Bzz Agent.  If you haven't heard of it, what that means is that I get samples of products from various companies so that I can try things out and let them know what I think, and usually get some really awesome coupons to share with people.  In this case, I received a kit from Vidal Sassoon of their Salonist Hair Color in Dark Neutral Blonde.  Now, I'm a hair moron....I even had my husband choose the shade for me so I wouldn't end up picking something completely awful. (He did very well, by the way!)  I will tell you that this hair coloring kit was EASY!  My hair was last colored by some mediocre salon at a mall in Buffalo NY and has been slowly growing out ever since.  And while blonde highlights in brown hair blend, to a point, it doesn't at all when you've got six inches of dark brown roots.  I had a lot of the length cut off recently at the salon at JC Penny's at our local mall in Massena (HIGHLY recommended!!!) and it helped, but I really needed to do something about that mismatched color scheme I had going on.  When I had the opportunity to try this product I was very happy to.

Here is the kit!!  

Here is what I was starting with.  See those roots I was talking about?  Ugh!!

Here are all the bits and pieces from my VS Salonist Hair Coloring kit.  Now that folded up paper center front is the easiest set of directions that you're ever going to find in something like this.  It had step by step, clearly spelled out instructions with pictures.  Doesn't get easier than that!  And you could actually understand them!  Oh, and I really liked that you got REAL latex gloves (inside that container) to work with instead of those flimsy things that used to come attached to the directions?  Yeah, those were cheap.

So Step 1 -- mix this bottle and that tube together.  

Now, there's a line in that little black tray to help you know how much 3/4 of the tray is, because now you use 3/4 of this goop on your roots and save the other 1/4 for later.  

Am I hot, or am I HOT!!!  So this stuff smells okay.  There's a teensy bit of a tingly almost stingy/burning feeling, but not quite, like it's almost about to feel uncomfortable, but more that you're just aware of it.  And yeah, this is NOT how the model in the instructions looks, but forget her....she had help!  

Besides, I can vogue like Madonna!
(Shhhhhh.....yeah, I know.....I'm old....)  

So you leave this on for 20-30 minutes.  Plenty of time to have a glass of wine and read all about the next step.  In Step 2 you're going to take that little red packet and mix it with the remaining 1/4 of the goop in the tray.  Then you're going to grab glops of it and massage it into all your hair.  Tip -- do this over a sink!  I mean, this is not the time to be wearing your good shirt, using good towels, or hanging out in the carpeted den.  

Just get it all on there and let it sit for about 10 minutes.  Now here is where the less than pleasant smell comes in.  We are chemically altering our appearance and can't expect it to all smell like candy.  As these things go, the smell was fine, easily tolerable, and only made my eyes water a little when I was putting it on.  

You'll want to make sure before you even start this process that you can get to the sink, and have a towel and stuff ready over there.  Because the last step is going to be rinse the goop allllll out, wash, and condition with the very awesome stuff they give you.  Now only use about a quarter sized amount of their conditioner because you're going to use it about once a week or so until it's gone to help the color last longer.  

OMGZ!!  My roots match the rest of my hair!!! 

How easy was THAT!!!!  

And really, that's IT!  Yes!  That's all there is to this!  A good tip for anybody that colors their hair is cut the top of the box off so that you have the color name and number code for future purchases.  Maybe stick it in your purse.  It'll fall to the bottom and be there with the empty gum wrapper and pennies when you need it again in three months or so.  Now Vidal Sassoon's Salonist Hair Color advertises that is covers greys 100%!  So whether you are looking for a change up in color to chase away the winter blahs, or you need to beat some greys into submission, or you just have a bad set of roots that need dealing with, this is the product you want to try out!  And if you live near me, then you're in luck, because I've got FOUR coupons for this for $3 off!  So if you want one of these coupons let me know and I'll get it to you -- I don't expect them to last very long!
Many many thanks to Vidal Sassoon for sending me this product to try out!  I am very impressed in how simple it was to use and how soft my hair feels now, as well as the very nice color that it is now (especially compared to my before pics!!!).  

Diabetes Myths and Misinformation

Not in any particular order.

1.  Diabetes is caused by poor diet and fitness.  No, Diabetes is not caused by sugar.  There are a few different reasons why a person can develop diabetes, and while bad eating habits and being sedentary make some of it worse, it does not cause it to happen.  Type 1 is caused when the pancreas stops producing insulin.  Type 2 is a genetic disease caused by a combination of insulin resistance, low pancreatic activity, and faulty liver function, not always all three, in any combination of the above.  Type 1.5 is autoimmune and is, to keep it short, slow onset Type 1.  Gestational Diabetes is diabetes that develops during a pregnancy.  And traumatic injury or disease to the pancreas can cause diabetes.  But Twinkies and Coke do not cause it.

2.  Diabetes can be cured.  This one is my pet peeve so let me be completely clear.
     THERE IS NO CURE FOR DIABETES 
No matter what kind you have, at this point in time there is no cure.  Some, I repeat SOME Type 2's can go into a remission like state where, through a combination of lifestyle changes and the good fortune of their diabetes being less severe than others, their blood glucose numbers are in a normal range.  This is not the same thing as being cured.  You can't cure genes.

3.  Type 1 or 2 Diabetes is worse than the other type.  No.  Disease doesn't work that way.  There is no better or worse kind of diabetes.  It all sucks.  Having a disease that affects how you need to life your life, affects every organ in your body, affects the length of your life, and much more, is not a pissing contest.  None of this is a competition.  That's like saying one form of cancer is better or worse than another.

4.  Type 1 is something children get.  Incorrect.  Type 1 Diabetes, an autoimmune disease that happens when the immune system attacks the beta cells of the pancreas and kills off most or all insulin production in the body, can happen to any person at any age.  Nobody knows why it happens, nobody can stop it, and it's not predictable.

5.  Type 2 is something old people get.  Incorrect.  Type 2 Diabetes, a genetic disease, happens when the body becomes resistant to it's own insulin, the liver dumps glucose into the blood stream incorrectly, and the pancreas may or may not make insulin in the proper amounts.  It can happen to anybody with the gene, at any age, nobody can stop it, and it's not predictable.

6.  Diabetes isn't that bad, you just have to eat right.  Wrong.  Diabetes causes more deaths per year than breast cancer and AIDS combined.  There are complications from diabetes, such as heart disease and stroke, that are deadly.

7.  Diabetics can't eat sugar, or can't eat carbs.  That is absolutely not true.  The human body requires carbohydrates.  Not eating carbs will cause as much damage and problems to a diabetic as eating too much.  Telling a diabetic that they shouldn't eat that is just an asshole kind of  thing to say, unless you're talking to your child who you're trying to teach.  A diabetic needs to count how many carbs they're consuming and balance it out with the right amount of insulin or medication.  They got this; back off.

8.  Diabetics get sick more easily.  No, we really don't.  However, when we do get sick, the immune response in our bodies makes our blood glucose numbers jump around like kangaroos and more difficult to control.  So sometimes when we get sick, it's kind of a big deal.

9.  Fruit is healthy and natural so a diabetic can eat it.  Bonk!  SO not true!  Fruit is sweet, and full of carbohydrates, and needs to be properly accounted for when we count those carbs.

10.  There are lots of products that can cure diabetes.  OMG I hate those things and the people who push them.  I'll reiterate that diabetes does not have a cure.  Taking some product you read about online, saw in a commercial, had pretty packaging on the store shelf, or somebody tried to sell you, not only won't cure diabetes but may cause it's own set of problems.  Just because something is organic and made of all natural products doesn't mean there aren't side effects, it doesn't mean it's good for you, and it sure as shit doesn't mean it's going to cure you of an incurable disease.  If you want to try something do this -- print up a list of all it's ingredients and take that to your pharmacist.  Talk to the pharmacist about what medications you're currently taking and if any of the ingredients listed will interfere with them.  If you get a green light, go ahead and throw your money at it.  It's your body.  But don't say nobody warned you.

11.  Diabetics need insulin.  To be perfectly precise, every person needs insulin to live.  Some people don't make enough on their own and need to outsource production, is all.  But a diagnosis of diabetes doesn't mean that you will automatically go on insulin.  Many Type 2 diabetics control just fine with oral medication combined with diet and fitness.

12.  Diabetes only affects rich countries.  Not correct.  Diabetes occurs in every demographic, in every country, on every continent, in every color, in every religion, in every income bracket, in every age.  It doesn't discriminate.

13.  Diabetes care isn't costly.  Oh, how I wish!  Some diabetes medications that have been around a while are somewhat affordable, but no, diabetes is incredibly expensive.  Between the doctor visits every three months, the blood tests they perform, the self testing multiple times a day, the medications, the complications.....no, none of it is inexpensive.  

14.  Diabetics use their diabetes as an excuse to get out of things.  Well, I can't say that 100% of diabetics would never, ever do such a thing, but it's pretty likely that it's not true and you're just not understanding what's happening.  A diabetic needs to test their blood glucose regularly, they need to eat regularly, they need to take their medications regularly, and if their blood glucose levels get too high or low they need to treat that immediately.  So if they need to take a break from class or from their job or from whatever it is that they're doing to make sure things are okay, then they really do need to do that.  Would you rather they just passed out in front of you to prove they weren't making it up?

Oh, there are a lot of things that people don't know about diabetes.  Heck, there are a lot of diabetics who don't understand it themselves and have misconceptions!  There've been studies!  But you know, if you have questions please feel free to ask them.  Oh, and here's a study on how even many diabetics are lacking in education and understanding of what's happening to their own bodies.

 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2660470/

So What Is Diabetes?

I will start by saying that I am a diabetic.  I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in 2000 when I was pregnant with my son, at age 26.  At 30 years old I was officially diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.  I started out on oral medications combined with diet and exercise but eventually went to insulin.  I am now on an insulin pump.  I have joined a diabetes group on Facebook and was really stunned by reports of the misconceptions and lack of understanding by families and friends of diabetics everywhere.  I totally get that when something doesn't affect you personally, or somebody that you love, that you don't study up on it.  When it's somebody you know, though, don't you usually learn a bit more about it?  So I started a Facebook post this morning asking a few basic questions about diabetes from all the folks on my friends list.  The post hasn't been up there very long and already there are some of the stereotypical misconceptions up there as answers.   So in this blog post I'm going to explain what diabetes is, what some of the different types are, and how they're generally treated.

To begin, diabetes in general describes an inability of the person's body to correctly produce and/or use the hormone insulin.  Insulin is a hormone produced by beta cells that are on your pancreas.  Your body uses insulin to move glucose (sugar) from food from the bloodstream into cells throughout the body where it is then used for energy.

Type 1 Diabetes, often called Juvenile Diabetes, is an Autoimmune Disease.  What this means is that at some point, the body decided that those beta cells I mentioned weren't supposed to be there and the immune system attacks and kills off some or all of them.  This can happen at varying speeds.  Nobody knows why this happens.  This can happen at ANY age.  You can develop Type 1 Diabetes at 2, at 12, at 22, 52, etc.....it is not solely something that happens to children.  With those beta cells gone, the body does not produce any insulin on its own and so the person MUST give themselves insulin in order to survive.  No diet, no exercise, no pills will help.

Type 2 Diabetes used to be referred to as Adult Onset Diabetes.  In my grandmother's generation it often didn't present itself until a person reached retirement age.  Today we are seeing it in people of all ages, including children.  Type 2 Diabetes is a Genetic Disease.  A person can be in excellent health and eat a perfect diet and develop Type 2 Diabetes.  A person can eat nothing but Twinkies and Chips, drink four liters of soda a day, never exercise, and be obese and still not develop Type 2 Diabetes; it's about genetics.   The disease can present with no causal factors, it can just pop up at any time.  However, it can also be brought out earlier through a lack of activity or by poor diet.  It is not caused by diet or lack of activity, those are only factors that can cause it to present earlier than it MIGHT otherwise have developed.  With Type 2 Diabetes a person's body becomes resistant to the insulin it produces, as well as possible changes in the amount of insulin production.  Additionally, the liver, which produces it's own glucose (a survival mechanism meant to save a person who is starving) decides for unknown reasons to dump it's glucose into the blood stream when it doesn't really need to.  Type 2 Diabetes has a lot of varying ways it can be treated.  For about 13% of Type 2s it can be controlled through diet and exercise.  The largest percentage of Type 2s control their Blood Glucose numbers with oral medications combined with diet and exercise.  It is also controlled with insulin sometimes combined with the oral medications, sometimes not.  Type 2 Diabetes is a progressive disease.  A person can be perfectly controlled with only diet and exercise and still have to go on insulin at some point as their diabetes becomes progressively worse.

For some people, diabetes is developed due to traumatic injury to their pancreas, or due to other health conditions, all of which are beyond their control.  Their treatment depends on how much, if any, insulin their bodies can produce.

Gestational Diabetes develops during a pregnancy and must be strictly controlled for the safety of the unborn baby.  It often does not last beyond the pregnancy, if it's been properly controlled.  However, having gestational diabetes is an indicator that Type 2 Diabetes could develop at some point.

LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults) or Type 1.5 diabetes is a type of diabetes that often presents as Type 2 Diabetes and is very often misdiagnosed as such.  It is an autoimmune disorder where the beta cells of the pancreas are being attacked by the immune system but at a slower rate and therefore mimicking Type 2 at early stages.  When the attack on the beta cells progresses and insulin production ceases it presents more as Type 1.  There is a test that can be administered to determine if a person has Type 2 or Type 1.5 if the person and their doctor feel it's called for.

So!  Those are the different categories of Diabetes, how they are developed, how they are generally treated.
A diabetic does not need to avoid eating sugar. It's not even "sugar" that a diabetic is watching anyway, it's all carbohydrates.  Even so, a diabetic does not need to avoid carbs and SHOULD NOT avoid them.  Carbs are a main source of fuel for our bodies and not eating them at all will actually cause a diabetic's blood glucose numbers to rise, not fall, due to that pesky thing I mentioned earlier about the liver.  It's called a Liver Dump, and if you eat zero carbs your liver will dump glucose into your blood to save you.  This raises blood glucose numbers.  So avoiding all carbs accomplishes nothing and makes it all worse.

There are two types of diabetic emergencies:  Blood Glucose going too low, and BG going too high.

When a person's blood glucose drops too low, also called Insulin Shock, it is a life threatening emergency and needs to be treated immediately.  The signs that this is happening are similar to being drunk and often mistaken for that.  Lightheaded, confusion, slurred speech, dizzy, nausea, hot flashes, cold sweats, loss of motor control, among others, and if not treated, loss of consciousness.  To treat insulin shock, if the person is still awake, give them regular soda to drink, orange juice is an old stand-by, frosting is excellent.  Many diabetics carry Glucose Tablets or Gel with them to administer when this happens.  Some also have a kit with an injection to help if they lose consciousness.  If a person is not conscious, if you have frosting, smear some along their gums but be cautious not to block the airway.  Call 911 for assistance.

When a person's blood glucose rises beyond levels that their body is accustomed to, this is also very dangerous and can lead to a Diabetic Coma.  The person often becomes lethargic and sleepy and may lose consciousness.  There is nothing you can do to help them other than to call 911, as they need medical attention.

If you do not know which is the problem, too low or too high, you treat as if it's too low.  If they're too low and you treat it you may save their life.  If they're too high and you treat it as a low you will not be significantly changing anything.

ETA:  emergency treatment is not something that should be administered without knowing the situation as it could make things worse.  Your best move is to call 911 and do as you're told by the dispatcher.  If you are a diabetic it's a smart plan to let the people around you know what to do if you feel off, or to make sure people you are often with know what to do for you in emergency situations.  Wearing a Medic Alert bracelet is a smart move, too.

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So those memes and jokes like:  Andrew had 10 candy bars and ate 8 of them, what does Andrew have?  Andrew has diabetes!  Those jokes may be amusing, but they are wrong and they do spread inaccuracies and misconceptions about diabetes.  (I usually find them funny, but many diabetics are not so amused.)
And telling your diabetic cousin that maybe he shouldn't have any pie after Christmas dinner?  Not cool.  Unless you understand his diabetes, know what his blood glucose numbers are, know how he's medicated, and know what he should or shouldn't be eating, because he told you, then please keep your thoughts to yourself.  You may be correct or you may be unaware and insulting.

Magical Mythical Medical Miracles

I am diabetic.  I am a Type 2 diabetic who is on insulin and looking forward to getting an insulin pump next month.  I lead a normal life other than every single thing that goes into my mouth gets documented and if I slack off then I end up having problems.  As things go, there are worse and I'm very fortunate that I have a great medical team and good research abilities.  Good insurance rocks, too.

Over the years I've gone through various diabetes oral medications.  I've used glipizide, metformin, Januvia, Amyril.....in various combinations and with varying degrees of effectiveness.  I've managed to drive my A1c down to an excellent low of 5.4 and had it spike up over 11 over the course of the years I've been dealing with it.  A bit more than a year ago as my A1c hovered somewhat under 9 my doctor and I decided it was time for insulin.  I've found that while diet and exercise are the most important ways I can help myself, that insulin works a great deal better than pills.

I am a research junkie.  When I was diagnosed about nine years ago, now, with diabetes, having had gestational diabetes in 2000, I went very manic on the research.  I still keep up with current medical studies and pharmaceutical findings and so on.  I've tried various supplements over the years with varying success to help with blood glucose control.  I've found that cinnamon does seem to have a stabilizing effect, though minimal, that is noticeable especially when combined with Chromium as it is so often found now.  I do find that taking a teaspoon of honey at night before bed helps lower morning numbers that are often effected by overnight lows, or the Somogyi Effect.  I saw no effect with Alpha Lipoic Acid, but then it's said to help with neuropathy which I don't experience so who knows.  Garlic didn't do a thing.  Green Coffee Bean supplements were useless all the way around.  Co Q-10 is just too expensive and when I tried it I found no changes.  Flax seed was more annoying than anything trying to find ways to work it into my diet without gagging.  I do take Fish Oil and Vitamin D for their own sake and see no effects on my glucose numbers or control at all.  The multivitamin I take has excellent folic acid in it, calcium, vit C, etc, and I can't tell if I'm taking it or not, other than if I forgot it there it sits in my pill caddy.  I took a B complex once; I took it at half the recommended dosage and after about six weeks, overnight developed neuropathy in my toes which terrified me.  As it had come on so quickly and my A1c was good I did research on the B vitamins and discovered that you can overdose of certain B vitamins and neuropathy is how it presents itself.  I stopped the supplement immediately and the effect wore off entirely over the following week.  I've tried various diabetes supplement packages from various health food stores and retail locations.

Over the years I've tried many other things -- if it's out there I've read about it and likely tried it.  I read up on things first, make sure they don't have obvious side effects, and after the B complex thing I dig a fair amount.  I keep track of how long I'm taking something and document my glucose numbers and insulin amounts.  So far....beyond exercise and diet.....there isn't any magic bullet that helps blood glucose.  The best medicine that you can add to what your doctor gives you is to put the carbs down and get off your ass.  Advice I don't take very well, but I'm trying.  Believe me, I know how easy it is to say and how hard it is to do.

Obviously taking care of your overall health will help keep your body in a healthier state which will help with any condition you may be dealing with, including diabetes.  So certain supplements that help with deficiencies you may experience in your life, under the supervision of your doctor, aren't likely to hurt you.  Talking to your pharmacist is also an excellent resource.  People seriously overlook the importance of their pharmacist in their lives when this is often the person who is on the front lines of what you're putting into your body and has the most direct knowledge of it all.  Learn to love your pharmacist, folks.  

There is a LOT of misinformation out there.  From the Farmer's Almanac to that nurse's aide friend of yours, from Aunt Suzie to that holistic Facebook page you liked, everybody has heard about this or that, this thing that is supposed to help.  From the cabbage soup diet to drinking water with various veggies soaking in them, there's always something that somebody wants to share to be helpful, because surely this will work.  Maybe because it's "natural" or maybe because the Internet told us it was true, or their best friend did this and it worked....everybody just wants to help.  Of course, the best way to really help would be to offer to go for a walk with you, but they've read about this one supplement that really helped this lady on Facebook....it CURED her diabetes.   "I'm Super Cereal!"  (Forgive me....South Park just leaks in every now and then.)

Oh, how I wish it were true!  And I haven't given up....I'm still willing to try various foods, beverages, supplements, as they come along and see if maybe something helps.  You know, some magic thing I can ingest that will make it possible for me to lay on the couch watching television eating donuts and drinking Mountain Dew all day while staying thin, keeping my cholesterol, glucose, and weight all in check, and not slowly kill me.  If I find it, you'll know.....mainly because I'll be selling that shit and buying a mountain lake for my very own.....

So my point?  Oh....yeah, there kind of is one in here.  Earlier today on a Facebook page that I have previously enjoyed the hell out of, one of these CURES was posted.  When I objected to it, citing that it was bull and that somebody foolish might take it seriously and do something dangerous, the reply I got was that I was bitching at them and being pathetic for objecting to something I saw on Facebook, that there was a disclaimer right in the picture so people should know better.  (Because people are always hesitating and over-thinking things and never just jumping the gun with things they read online....)   I replied and then unliked the page and changed it so I won't see it in my feed.  I've only got a few friends who also liked it, so I really won't see it anymore.  It's a shame that you can't open a dialogue these days with people unless you blow sunshine up their ass, but that's how it goes.  I felt like I should counter balance the kind of crap they were putting out there with the general statement that there is no cure for diabetes.
THERE IS NO CURE FOR DIABETES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
None.  Nada. Zip.  Zilch.  They are working on it, and I donate what I can when I can toward that end, but at this point in time there is nothing that medical science has for the average consumer to make the beta cells on a pancreas come back to life, to make any you may have left function more efficiently, or anything else.  Be it Type 1, Type 2, Gestational, LADA, Metabolic Syndrome.....at this point in time there is no pill that you can take, you beverage you can make, no veggie you can eat, nothing that will fix it.  The only fix, and only for Type 2's, is to eat better and exercise and try to remember that we're lucky that's even an option, because it isn't for all diabetics.

My Local Online Newspaper

NorthCountryNow.com .....I'm not blind....I realize that all media is corrupt.  All modern media heels to the sources of their own funding.  If a media source needs to increase viewers or readers to increase profits then that is what they do, by whatever means necessary.  I believe that this is true from CNN all the way down to this small local media outlet.  It's a shame, though.  You'd like to think that maybe on a smaller, more local level, you might not see the greed, you might see something a bit more like what we used to call news.

Not that North Country Now ever posted anything remotely similar to news or current events, heck, Topix has more accurate current event information, but I've deleted them from my list of sites that I visit.  They've held the kind of entertainment value that used to be found with papers like The Weekly World News, and the Nat'l Enquirer.  Most recently, though, they've gone so far as to foster and promote a letter writing war among their readers.  They started by posting one woman's letter in the main news feed, which they sometimes do.  They made sure to pick the most inflammatory letter they could, which was of a woman condemning Potsdam's Gay Pride parade.  (A small town's first parade of this nature, and a first in our county, and it was lovely!)   In the following weeks, there have been flurries of letters written back and forth among readers and posted to their pages and the managers of the site keep the drama going by picking and posting alternating view points to the main news feed.  So essentially what North Country Now is telling us is that the North Country is so weak that ignorant debates over the sinful nature of humanity as deemed by "Good Christians" versus equal rights and our personal freedom not to have to listen to the condemnations of sheep is not only newsworthy, but what we deserve to read.  They're trying to increase site hits by increasing public drama rather than by seeking out and reporting news.  They weren't exactly a great news source, but they did report a lot of the smaller and more personal stories and I liked that.  Now they've just sunk to a new level, though.

Whatever mine or anybody else's opinions are about equal rights and such things, an alleged news source should at least not promote drama and bickering amongst it's readers in order to promote readership.  That isn't reporting the news....that's trying to make something into news, that's just ignorant drama.

I Miss You

Dear Aunt Glen,
Well, it's been over a year now since you died and about a year since I went and cleaned out your home, where you spent your last years, where you watched your husband precede you into the next mystery, where I got to know you as two adult women.
A dear friend of mine is losing somebody right now in a way very similar to how we lost you.  You had stage 4 lung cancer and it created other problems that killed you.  My friends father in law is suffering of end stage COPD and they're waiting for that final call.  Nobodies suffering is the same so I can't tell her that I know how she feels, but I think I know how much it hurts.
I remember that we had a few scares in that last year, scares where they told us it was near the end and you kept pulling back out of it by sheer force of will.  Man, you were a tough woman!  I think you wanted that last holiday season with your grandchildren and to see your sisters one more time before letting go, because that's exactly what you did.  I don't know if you know this, but I stayed with you at the end.  When they called I borrowed a car and flew down the highways to you.  Everybody had kept a vigil at your bedside, though I think you were already far beyond us at that point.  You son, your oldest child, and I stayed with you that last night.  We slept a little, but not really, and we took turns holding your hand and talking to you.  I whispered in your ear, I told you it was okay to let go, now.  I remembered a conversation just you and I had had where I told you when it was over I'd know that you were running across a summer field of flowers to your beloved, like Laura Ingalls, and we kind of laughed in that way you do when something hurts but you don't want to cry, so you laugh a little because it hits close to home.  You couldn't even walk at the end, couldn't even use facilities without help, and I told you that when you shed this life that's how I'd see you.
I want you to know that I do.  Today I'm thinking of you and in my thoughts you and Uncle Billy are in a summer place where there is only sunshine and joy, where there is no pain, no fear, no sadness.
Somebody else lives in that house now, and your children have gone their own ways as they always were going to.  No great lessons were learned, no new philosophy has been discovered, no great wisdom gained.  I miss you.  We all miss you.  Life goes one and we're all doing okay.  Thank you for sticking around a bit and taking care of a few things for my Mom.  I think it must be so tiring, at the end of a lifetime, to think of all the things you still wanted to do, to still have to comfort those around you while you're facing the next mystery looming so closely.  You did it very well, with grace, with love, and I think you got to have some fun there, a few times.  I'm glad, but oh, it hurts that you're not here.
Pick a daisy in that field for me, today, and smile for me.
I miss you.
Amy

To Be or Not To Be....That Is A Stupid Question

Don't you just love the way that Shakespeare's characters are commonly thought to be so deep and his works so very meaningful?  I wonder if someday people will look at Stephen King the same way....

What musicians will be to future generations what Beethoven, Bach, etc., are to us today?  Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen?

What medical miracles that we marvel at today will be the bonesaws and leeches of tomorrow?  Hip replacements?  Chemotherapy?

We put men on the Moon with less technology than many of us carry in our pockets today.  My son talks to his electronics and they do what he tells them to do.  My phone has been programmed with a sense of humor.  If this is the technology available to the masses, what levels of technological genius are at the fingertips of the supersecretsquirrel people?  If they revealed  the stealth technology in the 70's, when household technology was blown away with 8-tracks and microwaves, what are they hiding today?

I think it's pretty amazing to see the advances in technology and thinking just in my own lifetime, just in 40 years.  I think about the things that my mother had in her world and compare them to my son's world and it's like a science fiction novel.  I wonder.....what will our world be like when my grandchildren are grown.