Well, I was first diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes at 32 years old, so about eight years ago. I'd had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant in 2000, which was controlled by a very strict diet of 30g carbs for meals and 15g for snacks, and a morning dose of insulin at 7am every single stinking day. When diagnosed as a T2 I was on Metformin and Amyril and drove my A1c right down to 5.4 at my best. However, over the last handful of years I've been slipping. In part, I've been lazy, not testing, not being as strict in my diet, not walking or exercising every day, but also my diabetes has progressed. I take my meds every day, just as they are meant to be taken. I'm not sedentary, though I'm not highly active. And I've managed to continue my very slow but sure weight loss to the point where I'm at 170lbs from an all time high eight years ago of about 230lbs, and I'm still gradually working my way down. I want to be 160lbs for the summer and a size 12, instead of the size 14 I am right now. I'm getting there.
But my A1c is getting somewhere, too....mainly in the 9-11 range. I take 100mg Januvia, 2000mg metformin, and 5mg of glipizide every day, between morning and evening doses. I even take the occasional extra 2.5mg of glipizide, or extra 1000mg of metformin....mainly during my PMS week when my fluctuating hormones drive my numbers up a solid 50 points or more. Le sigh.
So basically, I'm out of control, medicine is no longer keeping anything even close to where it should be, and I've been avoiding my doctor most of this year and last. Which does nothing, of course, but allow me to live a fantasy and damage my body, but sometimes denial is just the game we play with ourselves.
I'm not completely out of denial yet, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at 8:30am and I am doing what I can to mentally prepare myself to be starting insulin. I expect that the Januvia and glipizide will go bye-bye and hopefully the metformin, too. I'm ready, I think, to stop acting like I've failed, somehow, and accept that even walking six miles, eating right, and taking my meds, isn't going to stop the march or this disease. I think that it might even be a relief, in the end. I know I'll certainly FEEL better when things are where they should be.
So I've googled, read up, and asked a dozen questions to somebody I know who is a Type 1, to learn about insulin. I want to try the pen instead of injections. I did injections when I was pregnant and there were mornings when I sat there with that tiny little needle poised above my thigh and the ONLY reason I managed to stick that dart in was for the child in my womb. I HATE NEEDLES. Oh, the irony, eh? Well, the pen sounds a lot easier.....more like using the lancet in my glucometer, which though I hate it, I do manage to do several times a day now. My T1 source explained how a sliding scale works, and that makes so much sense and seems to much easier than taking some extended release pill, and then testing, testing, testing, and walking, jumping jacks, elliptical, etc, trying to fight the inevitable rise of glucose in my blood.
I do have questions....but I don't know who I might know who's a Type 2 on insulin. If you read this -- let me know! lolz
When you're on insulin and are going to be drinking alcohol, how do you plan for that? Do you take less insulin knowing that the alcohol is going to eventually drop your glucose number? Or do you do things like your normally would and just watch your numbers and eat something if you need to?
What about birthday parties or other special events when you want a damned piece of cake or some ice cream? Or PMS when chocolate is an absolute MUST and you're just constantly in a state of munchies? If you find your numbers are higher than they should be, do you take an extra dose of insulin? That is, if you've got fast acting insulin?
Right now my morning numbers are high, but slightly lower than my bedtime numbers, so nothings going up at night. In the past I've had to have a bedtime snack to prevent going too low overnight. Does this mean I'll likely need some long acting or middle whatever insulin?
Le sigh. I'm sure there are other questions I don't even know enough to be thinking of yet.
The hardest part of this really is getting over this mental hurdle of guilt, that whole 'you did this to yourself' thing. Even though my fitness and nutritional habits kick started this journey, it was a journey that my genes planned for me. Diabetes is genetic. Thin people can develop Type 2, and there are many obese people that NEVER have any problems with blood glucose. Type 2 Diabetes has been with us for many years....it didn't just develop during the "obesity epidemic". My doctor told me at one of my visits last year, when my A1c was a horrifying number and I told her I'd been being bad, she told me that I couldn't have been that bad, not if I was taking my meds, not and be living a normal lifestyle, keeping active, working on losing weight and succeeding....she told me that there's more at work than anything I'm doing. I take that to mean that my beta cells are giving up the ghost and shutting down, sending me toward LADA/Type 1.5 realm,. or something along those lines.....can you develop a tolerance to these meds I've been taking? I don't know, but I don't think there are many other choices of meds out there.
Anyway.....I'm crazy nervous for this visit tomorrow. It's all well and good to say that I've accepted the inevitable, but it's a whole different story to actually face facts and go through with things. As they say, denial ain't just a river in Egypt. So if you're reading this and have any words of experience to offer, by all means do so! I already know the medical science part of most of it, though, so thanks anyway there.
Okay....off to be productive again!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! We had our party on Friday (today being Sunday) and though our only guests ended up being Crystal, and Shawn and Steph, we had a great time.
I'm definitely going stir crazy, cooped up in the house so much. There's snow on the ground still.....last year our party was outside! Ah, well. Spring is on it's way, you can smell it in the air, hear it when the geese sing, see it in the evening sunshine.....so I've just got to hang in there. I mean to start walking this week, though my walking partner is down with the flu. I've got to start moving more.....I've been feeling the effects of my laziness for a while now....I'm not putting pounds on, but I'm not losing any more either, and I just don't feel good.
So far 2013 is an interesting year. It started off badly with a great loss when my Aunt Glen died much sooner than expected. Though she was fighting stage 4 small cell lung cancer, she had a fall and slipped into a coma months before we thought we'd lose her. But she went quickly, all things considered, and was spared such pain. I have days where I miss her very much and pull up pictures. I only got to know her well in the last year or two, but I am so very glad I did get that chance. Though it hurts so much to have lost her, it was worth it to know her. My aunt and I went down and helped my cousin get the house cleaned out so it could go up for sale. It's a beautiful house and the price it's listed at is a steal.....if I lived in the Syracuse area I'd be all over it! Hopefully it sells quickly so that my cousin can put the last of all this behind her and have what closure she can. It's been a long and winding road for her that has left her with so many wounds and scars.
Financially things are pretty much where they were at last year. Which is to say, struggling, but no more than anybody else, and managing to get by one way or another. In this economy I don't believe that there are many people left who feel comfortable financially, so we try to stay grateful for what we do have and not worry about what we don't have. We have a lot more than a lot of people out there so we count our blessings.
We start this year with a very full house -- Kyle and I, Colin is headed into his teen years this year and we've moved his bedroom into the basement, our four dogs Max, Jake, Gypsy, and Milly, and our three cats Lucky, Viscous, and Maya. It's a bit crowded, and things get a bit nuts at times but all in all, it's all good.
My father's hip replacement is all healed up, but his lower back is destroyed and isn't something that the good doctors can fix, so he's all but disabled. My mother has psoriatic arthritis and is taking low dose chemo to help with it and looking to start Embril soon.
My youngest brother is job hunting. His back is destroyed, too, but he's young and looking to put that aside and have some kind of life. My other younger brother down in Philly sounds like he's doing well. He has a girlfriend whose parents sound like they actually LIKE him, and he seems pretty serious. I'll believe it when I get the wedding invitation, though.
I have friends in every state of existence it seems.....one going through a divorce, one trying to plan a wedding, one working through and unusual marriage, one who's gone all quiet, one who's popped up out of nowhere, one starting a new career, one sick and struggling with her health, and more. Anybody who thinks that getting older puts you beyond some of these hurdles in life is dead wrong.
So that's a short summary of the last several months.
So how you doin'?
I'm definitely going stir crazy, cooped up in the house so much. There's snow on the ground still.....last year our party was outside! Ah, well. Spring is on it's way, you can smell it in the air, hear it when the geese sing, see it in the evening sunshine.....so I've just got to hang in there. I mean to start walking this week, though my walking partner is down with the flu. I've got to start moving more.....I've been feeling the effects of my laziness for a while now....I'm not putting pounds on, but I'm not losing any more either, and I just don't feel good.
So far 2013 is an interesting year. It started off badly with a great loss when my Aunt Glen died much sooner than expected. Though she was fighting stage 4 small cell lung cancer, she had a fall and slipped into a coma months before we thought we'd lose her. But she went quickly, all things considered, and was spared such pain. I have days where I miss her very much and pull up pictures. I only got to know her well in the last year or two, but I am so very glad I did get that chance. Though it hurts so much to have lost her, it was worth it to know her. My aunt and I went down and helped my cousin get the house cleaned out so it could go up for sale. It's a beautiful house and the price it's listed at is a steal.....if I lived in the Syracuse area I'd be all over it! Hopefully it sells quickly so that my cousin can put the last of all this behind her and have what closure she can. It's been a long and winding road for her that has left her with so many wounds and scars.
Financially things are pretty much where they were at last year. Which is to say, struggling, but no more than anybody else, and managing to get by one way or another. In this economy I don't believe that there are many people left who feel comfortable financially, so we try to stay grateful for what we do have and not worry about what we don't have. We have a lot more than a lot of people out there so we count our blessings.
We start this year with a very full house -- Kyle and I, Colin is headed into his teen years this year and we've moved his bedroom into the basement, our four dogs Max, Jake, Gypsy, and Milly, and our three cats Lucky, Viscous, and Maya. It's a bit crowded, and things get a bit nuts at times but all in all, it's all good.
My father's hip replacement is all healed up, but his lower back is destroyed and isn't something that the good doctors can fix, so he's all but disabled. My mother has psoriatic arthritis and is taking low dose chemo to help with it and looking to start Embril soon.
My youngest brother is job hunting. His back is destroyed, too, but he's young and looking to put that aside and have some kind of life. My other younger brother down in Philly sounds like he's doing well. He has a girlfriend whose parents sound like they actually LIKE him, and he seems pretty serious. I'll believe it when I get the wedding invitation, though.
I have friends in every state of existence it seems.....one going through a divorce, one trying to plan a wedding, one working through and unusual marriage, one who's gone all quiet, one who's popped up out of nowhere, one starting a new career, one sick and struggling with her health, and more. Anybody who thinks that getting older puts you beyond some of these hurdles in life is dead wrong.
So that's a short summary of the last several months.
So how you doin'?
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Happy Valentine's Day
Well, it's a simple day. Colin is in school, I've got Sammy here, Kyle just got up. I've been getting the house cleaned up because I'm heading to Syracuse in the morning. My Aunt Heather and I are going down to help my cousin clean out her moms house. It's looking like its going to be a hell of a trip. My cousin is deeply grieving the loss if her mother.
I'm all packed. Joann treated me to a hair cut so I don't look awful. I've got the house pretty clean and the laundry caught up, easy food for the boys...they shouldn't need a thing.
For today I got Kyle and Colin funny cards, made them some deviled eggs, made some burger patties and marinating a London Broil to grill....so we'll all have a nice dinner together. :)
I'm all packed. Joann treated me to a hair cut so I don't look awful. I've got the house pretty clean and the laundry caught up, easy food for the boys...they shouldn't need a thing.
For today I got Kyle and Colin funny cards, made them some deviled eggs, made some burger patties and marinating a London Broil to grill....so we'll all have a nice dinner together. :)
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Need A Boost?
I will admit, I've had a 5 hour energy before. I've even had a Red Bull a couple of times. Usually if I'm driving long distances and just can't seem to keep my focus. As a general rule, though, I get my artificial stimulants from coffee any soda. Call me a traditionalist. ;)
Years ago I became a Bzz Agent. This means that I get sample or discounts on products to kind of give them a test run and let people know about them. Recently a product I've tried out is from Green Mountain Coffee and its called Focus Blend. It's a part of their Wellness Collection. Now, you do have to make this as a 6oz cup if coffee or its too weak, but it DOES give you hours of focus with no jitters and no crash. I also tried the Antioxidant Blend. I've just got to rave about that Focus Blend, though!! That stuff is da bomb!!
Years ago I became a Bzz Agent. This means that I get sample or discounts on products to kind of give them a test run and let people know about them. Recently a product I've tried out is from Green Mountain Coffee and its called Focus Blend. It's a part of their Wellness Collection. Now, you do have to make this as a 6oz cup if coffee or its too weak, but it DOES give you hours of focus with no jitters and no crash. I also tried the Antioxidant Blend. I've just got to rave about that Focus Blend, though!! That stuff is da bomb!!
<img src="https://img.bzzagent.com/image/greenMountainWellness.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=7167868471&Campaign=2041194021&Uid=262790&token=9b8af58b118fbf0a7225973d9d000191" alt=""/>
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Gizmo
To help fill the emptiness, though there could never be a replacement, we've adopted a minpin who was being fostered in the Ogdensburg area. He is six years old and we've named him Jake. He's very fearful and has obviously been mistreated somewhere along the lines. The only problem we're having with him is that he's not housebroken....or he's forgotten how to be. So earlier I brought Max's pet taxi up and cleaned it well and made Jake a nice nest in it. We'll have to crate train him, I guess. We hate to do it to him because he's been through so much, but I'm getting damned frustrated cleaning up all his piddle spots.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Dark Monk Bzz Campaign
<img src="http://img.bzzagent.com/image/darkMonk.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=5946912393&Campaign=0683860518&Uid=262790&token=e106591bf6b1c0969b2e99eae8f19a99" alt=""/>
Bah! I was really excited about joining this Bzz Campaign! I was hoping to read The Dark Monk and The Hangman's Daughter. They didn't tell us until after the campaign started that Kindle Fire and iPhone Kindle apps wouldn't be able to access the books. Very disappointing. I would really have liked to have had that information before joining the campaign. The books look so good!!! I've got to say, it's the first time that I've been disappointed in the coordination of a Bzz Campaign.
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm a Bzz Agent. A Bzz Agent is somebody who gets to learn about products before they're released or as they're released and share what we've learned about them. I've been in some pretty terrific Bzz Campaigns over the years. You can learn more at www.BzzAgent.com.
If you're looking for something good to read, I've heard many really good reviews on these books! Hopefully I'll be able to read them soon.
The Dark Monk
The Hangman's Daughter
Bah! I was really excited about joining this Bzz Campaign! I was hoping to read The Dark Monk and The Hangman's Daughter. They didn't tell us until after the campaign started that Kindle Fire and iPhone Kindle apps wouldn't be able to access the books. Very disappointing. I would really have liked to have had that information before joining the campaign. The books look so good!!! I've got to say, it's the first time that I've been disappointed in the coordination of a Bzz Campaign.
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm a Bzz Agent. A Bzz Agent is somebody who gets to learn about products before they're released or as they're released and share what we've learned about them. I've been in some pretty terrific Bzz Campaigns over the years. You can learn more at www.BzzAgent.com.
If you're looking for something good to read, I've heard many really good reviews on these books! Hopefully I'll be able to read them soon.
The Dark Monk
The Hangman's Daughter
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)