What a very odd holiday season it is so far this year. We had a little bit of snow in October, and then nothing. The temperatures have been in the 40's and 50's most of November and so far in December. I can't say that I mind it....it's making our heating bill absolutely a wonderful thing. It would normally be three to four times it's current size at this point in the winter.
I've been at loose ends for a while, now. When I stopped being a Day Care provider for the little guy I watched, because he got older and all that, I didn't really have anything to replace it with. Oh yes, I have hobbies but I really haven't been motivated to do anything like that. I haven't even felt much like reading, to be honest. And that's very odd, for me. I have been steadily putting out job applications and watching the local listings. What I want is a clerical type of position, Monday through Friday, banker's hours. What I'd most like, would be for that to happen at Clarkson University. It's really a very beautiful place to work, though I realize not everybody's experiences there are perfect. Nothing is perfect. I like the old buildings and the atmosphere. I want to wear nice clothes and talk to adults. It's also true that working there would provide my son with free tuition and that he would benefit very much from the courses that Clarkson offers. But I've been applying there for years, now, with only one interview. And man, I had that one in the BAG until a woman stepped in with my lifetime's worth of years of experience in that exact department. Nobody could have competed with that and truly, she got the job. And truly, she lasted less than one year. They refilled the position internally, after that. I've still been plugging away, applying to most anything that I'm qualified for. Some jobs sound more perfect than others, but always I just get the thanks but no thanks letter a month later. It does get very discouraging. I have such a unique level of experience in the things that most employers want, the people skills, the communication skills, the organization skills, the ability and willingness to learn and be challenged, and the fact that, at 42 years old, I'm looking for a job that will last me the rest of my working life. Want to fill a position and keep it filled? I'm who you hire. I've assumed, though, that I just don't look good enough on paper to get those interviews.
Well, until yesterday. At 2:30pm yesterday I looked over Clarkson's website and applied for two positions that were open that I am qualified for. While I was at it, I also applied for a customer service position at another local company who has said thanks but no thanks to me in the past but is once again hiring. Within hours, I was contacted by one of my references from the Clarkson applications who let me know they were checking my references. By 5:30 I heard from the local company who scheduled me for an interview this afternoon. Meanwhile, my financial aid package will arrive any day now from SUNY Potsdam college to enroll as a full time student this coming semester. We shall see how this all plays out. A bird in the hand and all, I will absolutely take a job before going back to college. The point of going back to school is to get a job. If I can get the job without the 4-6 years of additional schooling, then yay.
So then I've got two jobs potentially looking at me. Yikes! It's been a long time since I've been in this kind of situation. They have similar pay scales. They both would be interesting and challenging and fire up my mind. They are both good jobs in their own right. It may very well come down to first come, first served. I did take the time to send a follow up email to the department head of the Clarkson job letting him know that I am interested, that I am awesome, and that I am potentially disappearing. Hopefully, I hear back from them for an interview before too long. Meanwhile, I've got my clothes picked out for this afternoon's interview, my folder all set, and am just killing time, now.
If I'd known that heading back to school caused employers to come out of the woodwork, I'd have done this a long time ago.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Still....
I am still applying for jobs. I have my acceptance letter on the freezer door because YAY! And any day now I expect to receive some paperwork from financial aid and then I can call them and get to work on the final details. But today I applied for three local jobs. Two of them are at Clarkson University....I would so dearly love to get a job there. The third was for a job that I applied for another time it popped up in the local paper. They haven't changed their ad, nor their website, and it kind of worries me that the position pops up occasionally. Is it a lousy place to work and they have bad turnover? Or is it that people get really good and move upward into other positions and this entry level type job opens when that happens? It's great hours and great pay, so if I were offered it, I'd take it. I would still take classes, if I managed to land a job before things got going. I kind of want to, now, despite my trepidation about it. And I'm slightly more than halfway to a Bachelor's already. It'd be a shame to waste that. But if I can double or more the household income, I'm sure as hell going to do that. A bird in the hand, and all.
And I'll be damned! One of my references just let me know that she's already been contacted! Wouldn't that just beat all, if I finally wrapped my head around going to school and THEN landed a job I want? lolz! Well, I'd take it. I'd damned sure take it....it would be a wonderful thing to finally land a M-F, 9-5 office job. I'd ROCK a job like that and they'd be so happy they'd hired me! I am exactly what they want, if they only stop long enough to see it. I am 42 years old, my son is 15 and no longer requires me around to feed him, or be with him when he's sick, etc. I own a home and am not leaving this area. My husband and I have strong ties to this community and have already rejected transferring out of the area when he worked at GM and it closed down. I am on top of my health and don't need time off for sniffles and things like that. Oh, and I can pass any and all drug tests at any time. I'm SMART, I'm great with computers, I'm a mad queen of details and organization, and I LOVE to be good at things. I like to be the BEST at things. I'm looking for a job I can retire from in 25-30 years, not a stepping stone to bigger and better things. And the place that finally gets that, is going to be glad they did.
So, cross your fingers for me! Not really sure for which, but just in general. What will be, will be.
And I'll be damned! One of my references just let me know that she's already been contacted! Wouldn't that just beat all, if I finally wrapped my head around going to school and THEN landed a job I want? lolz! Well, I'd take it. I'd damned sure take it....it would be a wonderful thing to finally land a M-F, 9-5 office job. I'd ROCK a job like that and they'd be so happy they'd hired me! I am exactly what they want, if they only stop long enough to see it. I am 42 years old, my son is 15 and no longer requires me around to feed him, or be with him when he's sick, etc. I own a home and am not leaving this area. My husband and I have strong ties to this community and have already rejected transferring out of the area when he worked at GM and it closed down. I am on top of my health and don't need time off for sniffles and things like that. Oh, and I can pass any and all drug tests at any time. I'm SMART, I'm great with computers, I'm a mad queen of details and organization, and I LOVE to be good at things. I like to be the BEST at things. I'm looking for a job I can retire from in 25-30 years, not a stepping stone to bigger and better things. And the place that finally gets that, is going to be glad they did.
So, cross your fingers for me! Not really sure for which, but just in general. What will be, will be.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
When I Grow Up.....
When I grow up I'd like to be a therapist. I'd like to, eventually, work in a nice office with a nice desk where I keep all my paperwork organized. I'd like to have some nice comfy chairs, an overstuffed couch, a bean bag, a coffee table with some adult style coloring books on it, some Van Gogh prints on the walls. When people put a gentle hand on a friends shoulder and say, "You really should talk to somebody," I want to be that somebody that they're going to come talk to. Whether they think they might have a mental illness, or they need help dealing with something that has happened to them or been done to them, or maybe they just can't believe that they deserve a happy life and need help getting there.....I want to be that person.
http://www.humanservicesedu.org/counselor-vs-psych-vs-therapist.html
It can be tricky when terms are sometimes interchangeable and sometimes not. Even trickier when outside of the profession, those terms become even more fluid.
http://www.psychiatry.org/residents-medical-students/medical-students/psychiatry-is-it-for-me?wptouch_preview_theme=enabled
I am not aiming to be a psychiatrist. Oh, I would, if I were ten years younger but at 42 I just really do NOT have the ambition. The ability is there, and I think I would find it fascinating to take the classes (I've always really loved biology) but it's just beyond what I want to do at this point in my life. I've only got an Associate's Degree as I being this journey, so I've got many years of school ahead of me no matter what I do. And MedTerm was aggravating enough 20 years ago. lolz!
http://careersinpsychology.org/new-york-social-work-licensing-process/
I am not aiming for employment in the field of social work. Now there are some people who work their collective ASSES off. And with the right degree in the right area of social work you can absolutely be a therapist. Most often, the help is not limited to talk therapy for these fine folks but also includes working with programs, departments, courts, et cetera, as in intermediary to help their clients out in the world. New York State does NOT make it an easy thing to do, being a social worker. Just reading the description of what necessary to become a therapist through this degree program makes me want to gouge out my eyes. Oh, and it takes at least a Master's plus so many clinical hours and supervision and a lot of the same hoops. And in the end, you work twice as hard for about half the pay and the field has a burnout rate akin to the retail career I fled years ago. My hat is off to the men and women in that field....it is a calling.
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-licensed-counselor-in-new-york/
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-psychologist-in-new-york/
http://www.counselor-license.com/articles/psychologist-vs-counselor.html#context/api/listings/prefilter
Well, when you look at choosing between a doctorate in counseling and a doctorate in clinical psychology, you're looking at the same number of years and the same level of work involved to get there. There's really a lot of overlap between the two, depending where you look. I'm aiming for the psychology doctorate. I like the versatility, I like the research aspect of it, it's much more in line with what I want for myself.
There are four colleges in my area. SUNY Canton, SUNY Potsdam, Clarkson University and St. Lawrence University. Now, the two universities have tuition fees that are higher for one year than the tax assessment on my home. I'd sure LOVE to attend either of them, but I'd also love to have Marilyn Monroe's figure and Harry Potter's wand. Canton offers a BS and Potsdam offers a BA. If I were stopping at Bachelor's level, I would definitely have to aim for Canton, but I will pursue a Master's then a Doctorate after that point. So I am hoping to go to Potsdam. I've sent them my application, my previous college transcripts, and have filled out my financial aid paperwork. I was hoping to hear back from them this week. Waiting always sucks. ;)
I haven't stopped watching the local job listings. I am still getting the occasional thanks but no thanks letters from jobs I've applied for. Kind of depressing, those letters. There are worse things, but still....
As I navigate all of this, doing this research on what's what, and trying to narrow down what I'd like to see myself doing a decade from now, I am stunned at how useless my high school guidance counselor was. I have no memory of that person outside of one maybe ten minute session that all kids had to be handed applications for college or some such thing. Nobody ever told me so much as what degrees were what, what took how long, where to go for various programs, or even helped me narrow down the vaguest idea of what I might want to aim for. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, handed a form to fill out, then shoo'ed out of my seat as the next drone was called in. I had no older siblings, my parents didn't have higher education, a few distant family members went to college but I wasn't close to them, then, nor did I have the wisdom to even ask them about it at that point in time. Thankfully, I've been able to help my son a bit more than that. This experience will allow me to be much more help to him, when it's time for him to do this in a couple years.
Onward and upward.
http://www.humanservicesedu.org/counselor-vs-psych-vs-therapist.html
It can be tricky when terms are sometimes interchangeable and sometimes not. Even trickier when outside of the profession, those terms become even more fluid.
http://www.psychiatry.org/residents-medical-students/medical-students/psychiatry-is-it-for-me?wptouch_preview_theme=enabled
I am not aiming to be a psychiatrist. Oh, I would, if I were ten years younger but at 42 I just really do NOT have the ambition. The ability is there, and I think I would find it fascinating to take the classes (I've always really loved biology) but it's just beyond what I want to do at this point in my life. I've only got an Associate's Degree as I being this journey, so I've got many years of school ahead of me no matter what I do. And MedTerm was aggravating enough 20 years ago. lolz!
http://careersinpsychology.org/new-york-social-work-licensing-process/
I am not aiming for employment in the field of social work. Now there are some people who work their collective ASSES off. And with the right degree in the right area of social work you can absolutely be a therapist. Most often, the help is not limited to talk therapy for these fine folks but also includes working with programs, departments, courts, et cetera, as in intermediary to help their clients out in the world. New York State does NOT make it an easy thing to do, being a social worker. Just reading the description of what necessary to become a therapist through this degree program makes me want to gouge out my eyes. Oh, and it takes at least a Master's plus so many clinical hours and supervision and a lot of the same hoops. And in the end, you work twice as hard for about half the pay and the field has a burnout rate akin to the retail career I fled years ago. My hat is off to the men and women in that field....it is a calling.
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-licensed-counselor-in-new-york/
http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-psychologist-in-new-york/
http://www.counselor-license.com/articles/psychologist-vs-counselor.html#context/api/listings/prefilter
Well, when you look at choosing between a doctorate in counseling and a doctorate in clinical psychology, you're looking at the same number of years and the same level of work involved to get there. There's really a lot of overlap between the two, depending where you look. I'm aiming for the psychology doctorate. I like the versatility, I like the research aspect of it, it's much more in line with what I want for myself.
There are four colleges in my area. SUNY Canton, SUNY Potsdam, Clarkson University and St. Lawrence University. Now, the two universities have tuition fees that are higher for one year than the tax assessment on my home. I'd sure LOVE to attend either of them, but I'd also love to have Marilyn Monroe's figure and Harry Potter's wand. Canton offers a BS and Potsdam offers a BA. If I were stopping at Bachelor's level, I would definitely have to aim for Canton, but I will pursue a Master's then a Doctorate after that point. So I am hoping to go to Potsdam. I've sent them my application, my previous college transcripts, and have filled out my financial aid paperwork. I was hoping to hear back from them this week. Waiting always sucks. ;)
I haven't stopped watching the local job listings. I am still getting the occasional thanks but no thanks letters from jobs I've applied for. Kind of depressing, those letters. There are worse things, but still....
As I navigate all of this, doing this research on what's what, and trying to narrow down what I'd like to see myself doing a decade from now, I am stunned at how useless my high school guidance counselor was. I have no memory of that person outside of one maybe ten minute session that all kids had to be handed applications for college or some such thing. Nobody ever told me so much as what degrees were what, what took how long, where to go for various programs, or even helped me narrow down the vaguest idea of what I might want to aim for. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, handed a form to fill out, then shoo'ed out of my seat as the next drone was called in. I had no older siblings, my parents didn't have higher education, a few distant family members went to college but I wasn't close to them, then, nor did I have the wisdom to even ask them about it at that point in time. Thankfully, I've been able to help my son a bit more than that. This experience will allow me to be much more help to him, when it's time for him to do this in a couple years.
Onward and upward.
Monday, November 16, 2015
99 Luftballoons
Ninety-nine dreams I have had and every one a red balloon.
That's just what's playing right now, not anything of any great meaning. :) I suppose I could relate it to my life somehow, but mostly I just enjoy listening to older music while I clean or work around the house.
Today I am painting the bathroom. I hate painting. I really do hate paining. But it's one of those things that needs to be done every so often or your house just looks like shit. Over the end of summer I painted the dining room and the living room, minus the ceilings. I hate ceilings even more, so I keep putting them off. Today, I'm doing the bathroom. Yesterday, I cleaning all the walls and ceiling and prepped. So far I've got one coat on the ceiling and starting a primer coat on a section that was painted darker than the rest. I paint for a bit then stop because my arms get so tired and start to burn. I really have no upper body strength....all my power is in my legs. I'll get at least the entire room done with one coat, probably two on the ceiling, which should hopefully be enough to finish that. Luckily for me I have a teeeeeny tiny little bathroom!
Once it's all done I'll be pulling Christmas out of the attic and exploding it all over! Tree included. I bought my lights at Ollie's a few weeks ago. Twenty boxes of 100 multicolored twinkle lights. Oh yes, I like Christmas lights! Once that's all done, I've got presents to wrap for hubby's Brother and SIL who are coming this weekend to do our Holiday dinner gathering. We haven't actually seen them in over a year. It doesn't go that long, usually, but it's just been one of those years. It'll be really nice to see them.
Friday I was finally able to send in my SUNY college application for SUNY Potsdam. Wonder how long it takes to hear back from them? I'll need to get to a printer so I can print up some other forms I think I'll need to fill out, and call financial aid and get on top of that. Looks like I totally qualify. No surprise there! Chatted with the kiddo today about the various costs of tuition, tuition plus room/board, and so on. Hopefully, by the time he's headed to college in a couple years, there will be something better in place than the current financing system. In the meantime, we can both learn from me doing it.
GOD I hate painting.
If I weren't on a handful of ibuprofen I'd totally break open a bottle of wine to make it a bit less awful.
Oh, well. Onward and upward!
That's just what's playing right now, not anything of any great meaning. :) I suppose I could relate it to my life somehow, but mostly I just enjoy listening to older music while I clean or work around the house.
Today I am painting the bathroom. I hate painting. I really do hate paining. But it's one of those things that needs to be done every so often or your house just looks like shit. Over the end of summer I painted the dining room and the living room, minus the ceilings. I hate ceilings even more, so I keep putting them off. Today, I'm doing the bathroom. Yesterday, I cleaning all the walls and ceiling and prepped. So far I've got one coat on the ceiling and starting a primer coat on a section that was painted darker than the rest. I paint for a bit then stop because my arms get so tired and start to burn. I really have no upper body strength....all my power is in my legs. I'll get at least the entire room done with one coat, probably two on the ceiling, which should hopefully be enough to finish that. Luckily for me I have a teeeeeny tiny little bathroom!
Once it's all done I'll be pulling Christmas out of the attic and exploding it all over! Tree included. I bought my lights at Ollie's a few weeks ago. Twenty boxes of 100 multicolored twinkle lights. Oh yes, I like Christmas lights! Once that's all done, I've got presents to wrap for hubby's Brother and SIL who are coming this weekend to do our Holiday dinner gathering. We haven't actually seen them in over a year. It doesn't go that long, usually, but it's just been one of those years. It'll be really nice to see them.
Friday I was finally able to send in my SUNY college application for SUNY Potsdam. Wonder how long it takes to hear back from them? I'll need to get to a printer so I can print up some other forms I think I'll need to fill out, and call financial aid and get on top of that. Looks like I totally qualify. No surprise there! Chatted with the kiddo today about the various costs of tuition, tuition plus room/board, and so on. Hopefully, by the time he's headed to college in a couple years, there will be something better in place than the current financing system. In the meantime, we can both learn from me doing it.
GOD I hate painting.
If I weren't on a handful of ibuprofen I'd totally break open a bottle of wine to make it a bit less awful.
Oh, well. Onward and upward!
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
The World of Limited Choices
I graduated high school in 1991. Due to circumstances beyond my control, and a lack of useful guidance from my high school, I was unable to attend college when I graduated. A year later I tried to go to a little local college and barely even passed. I was unfocused and at odds with myself, then, and had no real direction. I got a full time job and worked. Eventually, my mother started stuffing literature under my face from a local business college and a comparable one downstate called Bryant and Stratton Business Institute. It wasn't what I wanted, but I did it anyway. I met lifelong friends and had my share of fun. I was also miserable and unhappy with my classes, unimpressed with most of my teachers, and practically teaching one of the courses myself. I finished an 18 month A.O.S. program in 15 months while holding down a job and making Dean's List. Anything to get the F*** out of there! And once I got home again, it turns out that my degree was useless. I was worth less than the paper it was printed on. Medical Office Management.....yeah, the local doctors weren't even looking for a filing clerk and they didn't offer benefits or retirement or anything at all other than a dollar or two over the minimum wage and a decent shift. So I went back into retail and used the management aspect to have a 12 year career in retail management, culminating in running a RadioShack. Then I had a baby, and my marriage failed and I was a single mom, and life went right to shit. Working six day weeks, eight to twelve hours a day, an hours drive each way, really wasn't working for me. Right about then is when I met the man who is now my husband.
Over the years, I stopped working in retail and took on jobs with bankers hours. Eventually I worked at home, and eventually I was just a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). At different times I've picked up part time jobs for extra cash, and provided day care for the children of my friends over the years. But all the children are growing up, now, and don't need a nanny anymore. The thought of going back into retail makes me weep. Over the last four years I have been steadily applying for positions at three of the four local colleges, focusing on one in particular with the idea that my son would not have to pay tuition if I worked there but also because I really like it there. It's a beautiful place full of old buildings and tall trees and people who seem genuinely happy to be there. In all that time, I've had one interview. I have a folder of depressing rejection letters. It's just not happening. I have the skills they need and want, and I have the ability to communicate that to them, but I'm not getting through.
Over the last three to four months, since the last of the children I watched has gone on to other places, I have been looking at all the job sites. I've been watching the regular listings, watching local papers where smaller business like to advertise so they don't get bombarded with applicants, and asking around. Basically, there are a lot of opportunities in retail, in food service, and in direct people care such as CNA jobs and the ARC centers. These all pay very low level wages for what is actually not easy work, despite the common stereotypes. The rest of the listings are for professional positions requiring specific degrees in specific fields, the majority of which are medical. None of which are Associate degrees, most of which aren't even Bachelor degrees. Hell, they aren't even Masters degrees. Most of them are PhDs. If you want a nice, quiet, peaceful place to live and raise a family, and you have a major degree that took you until you were nearly 30 to earn, this is a place to look at!!!
In 2008, the local General Motors Foundry, at which my husband worked, closed its doors. Thanks to my husband's foresight, it came as no real surprise to us and he collected two whole weeks of unemployment before starting a new career as a 911 Dispatcher for our county. A steady job, a good job, but a blow to him as he was used to making quite a bit more money....it was about a 65% pay cut. Imagine cutting your household income by 65% gross. Just think about that for a minute. It was brutal. It took years to get used to. Only now are we on an even keel;, only now, all these years later, are we able to pay all our bills when they're due (more or less), buy gas, get groceries, and still be able to get other things that we WANT.
Yesterday, the other local production company, the one that this town became what it is because of, ALCOA, announced that it's not only NOT updating one of the plants, but closing it and the other one, to boot. There will be 487 people out of work by the end of the first quarter of 2016. And from what I'm hearing they are not offering buy outs or transfers or early retirements. My heart goes out to my friends and neighbors who are ALL affected by this, either directly or indirectly. This is a major blow to our community.
What this means to me, personally, is that the local economy is going to tank for a few years, at least. It means that there will be nearly 500 people, over the course of the next year, also looking for "good" jobs, then eventually looking for ANY jobs. Many of them will either move out of the area entirely, or live on a combination of the shit jobs available and assistance, through no fault of their own, but because that's what they'll be left with. This means that my chances of getting a "good" job just evaporated, in part because my need is much, much lesser than that of many of the people who are about to be looking for the same positions. My family doesn't NEED to me work; their families will need them to work. And that's that.
I'm so tired of the rejection letters. And I'm tired of never even getting that far with half the places I've applied at. I'm tired of hanging out with my dogs and cats, to the point that I talk to them and not only do they seem to understand me, but I'm starting to understand them, too. And I'm tired of not being able to get out and do much of anything, because the little pittance I was earning has dried up and I can't replace it, not even with part time work. It's time to suck it up and do that thing that I've always swore I wasn't going to do, then thought, well, maybe I'll do it when I retire, then kept it in the back of my head that it's something I'm ALREADY DOING and just don't have the paperwork to prove I'm capable and should be paid for it. It's time to go back to school.
{insert dramatic music in minor key}
My best friend said how exciting it is. I'm trying to look at it from her point of view, because her optimism is a good thing. Mostly I feel nauseous, with a good dollop of trepidation thrown in. When I told my husband he was just blown away and took a full day to formulate the serious questions about finances, timing, and just WHY. All of which I explained and addressed, only to leave him still freaked out, but with an understanding of it. Greeaaaaat. My father nodded and listened. My mother told me it was about time, offered to help if and when I needed help, which I'm sure I will. My son, at 15 in 10th grade, was nonplussed and said he's really unaffected by it. I explained he'd have to do his own college the hard way like everybody else, and he laughed and said, okay. My online group is full of well wishes and assurances that I've got this, which they're right....I totally do. And I love having the cheering section. I'm going to really need it over the next decade!! lol!!!
The thing is, if I'm going to subject myself to school at 42 years old, then I'm not going it in half measures. I'm not going to go get another degree in a field I have no interest in to get a job I hate doing for the rest of my working years. Oh, HELL no. I'm going to be a therapist. I'm going to get a Bachelor's degree, then I'm going to follow that bad boy up with a Master's degree, and then I'm going to take a few more years and get a PhD because that's how we roll. Because if I'm doing this thing, then I'm doing what I want and I'm taking it all the freaking way, this time.
So today I called my high school guidance office and tomorrow they will send out my transcripts. I called BSBI and because I graduated SO long ago, I had to print off a specific for to send them to request transcripts, which I did today, also. While I wait for these bits of paper to arrive at their destination, I will fill out the online application for transfer students. Despite it being literally 20 years, I am actually considered a transfer student. I'm hopeful that that means something from my previous college will, indeed, count toward this go round and reduce my overall time. I also plan to knock off courses during the summers, when possible. Hubby's union, CSEA, has a handful of various grants available, and there are all sorts of programs out there. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything covered and not have to take on more student loan debt....especially since I only just paid off the last ones. (Seriously, in May of 2015....)
It's possible that, due to various circumstances, I may have to wait a semester to start on campus classes, and may have to start with some online ones. There are things that I may need to get taken care of before I'm completely free to be a full time student. And if that's the case, so be it. But I'm doing this thing. The decision is made. Oh. My. GODS.
Where's my wine.....?
Over the years, I stopped working in retail and took on jobs with bankers hours. Eventually I worked at home, and eventually I was just a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). At different times I've picked up part time jobs for extra cash, and provided day care for the children of my friends over the years. But all the children are growing up, now, and don't need a nanny anymore. The thought of going back into retail makes me weep. Over the last four years I have been steadily applying for positions at three of the four local colleges, focusing on one in particular with the idea that my son would not have to pay tuition if I worked there but also because I really like it there. It's a beautiful place full of old buildings and tall trees and people who seem genuinely happy to be there. In all that time, I've had one interview. I have a folder of depressing rejection letters. It's just not happening. I have the skills they need and want, and I have the ability to communicate that to them, but I'm not getting through.
Over the last three to four months, since the last of the children I watched has gone on to other places, I have been looking at all the job sites. I've been watching the regular listings, watching local papers where smaller business like to advertise so they don't get bombarded with applicants, and asking around. Basically, there are a lot of opportunities in retail, in food service, and in direct people care such as CNA jobs and the ARC centers. These all pay very low level wages for what is actually not easy work, despite the common stereotypes. The rest of the listings are for professional positions requiring specific degrees in specific fields, the majority of which are medical. None of which are Associate degrees, most of which aren't even Bachelor degrees. Hell, they aren't even Masters degrees. Most of them are PhDs. If you want a nice, quiet, peaceful place to live and raise a family, and you have a major degree that took you until you were nearly 30 to earn, this is a place to look at!!!
In 2008, the local General Motors Foundry, at which my husband worked, closed its doors. Thanks to my husband's foresight, it came as no real surprise to us and he collected two whole weeks of unemployment before starting a new career as a 911 Dispatcher for our county. A steady job, a good job, but a blow to him as he was used to making quite a bit more money....it was about a 65% pay cut. Imagine cutting your household income by 65% gross. Just think about that for a minute. It was brutal. It took years to get used to. Only now are we on an even keel;, only now, all these years later, are we able to pay all our bills when they're due (more or less), buy gas, get groceries, and still be able to get other things that we WANT.
Yesterday, the other local production company, the one that this town became what it is because of, ALCOA, announced that it's not only NOT updating one of the plants, but closing it and the other one, to boot. There will be 487 people out of work by the end of the first quarter of 2016. And from what I'm hearing they are not offering buy outs or transfers or early retirements. My heart goes out to my friends and neighbors who are ALL affected by this, either directly or indirectly. This is a major blow to our community.
What this means to me, personally, is that the local economy is going to tank for a few years, at least. It means that there will be nearly 500 people, over the course of the next year, also looking for "good" jobs, then eventually looking for ANY jobs. Many of them will either move out of the area entirely, or live on a combination of the shit jobs available and assistance, through no fault of their own, but because that's what they'll be left with. This means that my chances of getting a "good" job just evaporated, in part because my need is much, much lesser than that of many of the people who are about to be looking for the same positions. My family doesn't NEED to me work; their families will need them to work. And that's that.
I'm so tired of the rejection letters. And I'm tired of never even getting that far with half the places I've applied at. I'm tired of hanging out with my dogs and cats, to the point that I talk to them and not only do they seem to understand me, but I'm starting to understand them, too. And I'm tired of not being able to get out and do much of anything, because the little pittance I was earning has dried up and I can't replace it, not even with part time work. It's time to suck it up and do that thing that I've always swore I wasn't going to do, then thought, well, maybe I'll do it when I retire, then kept it in the back of my head that it's something I'm ALREADY DOING and just don't have the paperwork to prove I'm capable and should be paid for it. It's time to go back to school.
{insert dramatic music in minor key}
My best friend said how exciting it is. I'm trying to look at it from her point of view, because her optimism is a good thing. Mostly I feel nauseous, with a good dollop of trepidation thrown in. When I told my husband he was just blown away and took a full day to formulate the serious questions about finances, timing, and just WHY. All of which I explained and addressed, only to leave him still freaked out, but with an understanding of it. Greeaaaaat. My father nodded and listened. My mother told me it was about time, offered to help if and when I needed help, which I'm sure I will. My son, at 15 in 10th grade, was nonplussed and said he's really unaffected by it. I explained he'd have to do his own college the hard way like everybody else, and he laughed and said, okay. My online group is full of well wishes and assurances that I've got this, which they're right....I totally do. And I love having the cheering section. I'm going to really need it over the next decade!! lol!!!
The thing is, if I'm going to subject myself to school at 42 years old, then I'm not going it in half measures. I'm not going to go get another degree in a field I have no interest in to get a job I hate doing for the rest of my working years. Oh, HELL no. I'm going to be a therapist. I'm going to get a Bachelor's degree, then I'm going to follow that bad boy up with a Master's degree, and then I'm going to take a few more years and get a PhD because that's how we roll. Because if I'm doing this thing, then I'm doing what I want and I'm taking it all the freaking way, this time.
So today I called my high school guidance office and tomorrow they will send out my transcripts. I called BSBI and because I graduated SO long ago, I had to print off a specific for to send them to request transcripts, which I did today, also. While I wait for these bits of paper to arrive at their destination, I will fill out the online application for transfer students. Despite it being literally 20 years, I am actually considered a transfer student. I'm hopeful that that means something from my previous college will, indeed, count toward this go round and reduce my overall time. I also plan to knock off courses during the summers, when possible. Hubby's union, CSEA, has a handful of various grants available, and there are all sorts of programs out there. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything covered and not have to take on more student loan debt....especially since I only just paid off the last ones. (Seriously, in May of 2015....)
It's possible that, due to various circumstances, I may have to wait a semester to start on campus classes, and may have to start with some online ones. There are things that I may need to get taken care of before I'm completely free to be a full time student. And if that's the case, so be it. But I'm doing this thing. The decision is made. Oh. My. GODS.
Where's my wine.....?
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Rule Number One: The Doctor Lies
Yeah, it's a vague Doctor Who reference that many readers aren't going to understand. The point, though, is that even the good guy lies, even the hero lies, even somebody we love, trust, and respect will lie. Everybody lies. Oh, now don't get your panties into a twist declaring that you're not a liar, that you are an honest person! You may be a very honest person, as people go, but you still tell lies. They may not be big lies, you may call them "White Lies", but that's a weak rationalization. A lie is any time that you don't tell the actual truth, no matter your intentions.
That outfit looks fine.
You don't look a day over 25.
We took Fido/Kitty to a farm.
Your art project looks wonderful.
That hair color looks totally natural.
Nobody will notice that zit.
I thought the speed limit was 55 mph through here.
No, I never tried pot.
I've never looked at porn.
I've never stolen anything.
I've never copied somebody's homework.
I've never cheated on a test.
I've never lied about my sources in the bibliography.
I've had many sexual conquests.
I'm practically a virgin.
No, I've never tried that.
Yes, I always wear my seatbelt.
Yes, I vacuumed under the couch.
The dog knocked it over and broke it.
I don't know how that happened.
I have no idea who ate the last cookie.
It's fine.
There's nothing to worry about.
I'm fine.
So how many of those sound familiar? Oh yeah.....and you can add to that list the lies you tell and the lies you have been told. Lies are just part of the fabric that holds society together. If we all went around telling the absolute truth every time we were ever asked something it would quickly descend into angry chaos. We have a variety of words for people who don't hold back and are completely honest, or try to be: blunt, harsh, rude, mean, asshole, and more. So let's not be holier-than-thou and pretend that lying is always a bad thing, that all lies are wrong. Who made up that rule, anyway? That all lies are bad and only total honesty is good? It's an impossible standard! All things in moderation, even honesty.
That outfit looks fine.
You don't look a day over 25.
We took Fido/Kitty to a farm.
Your art project looks wonderful.
That hair color looks totally natural.
Nobody will notice that zit.
I thought the speed limit was 55 mph through here.
No, I never tried pot.
I've never looked at porn.
I've never stolen anything.
I've never copied somebody's homework.
I've never cheated on a test.
I've never lied about my sources in the bibliography.
I've had many sexual conquests.
I'm practically a virgin.
No, I've never tried that.
Yes, I always wear my seatbelt.
Yes, I vacuumed under the couch.
The dog knocked it over and broke it.
I don't know how that happened.
I have no idea who ate the last cookie.
It's fine.
There's nothing to worry about.
I'm fine.
So how many of those sound familiar? Oh yeah.....and you can add to that list the lies you tell and the lies you have been told. Lies are just part of the fabric that holds society together. If we all went around telling the absolute truth every time we were ever asked something it would quickly descend into angry chaos. We have a variety of words for people who don't hold back and are completely honest, or try to be: blunt, harsh, rude, mean, asshole, and more. So let's not be holier-than-thou and pretend that lying is always a bad thing, that all lies are wrong. Who made up that rule, anyway? That all lies are bad and only total honesty is good? It's an impossible standard! All things in moderation, even honesty.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Confessions Of A Teenagers Mom
Yes, I'm a mom. In the online world when a woman declares herself a mother it seems that the automatic assumption is that she has small children around. Somehow, once they no longer need 24/7 monitoring we are expected to disappear, go away, sit quietly in the back of the mommy rooms and keep to ourselves.
HA! No way! I didn't go through nearly 15 years of motherhood to have some newbie tell me I'm old news! So here are a few things that I, and some other mothers of teenagers, have learned.
Oh, yes. Just because they can cook on the stove, work the washing machine, and know how to fix my computer when it's just beyond my skill, doesn't mean I am obsolete. Yes, he knows not to wear a blue shirt with black jeans. Yes, he knows how to mow the lawn. Yes, I haven't been able to help him with his homework in about six years now. There are still new challenges happening in his life. There is romance, something that is definitely not inborn and must be taught. There is the temptation of alcohol and drugs, something that you can't ever stop talking honestly about. There is the ever looming choices of colleges and career paths. There is sex, something that oh yes, kids his age are already doing, and whatever you believe, it's his body and his choice and not something you get to to control, so you'd better learn to talk about it so you can help him where you can. There is drama, always. They need us now as much as they ever did.
I am raising a young adult. My job is to help him to grow into a good and reasonably happy person. Of course we all set boundaries and with each age there are certain lines that cannot be crossed. Just like I wouldn't let him play GTA when he was seven years old, I will also not let him go to an unsupervised party at 15. There are absolutely boundaries, but I've found that laying down absolute rules is a level of rigidity that doesn't work well when dealing with teens. Now, it may work well for some parents, but I've also seen many teens rebel all the harder for being ruled with an iron fist at home. When we've come up against a boundary that my teen feels shouldn't apply to him anymore, we discuss it. He gets to state his reasons, and he has to listen to my reasons, and sometimes he gets to win the debate and stretch the boundaries. Which leads into...
Yes, you are the parent. Yes, you are older, wiser, you brought that *ahem* young person into this world, and yes it's your house, your rules (see above). However, repression and oppression are really poor ways to raise a human being and nurture their spirit, and help them grow into a complete adult type person. Growth requires change and you really need to allow yourself to be open to those changes. Never allowing your child to win an argument or a debate doesn't make you strong, it makes them resentful. If they're being bratty and childish then no, they lose no matter what the argument is, but if they discuss their objection like an adult and it's reasonable, you may want to consider letting them have a win.
Oh, I see your precious little person there, and oh yes, she's adorable. Yes, that new baby smell is just amazing. All those firsts you have in front of you are wonderful! Yes, one is a wonderful age, as is four, as is eight, and so on. They're ALL wonderful ages. But I've changed my share of diapers, I've scrubbed my share of rugs and furniture, I've done those years when you need five sets of bedding to avoid doing laundry every single stinking day. Oh yes, all those wonderful moments are worth every bit of the aggravation, but been there, done that, tyvm. I enjoyed those younger years when they were in front of me, and now I'll enjoy these teen years. Next I'll enjoy the young adult years. No, I don't miss any of it. I'm looking forward, not back.
You know how hard it is to find a reliable babysitter? I do. I remember. I remember having to schedule my life around naps and meals. I remember parking by cart carousels no matter how far away they were from the store so that I could put my son in his car seat AND return the cart without having to carry him through the parking lot or leave him unattended in a car. I remember only eating out at family type eateries and only when the child was in the right mood. I remember choosing to leave businesses when my child couldn't hold it together anymore. I remember years of visits with friends that always included children. I remember being chained to nursery school drop off and pick up times, to play date schedules, to school schedules, to extra curricular schedules, because I had to attend, I had to assist, I had to do my part, and I had to be the taxi for it all. I remember when a sick day meant either my own day was cancelled or trying to find one of those sitters who will take a sick child (HA HA!!). I remember taking a small human with me every. where. I. went. for about a dozen years. Including bathrooms. I remember play dates and sleepovers where I had to be present, awake, and aware at all times for supervision. I remember countless mornings being the alarm clock, the breakfast chef, and watching for the bus. I remember my son being intertwined in every aspect of my life, every decision, every move, every plan. Oh, I still play taxi, and I still supervise, I still take care of him when he's sick, but I no longer have to be a continual hovering (dare I say, helicoptering) presence in his moment to moment life. I am free!
As fascinating as it is to talk to a young child and even to teach them and show them new things and hear their wonder, their questions, their amazement as their little brains absorb the new material....it's equally as frustrating as you spend the next 2741 conversations rehashing all that same information over and over. And over. And over. And many thanks to Google and Wikipedia for helping us all out with the thousands of follow up questions inspired by our moment of insanity, er, I mean education. There are equally awkward conversations in the tween years as you learn how to answer honestly, but in some age appropriate ways, about the big questions. As you white knuckle the steering wheel as you appear to casually discuss sexual intercourse. As you tap dance around your own college years as you discuss the evils of drug use and alcohol abuse. Awkward hardly covers it. Beyond all that, though, is an entirely new realm of conversation. What you have is a young adult who is seeing many things in the world for the first time, or noticing things for the first time, and he has opinions, and questions, and can talk, really Talk, about thoughts and feelings. Things like presidential elections, gun laws, abortion rights, floods in Haiti, drought in California, war in Iraq, genocide in Rwanda. You get to see a young mind interpret all the input on things and watch opinions form and discuss, as adults, all sorts of topics. It's got the "Where are Max and Ruby's parents?" convo beats hands down.
We all know those dreaded words, "Mommy, can I help?" This one's a no-brainer. When they reach a certain age they are actually capable of helping. They aren't as happy about it, granted, but they're much better at it.
If you think that your child has nothing to teach you, more power to you. This afternoon mine explained what Reddit is to me. Yeah....I Googled it, but it made a lot more sense when he explained it.
Well, I was going to talk about the sheer dollar amount that I save in printing pictures, but then I realized that those savings are eaten up by the locust that is a teenager when he hits the kitchen. So never mind.
When you've got a smaller child around you don't get to have things like hobbies, spa days, or time to yourself. Oh, you can try....but it becomes actual work as you either go through the babysitter seek-and-find trying to get just a few hours to yourself, for which you may then feel guilty, or you bring your child with you. Taking your child with you while you try to have your own fun is some kind of oxymoron....it ain't gonna happen. It's like those Give A Mouse A Cookie books and it just spirals into you supervising your child as they play at your hobby and you look longingly on. Now, once you've got a teenager on your hands they either have zero interest in being around you so you're free to do your own thing, or if they DO want to hang with you for a bit, they are fully capable of doing things on their own. Whether it's photography, scrapbooking, fishing, gardening, hiking, origami, etc., they don't need you to hold their hand anymore. Now, some moms may find that thought somewhat disturbing, the idea that their baby doesn't NEED them anymore, but see #1 above and chill. And enjoy a glass of wine while you read a book, because you can do that now!
HA! No way! I didn't go through nearly 15 years of motherhood to have some newbie tell me I'm old news! So here are a few things that I, and some other mothers of teenagers, have learned.
1. They still need us.
Oh, yes. Just because they can cook on the stove, work the washing machine, and know how to fix my computer when it's just beyond my skill, doesn't mean I am obsolete. Yes, he knows not to wear a blue shirt with black jeans. Yes, he knows how to mow the lawn. Yes, I haven't been able to help him with his homework in about six years now. There are still new challenges happening in his life. There is romance, something that is definitely not inborn and must be taught. There is the temptation of alcohol and drugs, something that you can't ever stop talking honestly about. There is the ever looming choices of colleges and career paths. There is sex, something that oh yes, kids his age are already doing, and whatever you believe, it's his body and his choice and not something you get to to control, so you'd better learn to talk about it so you can help him where you can. There is drama, always. They need us now as much as they ever did.
2. There are no Rules.
I am raising a young adult. My job is to help him to grow into a good and reasonably happy person. Of course we all set boundaries and with each age there are certain lines that cannot be crossed. Just like I wouldn't let him play GTA when he was seven years old, I will also not let him go to an unsupervised party at 15. There are absolutely boundaries, but I've found that laying down absolute rules is a level of rigidity that doesn't work well when dealing with teens. Now, it may work well for some parents, but I've also seen many teens rebel all the harder for being ruled with an iron fist at home. When we've come up against a boundary that my teen feels shouldn't apply to him anymore, we discuss it. He gets to state his reasons, and he has to listen to my reasons, and sometimes he gets to win the debate and stretch the boundaries. Which leads into...
3. You have to let them Win some.
Yes, you are the parent. Yes, you are older, wiser, you brought that *ahem* young person into this world, and yes it's your house, your rules (see above). However, repression and oppression are really poor ways to raise a human being and nurture their spirit, and help them grow into a complete adult type person. Growth requires change and you really need to allow yourself to be open to those changes. Never allowing your child to win an argument or a debate doesn't make you strong, it makes them resentful. If they're being bratty and childish then no, they lose no matter what the argument is, but if they discuss their objection like an adult and it's reasonable, you may want to consider letting them have a win.
4. No, I really do not miss the younger years.
Oh, I see your precious little person there, and oh yes, she's adorable. Yes, that new baby smell is just amazing. All those firsts you have in front of you are wonderful! Yes, one is a wonderful age, as is four, as is eight, and so on. They're ALL wonderful ages. But I've changed my share of diapers, I've scrubbed my share of rugs and furniture, I've done those years when you need five sets of bedding to avoid doing laundry every single stinking day. Oh yes, all those wonderful moments are worth every bit of the aggravation, but been there, done that, tyvm. I enjoyed those younger years when they were in front of me, and now I'll enjoy these teen years. Next I'll enjoy the young adult years. No, I don't miss any of it. I'm looking forward, not back.
5. I LOVE the freedom!
You know how hard it is to find a reliable babysitter? I do. I remember. I remember having to schedule my life around naps and meals. I remember parking by cart carousels no matter how far away they were from the store so that I could put my son in his car seat AND return the cart without having to carry him through the parking lot or leave him unattended in a car. I remember only eating out at family type eateries and only when the child was in the right mood. I remember choosing to leave businesses when my child couldn't hold it together anymore. I remember years of visits with friends that always included children. I remember being chained to nursery school drop off and pick up times, to play date schedules, to school schedules, to extra curricular schedules, because I had to attend, I had to assist, I had to do my part, and I had to be the taxi for it all. I remember when a sick day meant either my own day was cancelled or trying to find one of those sitters who will take a sick child (HA HA!!). I remember taking a small human with me every. where. I. went. for about a dozen years. Including bathrooms. I remember play dates and sleepovers where I had to be present, awake, and aware at all times for supervision. I remember countless mornings being the alarm clock, the breakfast chef, and watching for the bus. I remember my son being intertwined in every aspect of my life, every decision, every move, every plan. Oh, I still play taxi, and I still supervise, I still take care of him when he's sick, but I no longer have to be a continual hovering (dare I say, helicoptering) presence in his moment to moment life. I am free!
6. The conversation is much better.
As fascinating as it is to talk to a young child and even to teach them and show them new things and hear their wonder, their questions, their amazement as their little brains absorb the new material....it's equally as frustrating as you spend the next 2741 conversations rehashing all that same information over and over. And over. And over. And many thanks to Google and Wikipedia for helping us all out with the thousands of follow up questions inspired by our moment of insanity, er, I mean education. There are equally awkward conversations in the tween years as you learn how to answer honestly, but in some age appropriate ways, about the big questions. As you white knuckle the steering wheel as you appear to casually discuss sexual intercourse. As you tap dance around your own college years as you discuss the evils of drug use and alcohol abuse. Awkward hardly covers it. Beyond all that, though, is an entirely new realm of conversation. What you have is a young adult who is seeing many things in the world for the first time, or noticing things for the first time, and he has opinions, and questions, and can talk, really Talk, about thoughts and feelings. Things like presidential elections, gun laws, abortion rights, floods in Haiti, drought in California, war in Iraq, genocide in Rwanda. You get to see a young mind interpret all the input on things and watch opinions form and discuss, as adults, all sorts of topics. It's got the "Where are Max and Ruby's parents?" convo beats hands down.
7. Helping is actually helpful.
We all know those dreaded words, "Mommy, can I help?" This one's a no-brainer. When they reach a certain age they are actually capable of helping. They aren't as happy about it, granted, but they're much better at it.
8. They can teach us.
If you think that your child has nothing to teach you, more power to you. This afternoon mine explained what Reddit is to me. Yeah....I Googled it, but it made a lot more sense when he explained it.
9. Film/Picture Processing
Well, I was going to talk about the sheer dollar amount that I save in printing pictures, but then I realized that those savings are eaten up by the locust that is a teenager when he hits the kitchen. So never mind.
10. Selfish Pursuits
When you've got a smaller child around you don't get to have things like hobbies, spa days, or time to yourself. Oh, you can try....but it becomes actual work as you either go through the babysitter seek-and-find trying to get just a few hours to yourself, for which you may then feel guilty, or you bring your child with you. Taking your child with you while you try to have your own fun is some kind of oxymoron....it ain't gonna happen. It's like those Give A Mouse A Cookie books and it just spirals into you supervising your child as they play at your hobby and you look longingly on. Now, once you've got a teenager on your hands they either have zero interest in being around you so you're free to do your own thing, or if they DO want to hang with you for a bit, they are fully capable of doing things on their own. Whether it's photography, scrapbooking, fishing, gardening, hiking, origami, etc., they don't need you to hold their hand anymore. Now, some moms may find that thought somewhat disturbing, the idea that their baby doesn't NEED them anymore, but see #1 above and chill. And enjoy a glass of wine while you read a book, because you can do that now!
Florida Tollbooth Company Made Out As Bad Guy on Social Media
So in recent news, a Florida tollbooth company has been dragged through social media as the bad guy when they did everything they reasonably could to keep a senior worker employed despite his failing skills at his job.
The Gasparilla Island Bridge Authority recently had to terminate 77-year old Vladislav 'Sam' Samsonov of Boca Grande from his position as a full time worker at the Boca Grande Causeway. Mr. Samsonov, who worked the job for 29 years, had mistakenly undercharged a vehicle and to compensate he put the balance of the fees into the till out of his own pocket. This was not the first time that this had occurred and he had been warned more than once by his superiors about his actions. When the same mistake occurred this time, having not heeded the prior multiple warnings, his employers did not outright terminate him but offered him instead a reduced schedule. Mr. Samsonov declined the opportunity to keep his job at the reduced hours and the company was forced to terminate him.
The story was shared from the point of view of Mr. Samsonov being a victim on social media and has now spread across the internet. People in the Gasparilla Island area are sad to see a longtime fixture removed and rather than really look at the reasons why, they assume that the point of view put forth in online media is the only one. There have been threats and vulgar displays as well as outrage and support. The Bridge Authority is completely unable to comment in any way due to national privacy laws and are completely at the mercy of whatever supporters of Mr. Samsonov wish to claim about them to the internet world. They aren't able to defend themselves by explaining that the employee was making regular mistakes, that he was trying to cover up his mistakes, that he had been warned more than once about accuracy on the job, and that he was offered a solution that would have allowed him to keep his job but he declined.
There's nothing quite like being judged and found guilty in the court of internet social media when you can't even defend yourself against the mistaken assumptions.
The Gasparilla Island Bridge Authority recently had to terminate 77-year old Vladislav 'Sam' Samsonov of Boca Grande from his position as a full time worker at the Boca Grande Causeway. Mr. Samsonov, who worked the job for 29 years, had mistakenly undercharged a vehicle and to compensate he put the balance of the fees into the till out of his own pocket. This was not the first time that this had occurred and he had been warned more than once by his superiors about his actions. When the same mistake occurred this time, having not heeded the prior multiple warnings, his employers did not outright terminate him but offered him instead a reduced schedule. Mr. Samsonov declined the opportunity to keep his job at the reduced hours and the company was forced to terminate him.
The story was shared from the point of view of Mr. Samsonov being a victim on social media and has now spread across the internet. People in the Gasparilla Island area are sad to see a longtime fixture removed and rather than really look at the reasons why, they assume that the point of view put forth in online media is the only one. There have been threats and vulgar displays as well as outrage and support. The Bridge Authority is completely unable to comment in any way due to national privacy laws and are completely at the mercy of whatever supporters of Mr. Samsonov wish to claim about them to the internet world. They aren't able to defend themselves by explaining that the employee was making regular mistakes, that he was trying to cover up his mistakes, that he had been warned more than once about accuracy on the job, and that he was offered a solution that would have allowed him to keep his job but he declined.
There's nothing quite like being judged and found guilty in the court of internet social media when you can't even defend yourself against the mistaken assumptions.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Zombies, and Aliens, and Asteroids; Oh, My!
So I don't know if it's just because it's a topic I'm interested in that I'm seeing all sorts of documentaries and B movies about various ways the world can end, or if there's some uptick lately in that genre, but there sure are a lot of ideas out there! Some we could survive, some probably not.
If an asteroid hits the earth the size of the one that killed off the dinosaurs (assuming that that really is what killed off the dinosaurs) would we survive it? That world's end idea is very plausible. After all, there is plenty of evidence that this large rock we're riding has been bombarded over time with a little of this, a little of that, maybe even another planet at one point. How devastating it would be to humanity is entirely dependent upon the size of the rock that hits us, of course. Will Bruce Willis be there to save us from this doom if it comes our way? Well, let's hope we don't have to find out.
There are some scary bugs out there, these days, that could reach epidemic proportions so easily it makes ones head swim to really read up on it. I don't know how a person could even study that kind of thing and stay sane. Reading The Coming Plague is enough to make you want to crawl under your bed and stay there a few decades. The Influenza epidemic of 1918 was horrific and watching documentaries on that is truly staggering, thinking of the sheer number of people who died from "just the flu". Will a shot help? Who can really say. What if some monster in the Middle East weaponizes Small Pox? That's a truly terrifying thought. Watch one, just ONE documentary on what Small Pox does to a person and how easily it was transmitted all on its own, then consider it weaponized and made even more deadly? Eek! Let's just not! The Black Death was another lovely little thing to read about. Bubonic Plague? Rabies? Some new bug sneaking out of the rainforests we're so intent on destroying? Yeah, probably not something that would destroy all human life, but bad enough you don't want to think about it.
Aliens!? Please. If some kind of extra terrestrial life form is able to travel through space to arrive at our planet and they want us dead, then we're dead. If they are capable of interstellar travel then they're capable of laughing off whatever we could throw at them. So not even really worth thinking about. Will Smith is awesome, but I tend to think we wouldn't get that lucky.
How about The Rapture? Well, I've watched quite a few documentaries on that, too, and read about it my entire life. I think it's about one one-hundredth of a percent as likely to happen as the aliens showing up and equally as hopeless if it does happen, to survive, so even less worthy of serious thought.
Nuclear war. I grew up with that threat. That one feels like a very likely possibility, probably because I have memories of how to hide under my desk or file into a brick lined hallway and duck and cover en masse. Realistically, a nuclear war would not destroy all of humanity. Somebody would survive, certainly. Who that might be would depend greatly on who sent the bombs and where they aimed them. During the Cold War I grew up just a mile or so away from a secondary nuclear target, so I was always assured that I wouldn't survive to have to worry about it. Funny, the things we grew up with that our kids just really couldn't possibly understand.
Volcanic Winter/Climate Change is another one that a lot of B movies are based on. This one isn't even unlikely. Climate Change is real, despite people's attempts at debating it. And while it may be debatable how influential mankind has been on it's speed, the climate doesn't really care who's right or who's wrong. It's going to do what it's going to do. Whether the poles shift, or the salinity of the ocean changes global weather patterns, or some other scenario that we can only imagine and hope never comes our way, mankind would very likely survive in some form. Would I, personally? Well, for a while maybe. How long would really depend on so many things that nobody can really say for sure. These days most people try to be prepared to live a good week without power or outside assistance. After that it's just a matter of time.
There are so many ways that our world could end. Most of them wouldn't be the end of The World, because the world itself would go on without us like a dog that's just shaken off a case of fleas. I don't think we'd be missed all that much! Most of the scenarios don't seem like they'd kill off all of humanity, but certainly most of it, and certainly change the way that humans survive on this world. What's the most likely world changing disaster coming? Who knows....I think it's very possibly Yellowstone erupting, but the pole shift could beat that to the punch. What do you think? Do you think you'd survive for a while? Or maybe for the long haul? How prepared are you for bad things to happen? How long could your household survive if civilization around us collapsed? Or is it the furthest thing from your mind?
If an asteroid hits the earth the size of the one that killed off the dinosaurs (assuming that that really is what killed off the dinosaurs) would we survive it? That world's end idea is very plausible. After all, there is plenty of evidence that this large rock we're riding has been bombarded over time with a little of this, a little of that, maybe even another planet at one point. How devastating it would be to humanity is entirely dependent upon the size of the rock that hits us, of course. Will Bruce Willis be there to save us from this doom if it comes our way? Well, let's hope we don't have to find out.
There are some scary bugs out there, these days, that could reach epidemic proportions so easily it makes ones head swim to really read up on it. I don't know how a person could even study that kind of thing and stay sane. Reading The Coming Plague is enough to make you want to crawl under your bed and stay there a few decades. The Influenza epidemic of 1918 was horrific and watching documentaries on that is truly staggering, thinking of the sheer number of people who died from "just the flu". Will a shot help? Who can really say. What if some monster in the Middle East weaponizes Small Pox? That's a truly terrifying thought. Watch one, just ONE documentary on what Small Pox does to a person and how easily it was transmitted all on its own, then consider it weaponized and made even more deadly? Eek! Let's just not! The Black Death was another lovely little thing to read about. Bubonic Plague? Rabies? Some new bug sneaking out of the rainforests we're so intent on destroying? Yeah, probably not something that would destroy all human life, but bad enough you don't want to think about it.
Aliens!? Please. If some kind of extra terrestrial life form is able to travel through space to arrive at our planet and they want us dead, then we're dead. If they are capable of interstellar travel then they're capable of laughing off whatever we could throw at them. So not even really worth thinking about. Will Smith is awesome, but I tend to think we wouldn't get that lucky.
How about The Rapture? Well, I've watched quite a few documentaries on that, too, and read about it my entire life. I think it's about one one-hundredth of a percent as likely to happen as the aliens showing up and equally as hopeless if it does happen, to survive, so even less worthy of serious thought.
Nuclear war. I grew up with that threat. That one feels like a very likely possibility, probably because I have memories of how to hide under my desk or file into a brick lined hallway and duck and cover en masse. Realistically, a nuclear war would not destroy all of humanity. Somebody would survive, certainly. Who that might be would depend greatly on who sent the bombs and where they aimed them. During the Cold War I grew up just a mile or so away from a secondary nuclear target, so I was always assured that I wouldn't survive to have to worry about it. Funny, the things we grew up with that our kids just really couldn't possibly understand.
Volcanic Winter/Climate Change is another one that a lot of B movies are based on. This one isn't even unlikely. Climate Change is real, despite people's attempts at debating it. And while it may be debatable how influential mankind has been on it's speed, the climate doesn't really care who's right or who's wrong. It's going to do what it's going to do. Whether the poles shift, or the salinity of the ocean changes global weather patterns, or some other scenario that we can only imagine and hope never comes our way, mankind would very likely survive in some form. Would I, personally? Well, for a while maybe. How long would really depend on so many things that nobody can really say for sure. These days most people try to be prepared to live a good week without power or outside assistance. After that it's just a matter of time.
There are so many ways that our world could end. Most of them wouldn't be the end of The World, because the world itself would go on without us like a dog that's just shaken off a case of fleas. I don't think we'd be missed all that much! Most of the scenarios don't seem like they'd kill off all of humanity, but certainly most of it, and certainly change the way that humans survive on this world. What's the most likely world changing disaster coming? Who knows....I think it's very possibly Yellowstone erupting, but the pole shift could beat that to the punch. What do you think? Do you think you'd survive for a while? Or maybe for the long haul? How prepared are you for bad things to happen? How long could your household survive if civilization around us collapsed? Or is it the furthest thing from your mind?
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Saille's Sales Fairy Houses -- A New Hobby
So I've started on a new hobby that I'm really enjoying -- I may even make a little side money off it. I'm making fairy houses for fairy gardens. I was playing around on Pinterest and, like so many of us, saw something and said to myself, "Self, I can do that!" Well, that something was a stone fairy house. I learned when we built our fire pit that I have a natural talent assembling rocks, so gluing small stones to a little house is actually fun for me. It's like putting together a little puzzle!
The first one I made was a lot of work. The learning curve was definitely steep at first! Hubby helped me with the door and I didn't put any windows in it, the hinges got glue all over them, and it's just all around too big for my taste and not cute at all. But somebody may like it. I put it up for sale on some local Facebook sites and got plenty of likes and hits, but no bites.
The first one I made was a lot of work. The learning curve was definitely steep at first! Hubby helped me with the door and I didn't put any windows in it, the hinges got glue all over them, and it's just all around too big for my taste and not cute at all. But somebody may like it. I put it up for sale on some local Facebook sites and got plenty of likes and hits, but no bites.
Then I picked up a few supplies at my local Dollar Tree and did a little more reading around Etsy and Pinterest about how people were assembling these and got busy. I made one for my soon to be sister-in-law Miranda next and so far it's been my favorite. She had a birthday so I was thrilled that it came out as cute as it did. I wasn't there when she received it so I can only hope that she actually likes it! lolz!
With a little success under my belt I figured I'd hit another February birthday and make one for my Aunt, as well. This one was well liked by my husband (who often has better taste than I do!).
As Valentine's Day was right then I also made one for my mother, based on the one for my aunt. I don't seem to be able to find a picture of that one, of course, but it was accented with yellow instead of blue and otherwise very similar.
My son's mid-winter school break was approaching and he was going to Ottawa to spend a long weekend with his aunt and uncle who live there. I've never been to their house, so I just tried something completely different. I don't think that either of them garden at all or have an outdoorsy kind of motif so I went with something brighter. I was informed that some of the stones fell from the spire and were super glued back on. As they were pretty solid I'm guessing that my teenage son didn't take care with the house, but hopefully it wasn't terribly mangled. The Z on the door is their initial.
So now that I had various gifts out of the way I was ready to try my hand at selling! I haven't sold any yet, but I did just start this within the last two weeks, and only opened my Etsy shop, SaillesSales, last evening, so it's still pretty early. ;) All the fairy houses I find out there are either mass produced or well up over a hundred dollars and cost prohibitive for anybody who isn't devoted to the idea of a fairy garden but thinks it's a cute idea. All gardens need a fairy, you know. And what better way to coax a fairy to bless your garden than to provide an attractive home! When the snow is gone, sometime around Memorial Weekend, and I can get into the woods, I'll be harvesting acorns and making lanterns and other assorted cute things. So follow my Etsy page (I assume you're already following my blog, right?!) and keep your eyes open!
St. Patrick's Day Fairy Garden House, $35
Blue Dragonfly House, $35
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SaillesSales
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Reasons Why I Am A Bad Mommy
1. I did not breast feed my son.
2. I did not co-sleep with my son.
3. I did not extended rear face my son's car seat.
4. I did not ever own a Moby wrap or anything similar.
5. I did allow my son to sleep in his swing until he outgrew it.
6. I put rice cereal into the baby bottle and widened the hole in the nipple.
7. I started my son on cows milk at only 10 months old.
8. I have never owned a dish washer and have never once boiled anything to disinfect it.
9. More than once I cleaned a fallen pacifier off with my own mouth then gave it back to the baby.
10. I used the television as a babysitter (THANK YOU Bear in the Big Blue House, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and The Wiggles!!)
11. I did not read to my son any more than absolutely necessary.
12. I almost never bought hand sanitizer.
13. I never use antibacterial soaps or detergents.
14. I let my son jump on the couch.
15. I did not leap to my son's defense when other kids picked on him.
16. I did make him apologize for picking on other kids.
17. I used bribery and babysitters to get him toilet trained.
18. I cut his hair myself until he was old enough to object.
19. I never had a birthday party where his entire class was invited.
20. I never made amazing party favors for the friends who were invited to the birthday parties.
21. I didn't plan activities for any gathering of his friends but just send them outside.
22. I did not hover by a window or on the deck while he played outside.
23. I started letting him take unsupervised baths at age four.
24. I did not let him wear clothes he picked out himself if they didn't match or were ugly.
25. I bought his clothes second hand as much as humanly possible.
26. I let him wear Abercrombie & Fitch even after they refused to make clothes in larger sizes.
27. When he cried I told him to go to bed because I didn't want to listen to it.
28. I didn't allow whining in my home.
29. I told him that boys were supposed to get dirty.
30. I told him that you never, ever hit a girl.
31. I told him that if you need to defend yourself or somebody else to fight and I'd stand behind him.
32. I took teacher's sides against him and if he got in trouble at school he was in trouble at home.
33. I forgot the sunscreen.
34. I swore in front of him and told him he couldn't say those same words until he was 18.
35. I let him taste wine, beer, and champagne on occasions where we were having some.
36. When he started riding the school bus I sat him down and told him all the 'bad' words so that he would know what they were and what not to repeat.
37. When we went to the park I sat on a bench and read a book and paid very little attention to what he was doing.
38. I didn't want to build a snowman.
39. When he swatted a cat and it swatted back I told him he deserved it. .
40. I didn't let him manhandle any pets or animals.
41. I didn't have regular chores or lists.
42. I did not curb my road rage-isms in front of him.
43. I was honest with him about the household income, the bills, and the times when we struggled with money and what that meant.
44. I let him fend for himself for meals if I don't feel like cooking.
45. He first learned how to use the stove at age eight.
46. I told him in 6th grade that there was no college fund and what scholarships are and what he needs to do to get one.
47. I bought him his first cell phone at eight years old in the 5th grade.
48. I got him his first smart phone at 13.
49. I don't snoop his texts, IMs, or browser history.
50. I got him his own debit card to use at 14 years old.
51. I took him to his first concert at 13 years old and didn't attend it with him.
52. I showed him how to make coffee and what a wonderful thing it is on groggy mornings.
53. I got him his first gaming system (X-box) when he started regular school.
54. I let him hang out in town with his friends after school and pick him up at dinner time.
55. I answer his questions honestly, no matter what they are.
56. I don't dictate to him a specific bedtime.
57. He started staying home alone in the house as young as age 10.
58. At 14 I would absolutely leave him home alone for days at a time.
59. We bought him his first gun at age 12 and taught him how to shoot it.
60. He wanted a pocket knife, we gave him a pocket knife.
61. When he thought zippos were cool we gave him one.
62. There are no parental controls on the cable and he has it set up in his room.
63. I let him be friends with whomever he wants, only reminding him that if one gets caught doing something the entire group will be charged so be aware.
64. When I need money for something and he has some I borrow it.
65. I don't clean his room for him.
66. I don't make him clean his room, other than dishes and dirty clothes.
67. I don't make him walk his dogs.
68. I let him play rated M video games.
69. I let him watch rated R movies.
70. I let him make his own mistakes.
Oh, there are more, I'm sure! Now-a-days I see the term "Free Range Parenting" and that's a pretty good description of my style of parenting, the opposite of a "Helicopter Parent" anyway. My goals with my son are to raise him to independent, self sufficient, confident, to possess common sense, to be level headed, and to be a productive member of society. So far, 14 years into the biggest experiment of my life, I have a young man who has found ways to make his own money, balances his own budget with his debit card, is in the honors programs in math, science, and art, has many good friends who I'm happy to have in our lives, has many other more casual friends, has had some nice girlfriends. He is adored by his dogs, is buddies with the little guy I babysit and pretty much any other small child he comes into contact with, and he can have a real conversation with any adult on a variety of interesting topics and not be out of his depth or feel intimidated. He is responsible, knows how to cook and clean, is respectful and honest, and doesn't sneak. He is extensively fluent in sarcasm and chaffes when he's treated as if he must be inherently stupid or rotten just because he's a teenager. He's not one who needs to act bullish to feel manly but doesn't take anybody's shit, either. He is healthy, has only seasonal allergies, and is a healthy weight. He pays attention to nutrition because I am diabetic and he knows that he could be genetically predisposed to it.
So all in all, so far, I think I'm doing okay despite all the many, many bad mommy things I've done and plan to continue doing. You know, like teaching him how to drive this summer at 14 though he can't get a permit until he's 16. Or leaving him to house and dog sit while hubby and I go away for a weekend this summer sometime.
I am very proud of my son. The young man that he is is as much his own character as mine and my husband's influences on him. It's both nature and nurture.
---------------------------------
So tell me, Gentle Reader, what things have you done or not done that in today's era of Mommy Wars puts you in the bad parent category?
Spill your secrets, my friends!!! Let's start the rebellion together!
2. I did not co-sleep with my son.
3. I did not extended rear face my son's car seat.
4. I did not ever own a Moby wrap or anything similar.
5. I did allow my son to sleep in his swing until he outgrew it.
6. I put rice cereal into the baby bottle and widened the hole in the nipple.
7. I started my son on cows milk at only 10 months old.
8. I have never owned a dish washer and have never once boiled anything to disinfect it.
9. More than once I cleaned a fallen pacifier off with my own mouth then gave it back to the baby.
10. I used the television as a babysitter (THANK YOU Bear in the Big Blue House, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and The Wiggles!!)
11. I did not read to my son any more than absolutely necessary.
12. I almost never bought hand sanitizer.
13. I never use antibacterial soaps or detergents.
14. I let my son jump on the couch.
15. I did not leap to my son's defense when other kids picked on him.
16. I did make him apologize for picking on other kids.
17. I used bribery and babysitters to get him toilet trained.
18. I cut his hair myself until he was old enough to object.
19. I never had a birthday party where his entire class was invited.
20. I never made amazing party favors for the friends who were invited to the birthday parties.
21. I didn't plan activities for any gathering of his friends but just send them outside.
22. I did not hover by a window or on the deck while he played outside.
23. I started letting him take unsupervised baths at age four.
24. I did not let him wear clothes he picked out himself if they didn't match or were ugly.
25. I bought his clothes second hand as much as humanly possible.
26. I let him wear Abercrombie & Fitch even after they refused to make clothes in larger sizes.
27. When he cried I told him to go to bed because I didn't want to listen to it.
28. I didn't allow whining in my home.
29. I told him that boys were supposed to get dirty.
30. I told him that you never, ever hit a girl.
31. I told him that if you need to defend yourself or somebody else to fight and I'd stand behind him.
32. I took teacher's sides against him and if he got in trouble at school he was in trouble at home.
33. I forgot the sunscreen.
34. I swore in front of him and told him he couldn't say those same words until he was 18.
35. I let him taste wine, beer, and champagne on occasions where we were having some.
36. When he started riding the school bus I sat him down and told him all the 'bad' words so that he would know what they were and what not to repeat.
37. When we went to the park I sat on a bench and read a book and paid very little attention to what he was doing.
38. I didn't want to build a snowman.
39. When he swatted a cat and it swatted back I told him he deserved it. .
40. I didn't let him manhandle any pets or animals.
41. I didn't have regular chores or lists.
42. I did not curb my road rage-isms in front of him.
43. I was honest with him about the household income, the bills, and the times when we struggled with money and what that meant.
44. I let him fend for himself for meals if I don't feel like cooking.
45. He first learned how to use the stove at age eight.
46. I told him in 6th grade that there was no college fund and what scholarships are and what he needs to do to get one.
47. I bought him his first cell phone at eight years old in the 5th grade.
48. I got him his first smart phone at 13.
49. I don't snoop his texts, IMs, or browser history.
50. I got him his own debit card to use at 14 years old.
51. I took him to his first concert at 13 years old and didn't attend it with him.
52. I showed him how to make coffee and what a wonderful thing it is on groggy mornings.
53. I got him his first gaming system (X-box) when he started regular school.
54. I let him hang out in town with his friends after school and pick him up at dinner time.
55. I answer his questions honestly, no matter what they are.
56. I don't dictate to him a specific bedtime.
57. He started staying home alone in the house as young as age 10.
58. At 14 I would absolutely leave him home alone for days at a time.
59. We bought him his first gun at age 12 and taught him how to shoot it.
60. He wanted a pocket knife, we gave him a pocket knife.
61. When he thought zippos were cool we gave him one.
62. There are no parental controls on the cable and he has it set up in his room.
63. I let him be friends with whomever he wants, only reminding him that if one gets caught doing something the entire group will be charged so be aware.
64. When I need money for something and he has some I borrow it.
65. I don't clean his room for him.
66. I don't make him clean his room, other than dishes and dirty clothes.
67. I don't make him walk his dogs.
68. I let him play rated M video games.
69. I let him watch rated R movies.
70. I let him make his own mistakes.
Oh, there are more, I'm sure! Now-a-days I see the term "Free Range Parenting" and that's a pretty good description of my style of parenting, the opposite of a "Helicopter Parent" anyway. My goals with my son are to raise him to independent, self sufficient, confident, to possess common sense, to be level headed, and to be a productive member of society. So far, 14 years into the biggest experiment of my life, I have a young man who has found ways to make his own money, balances his own budget with his debit card, is in the honors programs in math, science, and art, has many good friends who I'm happy to have in our lives, has many other more casual friends, has had some nice girlfriends. He is adored by his dogs, is buddies with the little guy I babysit and pretty much any other small child he comes into contact with, and he can have a real conversation with any adult on a variety of interesting topics and not be out of his depth or feel intimidated. He is responsible, knows how to cook and clean, is respectful and honest, and doesn't sneak. He is extensively fluent in sarcasm and chaffes when he's treated as if he must be inherently stupid or rotten just because he's a teenager. He's not one who needs to act bullish to feel manly but doesn't take anybody's shit, either. He is healthy, has only seasonal allergies, and is a healthy weight. He pays attention to nutrition because I am diabetic and he knows that he could be genetically predisposed to it.
So all in all, so far, I think I'm doing okay despite all the many, many bad mommy things I've done and plan to continue doing. You know, like teaching him how to drive this summer at 14 though he can't get a permit until he's 16. Or leaving him to house and dog sit while hubby and I go away for a weekend this summer sometime.
I am very proud of my son. The young man that he is is as much his own character as mine and my husband's influences on him. It's both nature and nurture.
---------------------------------
So tell me, Gentle Reader, what things have you done or not done that in today's era of Mommy Wars puts you in the bad parent category?
Spill your secrets, my friends!!! Let's start the rebellion together!
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Dear Nice Guys
Here is my inspiration for today's rant:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/leo-steven/2014/04/dear-girls-who-are-finally-ready-to-date-nice-guys-we-dont-want-you-anymore/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Nice Guys Who Are (Finally) Ready to Date Nice Girls: We Don't Want You Anymore.
You had your chance to ask us out on a date. You remember when that hot girl you wanted so badly finally went out on a date with you? You were so excited! You went on and on to me about how amazing the date was going to be, how you were going to knock her socks off with your good manners, display of romance, and willingness to spend every penny you possess on her. Somehow, you and she were going to be two completely different people on this amazing date and live happily ever after. You were going to be somebody she found interesting and fun and she was going to develop depth and a personality. Do you remember?
Do you remember how brutally crushed you were when, at the end of the night, reality came crashing down crushing your hopes and dreams into the dust. Not only were you still you, but she was still the same person she's always been. Only now you were seeing her for who she really was all along. You were finally seeing past her perky 36C breasts and well displayed cleavage, her well trimmed waist that was always easy to glimpse when she moved around because her tops were barely long enough to reach the bottom of her waist, her round and firm ass that she worked to keep tight and firm. You were finally seeing that underneath that jail bait body she was really just a shallow, self involved jerk who didn't deserve you at all. At least, that's what I thought you were seeing.
Do you remember whose shoulder you cried on? Do you remember the hours you spent lamenting to me that life sucked, that your life, in particular, sucked, and that you were going to be forever alone? I remember. I held your hand, I gave you my shoulder, I was there for you at all hours any time you were feeling down and needed to vent. And vent you did. The mantra of the rejected nice guy became your life. You were going to show her; you were going to show all the girls like her! At first I thought that your anger meant you were finally moving on and were making progress. Maybe, just maybe, you would finally SEE ME! Maybe now that you finally saw her, you could lose those rose tinted glasses and see me for something other than wallpaper, or a D&D buddy, a friend, a Nice Girl. Ha! Little did I know. You still didn't see her for the person that she was, you only saw a beautiful girl who you believed you 'deserved' even if she didn't realize it.
In your 20's you disappeared. We used to talk every day, sometimes all day, and you just disappeared. You went to your college, I went to mine, and you were gone. We saw one another on holidays, sometimes, but you were so engrossed in your studies, so determined to make something of yourself, that I was even more invisible than I'd ever been. At first I thought that this kind of ambition wasn't really a bad thing, there are a lot of Type A personalities in the world, after all. But then when I finally got you to talk to me you were doing it to show them, to show them all. The driving force behind this ambition, behind it all, was still her, the 'her's of this world. Somewhere in your mind she still existed in all her teenage glory, with her hot body and her empty mind, gazing into a mirror that would never reflect you. It finally occurred to me that I don't want you! Why would I want a man who is so hung up on another woman, another type of woman, that his entire existence has been devoted to her in one way or another? Why would I want a man who, instead of developing as a person, who instead of growing and learning and maturing, has been stuck inside his own head for a decade or more still beating against the self built walls of rejection? I am perfectly capable of being a whole and happy person, in and of myself. I don't need you, or anybody else, to complete me or to make my life worthwhile. I have better things to do.
But now I'm not a wallflower, am I? I didn't know how to dress, or do my hair and make-up in high school. I could barely bring myself to care about such things in college, though I did try, occasionally. When I finally stopped trying to be That Girl, and instead just worked on being the best ME I could be, suddenly I'm visible. Now that I have the self-confidence from having succeeded in my life so far, now that I know who I am and what I want and don't care what anybody around me says I should be or should want, suddenly I'm Somebody. I don't need you anymore. I'm not in the mood to deal with you, your issues, or your quest for recognition. When I find a man who is my equal, who realizes that I am his equal, we will work together to be happy, we will have children if we decide to, and have the things that make us happy, together.
Truth is, I'm happy for you. I really am. It's about time that you matured and came to your senses about that girl and the many people that are just like her, who want what they want when they want it and don't care about consequences, the future, or even tomorrow, as long as they have fun today. But I wasn't sitting by the phone waiting for you to realize that I'm a great woman. I wrote you off long, long ago. You've learned some important lessons, and so have I. In fact, you taught me one. You taught me not to date guys like you.
Speaking for the nice girls out there, you're too late.
We want a man, not a petulant boy who still sees any choice that doesn't line up with what he wants as being wrong and misguided. We don't want some boy who has finally realized that he was standing on the backs of the nice girls to reach for the wrong ones. We want a man who sees that each woman is a person, not a trophy, not an achievement to reach. We want a man who sees our sense of humor, our sense of self, and honors that and loves that. And that's just not you. I'm sorry if that bothers you. Well, no, actually I'm not. I don't even care that much. Good luck in life.
The Nice Girl
http://thoughtcatalog.com/leo-steven/2014/04/dear-girls-who-are-finally-ready-to-date-nice-guys-we-dont-want-you-anymore/
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Dear Nice Guys Who Are (Finally) Ready to Date Nice Girls: We Don't Want You Anymore.
You had your chance to ask us out on a date. You remember when that hot girl you wanted so badly finally went out on a date with you? You were so excited! You went on and on to me about how amazing the date was going to be, how you were going to knock her socks off with your good manners, display of romance, and willingness to spend every penny you possess on her. Somehow, you and she were going to be two completely different people on this amazing date and live happily ever after. You were going to be somebody she found interesting and fun and she was going to develop depth and a personality. Do you remember?
Do you remember how brutally crushed you were when, at the end of the night, reality came crashing down crushing your hopes and dreams into the dust. Not only were you still you, but she was still the same person she's always been. Only now you were seeing her for who she really was all along. You were finally seeing past her perky 36C breasts and well displayed cleavage, her well trimmed waist that was always easy to glimpse when she moved around because her tops were barely long enough to reach the bottom of her waist, her round and firm ass that she worked to keep tight and firm. You were finally seeing that underneath that jail bait body she was really just a shallow, self involved jerk who didn't deserve you at all. At least, that's what I thought you were seeing.
Do you remember whose shoulder you cried on? Do you remember the hours you spent lamenting to me that life sucked, that your life, in particular, sucked, and that you were going to be forever alone? I remember. I held your hand, I gave you my shoulder, I was there for you at all hours any time you were feeling down and needed to vent. And vent you did. The mantra of the rejected nice guy became your life. You were going to show her; you were going to show all the girls like her! At first I thought that your anger meant you were finally moving on and were making progress. Maybe, just maybe, you would finally SEE ME! Maybe now that you finally saw her, you could lose those rose tinted glasses and see me for something other than wallpaper, or a D&D buddy, a friend, a Nice Girl. Ha! Little did I know. You still didn't see her for the person that she was, you only saw a beautiful girl who you believed you 'deserved' even if she didn't realize it.
In your 20's you disappeared. We used to talk every day, sometimes all day, and you just disappeared. You went to your college, I went to mine, and you were gone. We saw one another on holidays, sometimes, but you were so engrossed in your studies, so determined to make something of yourself, that I was even more invisible than I'd ever been. At first I thought that this kind of ambition wasn't really a bad thing, there are a lot of Type A personalities in the world, after all. But then when I finally got you to talk to me you were doing it to show them, to show them all. The driving force behind this ambition, behind it all, was still her, the 'her's of this world. Somewhere in your mind she still existed in all her teenage glory, with her hot body and her empty mind, gazing into a mirror that would never reflect you. It finally occurred to me that I don't want you! Why would I want a man who is so hung up on another woman, another type of woman, that his entire existence has been devoted to her in one way or another? Why would I want a man who, instead of developing as a person, who instead of growing and learning and maturing, has been stuck inside his own head for a decade or more still beating against the self built walls of rejection? I am perfectly capable of being a whole and happy person, in and of myself. I don't need you, or anybody else, to complete me or to make my life worthwhile. I have better things to do.
But now I'm not a wallflower, am I? I didn't know how to dress, or do my hair and make-up in high school. I could barely bring myself to care about such things in college, though I did try, occasionally. When I finally stopped trying to be That Girl, and instead just worked on being the best ME I could be, suddenly I'm visible. Now that I have the self-confidence from having succeeded in my life so far, now that I know who I am and what I want and don't care what anybody around me says I should be or should want, suddenly I'm Somebody. I don't need you anymore. I'm not in the mood to deal with you, your issues, or your quest for recognition. When I find a man who is my equal, who realizes that I am his equal, we will work together to be happy, we will have children if we decide to, and have the things that make us happy, together.
Truth is, I'm happy for you. I really am. It's about time that you matured and came to your senses about that girl and the many people that are just like her, who want what they want when they want it and don't care about consequences, the future, or even tomorrow, as long as they have fun today. But I wasn't sitting by the phone waiting for you to realize that I'm a great woman. I wrote you off long, long ago. You've learned some important lessons, and so have I. In fact, you taught me one. You taught me not to date guys like you.
Speaking for the nice girls out there, you're too late.
We want a man, not a petulant boy who still sees any choice that doesn't line up with what he wants as being wrong and misguided. We don't want some boy who has finally realized that he was standing on the backs of the nice girls to reach for the wrong ones. We want a man who sees that each woman is a person, not a trophy, not an achievement to reach. We want a man who sees our sense of humor, our sense of self, and honors that and loves that. And that's just not you. I'm sorry if that bothers you. Well, no, actually I'm not. I don't even care that much. Good luck in life.
The Nice Girl
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Review of Vidal Sassoon's Salonist Hair Color
So first let me tell you that I'm a Bzz Agent. If you haven't heard of it, what that means is that I get samples of products from various companies so that I can try things out and let them know what I think, and usually get some really awesome coupons to share with people. In this case, I received a kit from Vidal Sassoon of their Salonist Hair Color in Dark Neutral Blonde. Now, I'm a hair moron....I even had my husband choose the shade for me so I wouldn't end up picking something completely awful. (He did very well, by the way!) I will tell you that this hair coloring kit was EASY! My hair was last colored by some mediocre salon at a mall in Buffalo NY and has been slowly growing out ever since. And while blonde highlights in brown hair blend, to a point, it doesn't at all when you've got six inches of dark brown roots. I had a lot of the length cut off recently at the salon at JC Penny's at our local mall in Massena (HIGHLY recommended!!!) and it helped, but I really needed to do something about that mismatched color scheme I had going on. When I had the opportunity to try this product I was very happy to.
Here is what I was starting with. See those roots I was talking about? Ugh!!
Here are all the bits and pieces from my VS Salonist Hair Coloring kit. Now that folded up paper center front is the easiest set of directions that you're ever going to find in something like this. It had step by step, clearly spelled out instructions with pictures. Doesn't get easier than that! And you could actually understand them! Oh, and I really liked that you got REAL latex gloves (inside that container) to work with instead of those flimsy things that used to come attached to the directions? Yeah, those were cheap.
Here is the kit!!
So Step 1 -- mix this bottle and that tube together.
Now, there's a line in that little black tray to help you know how much 3/4 of the tray is, because now you use 3/4 of this goop on your roots and save the other 1/4 for later.
Am I hot, or am I HOT!!! So this stuff smells okay. There's a teensy bit of a tingly almost stingy/burning feeling, but not quite, like it's almost about to feel uncomfortable, but more that you're just aware of it. And yeah, this is NOT how the model in the instructions looks, but forget her....she had help!
Besides, I can vogue like Madonna!
(Shhhhhh.....yeah, I know.....I'm old....)
(Shhhhhh.....yeah, I know.....I'm old....)
So you leave this on for 20-30 minutes. Plenty of time to have a glass of wine and read all about the next step. In Step 2 you're going to take that little red packet and mix it with the remaining 1/4 of the goop in the tray. Then you're going to grab glops of it and massage it into all your hair. Tip -- do this over a sink! I mean, this is not the time to be wearing your good shirt, using good towels, or hanging out in the carpeted den.
Just get it all on there and let it sit for about 10 minutes. Now here is where the less than pleasant smell comes in. We are chemically altering our appearance and can't expect it to all smell like candy. As these things go, the smell was fine, easily tolerable, and only made my eyes water a little when I was putting it on.
You'll want to make sure before you even start this process that you can get to the sink, and have a towel and stuff ready over there. Because the last step is going to be rinse the goop allllll out, wash, and condition with the very awesome stuff they give you. Now only use about a quarter sized amount of their conditioner because you're going to use it about once a week or so until it's gone to help the color last longer.
OMGZ!! My roots match the rest of my hair!!!
How easy was THAT!!!!
And really, that's IT! Yes! That's all there is to this! A good tip for anybody that colors their hair is cut the top of the box off so that you have the color name and number code for future purchases. Maybe stick it in your purse. It'll fall to the bottom and be there with the empty gum wrapper and pennies when you need it again in three months or so. Now Vidal Sassoon's Salonist Hair Color advertises that is covers greys 100%! So whether you are looking for a change up in color to chase away the winter blahs, or you need to beat some greys into submission, or you just have a bad set of roots that need dealing with, this is the product you want to try out! And if you live near me, then you're in luck, because I've got FOUR coupons for this for $3 off! So if you want one of these coupons let me know and I'll get it to you -- I don't expect them to last very long!
Many many thanks to Vidal Sassoon for sending me this product to try out! I am very impressed in how simple it was to use and how soft my hair feels now, as well as the very nice color that it is now (especially compared to my before pics!!!).
Many many thanks to Vidal Sassoon for sending me this product to try out! I am very impressed in how simple it was to use and how soft my hair feels now, as well as the very nice color that it is now (especially compared to my before pics!!!).
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