Tomorrow morning at 8am my 14 year old cat Stinky has a vet appointment. He's an albino twin. I adopted him and his brother Lucky after spending a week alone during the Ice Storm of '98. These cats have been in my life a very long time. They are the most lovable lap cats ever, they love everybody, they are everything anybody could want in cats. I noticed last month, before Christmas, that Stinky was dropping significant weight and his fur was getting ratty looking. He doesn't seem to be in any pain, or to have any stiffness, he's eating and drinking. All three of our cats share a litter box so there's no way to track that. He still snuggles and purrs and doesn't flinch when you pet him though he's nearly skeletal under his fur now. I wish so much that I could just pretend there's nothing going on with him, but I don't want to find him in pain some morning because I let whatever this condition is go on untreated. I am afraid that he's not coming home tomorrow and I'm very upset about it. This cat was my baby before I had a baby, my companion when I was alone, somebody to talk to and play with for over a dozen years. I held him and cried earlier. I'd drink some wine but I'm afraid I'd just start crying and not stop at all, and I don't want to be hung over in the morning.
Kyle is coming with me, and Colin will be with us if school isn't cancelled because we'll be dropping him off about 20 minutes later. This will be the first time as an adult in my own household that I'll have to have a family pet euthanized, if it comes to that. And I really do think it will....there aren't many good reasons for an old cat to drop weight like that, and nearly all of them terminal. I'm not going to start giving my 14 year old companion shots or stuffing him with pills....that would freak him right out. That's not quality of life for him, that's selfishness for me to hang on to him in defiance of the natural course of his life. :-(
At least tomorrow I'll have family around me to keep me company and keep my spirits up.
Written by my 11yr old son and left for me to find:
ReplyDeleteMy Cat
If you're reading
this it's probably too late.
The vet made you sad
by clearing a space. There's
a little less fur to
clean up, a little less
purr to cheer you
up. I want you to see,
this also is affecting
me. I want you to know
we all have each other
and we will always feel
bad for Lucky's brother.
You did the right thing
even though it feels
wrong. You did the right
thing, but we all care.
We all care. We all
Care. I care, you care, 14
years of care. 14 years
of life were not in
vain. For once, lets live
to be wrong. Lets pray
lets say lets hope to
be wrong.
My Stinky Baby is gone. He crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning shortly after 8am. He came to me in an Ice Storm and he left me in one....strange Karma, there. I was very tempted in those last moments to have him tested and try to "save" him, and I'm so glad my husband was there with me so I could stay strong and do what had to be done. He went instantly and without any pain to him, just to us.
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