On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me......

What a very odd holiday season it is so far this year.  We had a little bit of snow in October, and then nothing.  The temperatures have been in the 40's and 50's most of November and so far in December.  I can't say that I mind it....it's making our heating bill absolutely a wonderful thing.  It would normally be three to four times it's current size at this point in the winter.

I've been at loose ends for a while, now.  When I stopped being a Day Care provider for the little guy I watched, because he got older and all that, I didn't really have anything to replace it with.  Oh yes, I have hobbies but I really haven't been motivated to do anything like that.  I haven't even felt much like reading, to be honest.  And that's very odd, for me.  I have been steadily putting out job applications and watching the local listings.  What I want is a clerical type of position, Monday through Friday, banker's hours.  What I'd most like, would be for that to happen at Clarkson University.  It's really a very beautiful place to work, though I realize not everybody's experiences there are perfect.  Nothing is perfect.  I like the old buildings and the atmosphere.  I want to wear nice clothes and talk to adults.  It's also true that working there would provide my son with free tuition and that he would benefit very much from the courses that Clarkson offers.  But I've been applying there for years, now, with only one interview.  And man, I had that one in the BAG until a woman stepped in with my lifetime's worth of years of experience in that exact department.  Nobody could have competed with that and truly, she got the job.  And truly, she lasted less than one year.  They refilled the position internally, after that.  I've still been plugging away, applying to most anything that I'm qualified for.  Some jobs sound more perfect than others, but always I just get the thanks but no thanks letter a month later.  It does get very discouraging.  I have such a unique level of experience in the things that most employers want, the people skills, the communication skills, the organization skills, the ability and willingness to learn and be challenged, and the fact that, at 42 years old, I'm looking for a job that will last me the rest of my working life.  Want to fill a position and keep it filled?  I'm who you hire.  I've assumed, though, that I just don't look good enough on paper to get those interviews.

Well, until yesterday.  At 2:30pm yesterday I looked over Clarkson's website and applied for two positions that were open that I am qualified for.  While I was at it, I also applied for a customer service position at another local company who has said thanks but no thanks to me in the past but is once again hiring.  Within hours, I was contacted by one of my references from the Clarkson applications who let me know they were checking my references.  By 5:30 I heard from the local company who scheduled me for an interview this afternoon.  Meanwhile, my financial aid package will arrive any day now from SUNY Potsdam college to enroll as a full time student this coming semester.  We shall see how this all plays out.  A bird in the hand and all, I will absolutely take a job before going back to college.  The point of going back to school is to get a job.  If I can get the job without the 4-6 years of additional schooling, then yay.

So then I've got two jobs potentially looking at me.  Yikes!  It's been a long time since I've been in this kind of situation.  They have similar pay scales.  They both would be interesting and challenging and fire up my mind.  They are both good jobs in their own right. It may very well come down to first come, first served.  I did take the time to send a follow up email to the department head of the Clarkson job letting him know that I am interested, that I am awesome, and that I am potentially disappearing.  Hopefully, I hear back from them for an interview before too long.  Meanwhile, I've got my clothes picked out for this afternoon's interview, my folder all set, and am  just killing time, now.

If I'd known that heading back to school caused employers to come out of the woodwork, I'd have done this a long time ago.

Still....

I am still applying for jobs.  I have my acceptance letter on the freezer door because YAY!  And any day now I expect to receive some paperwork from financial aid and then I can call them and get to work on the final details.   But today I applied for three local jobs.  Two of them are at Clarkson University....I would so dearly love to get a job there.  The third was for a job that I applied for another time it popped up in the local paper.  They haven't changed their ad, nor their website, and it kind of worries me that the position pops up occasionally.  Is it a lousy place to work and they have bad turnover?  Or is it that people get really good and move upward into other positions and this entry level type job opens when that happens?  It's great hours and great pay, so if I were offered it, I'd take it.  I would still take classes, if I managed to land a job before things got going.  I kind of want to, now, despite my trepidation about it.  And I'm slightly more than halfway to a Bachelor's already.  It'd be a shame to waste that.  But if I can double or more the household income, I'm sure as hell going to do that.  A bird in the hand, and all.

And I'll be damned!  One of my references just let me know that she's already been contacted!  Wouldn't that just beat all, if I finally wrapped my head around going to school and THEN landed a job I want?  lolz!  Well, I'd take it.  I'd damned sure take it....it would be a wonderful thing to finally land a M-F, 9-5 office job.  I'd ROCK a job like that and they'd be so happy they'd hired me!  I am exactly what they want, if they only stop long enough to see it.  I am 42 years old, my son is 15 and no longer requires me around to feed him, or be with him when he's sick, etc.  I own a home and am not leaving this area.  My husband and I have strong ties to this community and have already rejected transferring out of the area when he worked at GM and it closed down.  I am on top of my health and don't need time off for sniffles and things like that.  Oh, and I can pass any and all drug tests at any time.  I'm SMART, I'm great with computers, I'm a mad queen of details and organization, and I LOVE to be good at things.  I like to be the BEST at things.  I'm looking for a job I can retire from in 25-30 years, not a stepping stone to bigger and better things.  And the place that finally gets that, is going to be glad they did.

So, cross your fingers for me!  Not really sure for which, but just in general.  What will be, will be.

When I Grow Up.....

When I grow up I'd like to be a therapist.  I'd like to, eventually, work in a nice office with a nice desk where I keep all my paperwork organized.  I'd like to have some nice comfy chairs, an overstuffed couch, a bean bag, a coffee table with some adult style coloring books on it, some Van Gogh prints on the walls.  When people put a gentle hand on a friends shoulder and say, "You really should talk to somebody," I want to be that somebody that they're going to come talk to.  Whether they think they might have a mental illness, or they need help dealing with something that has happened to them or been done to them, or maybe they just can't believe that they deserve a happy life and need help getting there.....I want to be that person.

http://www.humanservicesedu.org/counselor-vs-psych-vs-therapist.html

It can be tricky when terms are sometimes interchangeable and sometimes not.  Even trickier when outside of the profession, those terms become even more fluid.

http://www.psychiatry.org/residents-medical-students/medical-students/psychiatry-is-it-for-me?wptouch_preview_theme=enabled

I am not aiming to be a psychiatrist.  Oh, I would, if I were ten years younger but at 42 I just really do NOT have the ambition.  The ability is there, and I think I would find it fascinating to take the classes (I've always really loved biology) but it's just beyond what I want to do at this point in my life.  I've only got an Associate's Degree as I being this journey, so I've got many years of school ahead of me no matter what I do.  And MedTerm was aggravating enough 20 years ago.  lolz!

http://careersinpsychology.org/new-york-social-work-licensing-process/

I am not aiming for employment in the field of social work.  Now there are some people who work their collective ASSES off.  And with the right degree in the right area of social work you can absolutely be a therapist.  Most often, the help is not limited to talk therapy for these fine folks but also includes working with programs, departments, courts, et cetera, as in intermediary to help their clients out in the world.  New York State does NOT make it an easy thing to do, being a social worker.  Just reading the description of what necessary to become a therapist through this degree program makes me want to gouge out my eyes.  Oh, and it takes at least a Master's plus so many clinical hours and supervision and a lot of the same hoops.  And in the end, you work twice as hard for about half the pay and the field has a burnout rate akin to the retail career I fled years ago.  My hat is off to the men and women in that field....it is a calling.

http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-licensed-counselor-in-new-york/

http://careersinpsychology.org/how-to-become-a-psychologist-in-new-york/

http://www.counselor-license.com/articles/psychologist-vs-counselor.html#context/api/listings/prefilter

Well, when you look at choosing between a doctorate in counseling and a doctorate in clinical psychology, you're looking at the same number of years and the same level of work involved to get there.  There's really a lot of overlap between the two, depending where you look.  I'm aiming for the psychology doctorate.  I like the versatility, I like the research aspect of it, it's much more in line with what I want for myself.

There are four colleges in my area.  SUNY Canton, SUNY Potsdam, Clarkson University and St. Lawrence University.  Now, the two universities have tuition fees that are higher for one year than the tax assessment on my home.  I'd sure LOVE to attend either of them, but I'd also love to have Marilyn Monroe's figure and Harry Potter's wand.  Canton offers a BS and Potsdam offers a BA.  If I were stopping at Bachelor's level, I would definitely have to aim for Canton, but I will pursue a Master's then a Doctorate after that point.  So I am hoping to go to Potsdam.  I've sent them my application, my previous college transcripts, and have filled out my financial aid paperwork.  I was hoping to hear back from them this week.  Waiting always sucks.  ;)

I haven't stopped watching the local job listings.  I am still getting the occasional thanks but no thanks letters from jobs I've applied for.  Kind of depressing, those letters.  There are worse things, but still....

As I navigate all of this, doing this research on what's what, and trying to narrow down what I'd like to see myself doing a decade from now, I am stunned at how useless my high school guidance counselor was.  I have no memory of that person outside of one maybe ten minute session that all kids had to be handed applications for college or some such thing.  Nobody ever told me so much as what degrees were what, what took how long, where to go for various programs, or even helped me narrow down the vaguest idea of what I might want to aim for.  I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, handed a form to fill out, then shoo'ed out of my seat as the next drone was called in.  I had no older siblings, my parents didn't have higher education, a few distant family members went to college but I wasn't close to them, then, nor did I have the wisdom to even ask them about it at that point in time.  Thankfully, I've been able to help my son a bit more than that.  This experience will allow me to be much more help to him, when it's time for him to do this in a couple years.

Onward and upward.