So in 2000 I had gestational diabetes. My doctors did next to nothing to educate me about this. They showed me how to stick myself with a needle, how to use a glucose meter and sent me for one visit to a nutritionist. After giving birth my blood glucose was perfect, as was my baby's, and we were sent home with no more fuss about it.
This was unfortunate because in 2005 I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes with blood glucose numbers off the charts, literally. My friend's home meter read ERROR when they tested me after a cookout one sunny summer evening. The lowest reading we got that evening was 549.
Over the next several months, despite having to switch from a condescending, arrogant, misogynistic bastard of a doctor (John Burnett, M.D. if you'd like to know), trying a couple different oral medications, doing research like a budding scientist, working out like a triathlon contestant and much obsessing, I got my HbA1c down to 5.4. The hemoglobin A1c is roughly a three month average of blood glucose numbers. Many years ago doctors were taught to get people below 7.0. Now-a-days, depending on who you talk to, they want it anywhere between 5.0 and 6.5. Some experts are even suggesting that too low is as bad as too high when some patients end up in the 4's and have heart attacks and other problems. But without a doubt too high is just plain too high. And mine is too high.
At my regular doctor's visit early last month my A1c was 7.1. This is high, but it had actually come down a point from the previous visit. Yes, I've been slacking....both in the exercise department and in the nutrition department. And I know better. I have no excuse. Reasons....but no excuse. Today when I went to my OB/GYN he had me retested and said I was at 9.1. This is seriously bad.....although I'm suspicious of it as I can't see it jumping two full points in six weeks. I have heard, though, that A1c's are skewed toward the last two weeks. Well, I am due for my period in about three more days and the week to 10 days that I have PMS I have almost no control over those numbers. My regular GP and I have already increased my metformin 500mg/day for that week but it hasn't had the effect that I'd hoped.
Anyway.....so Dr. S. today told me he was putting me on insulin. See, I've been TTC (trying to conceive) for nearly four years now. Blood glucose numbers like this totally defeat that....not to mention that they're simply unhealthy and damaging. I freaked!! I HATE needles!!! All those months in 2000 I had to give myself an insulin shot every morning and every morning for every day of all of those months I sat there with that needles hovered over my thigh, next to tears, working up the courage to stick myself with that tiny little subcutaneous needle. It never got easier....but for the child I was carrying I did it. Making myself do it now is a terrible thought. THANKfully Dr. S has given me an increase in my oral meds and an appointment on Nov. 17th before putting me on insulin. I have to track my numbers for him and we're going to see what we see.
So my goal for the next three weeks is to drive those glucose numbers back down towards where they go. I don't expect them to be in the right ranges in such a short time, but I fully intend to show him that I do not need to stick myself with those needles just yet. I had that A1c down to 5.4 before. I ran a diabetes forum on a nutritional website for a few years. I know what to do. Now for the doing of it......wish me luck!!! And feel free to give me random kicks to keep me on the wagon!!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Political Correctness
Some of the basic principles that this country was founded on...freedom of religion, freedom of speech, to congregate, to bear arms, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that good stuff....no where in there does it say that you have the right to live out these freedoms without repercussions, resentment, responsibility or rejection from other people. I'm not sure when it because the government's job to make sure that not only do you we have those basic rights, but that nobody is allowed to say they disagree. I'm not sure when it became a bad thing to say NO, I don't want this, I don't like that, I disagree, I think you're *gasp* WRONG. But somewhere along the lines this is exactly what's happened.
I think the mosque at ground zero is kind of an example of that. I don't think we're getting down to the average person's real feelings because everybody has been programmed not to offend anybody. So all we're hearing from are the far left and the far right because the average American, who is usually somewhere in the middle, feels they'll be chastised if they speak out with an opinion that isn't politically correct.
I did not lose anybody in the attacks on 9/11...I don't live in NYC....I don't know, first hand, the local sentiment on the streets there or how the average person who will be there day to day feels about the situation. I have not read the Koran myself and I don't take anybody's word on what it says. I've heard how Christians can come up with several interpretations of one verse in the Bible based on their religion, their upbringing, heck....the part of the country they live in! I expect that the Koran probably gets the same kind of treatment when it comes to interpretations. There are Christian churches who handle poisonous snakes as a part of their religious practice so it's not like the Bible doesn't get it's own 'out there' interpretations!
At first I was thinking along the lines of "Live and let live." Recently, a friend who lives in Brooklyn posted a link to a video that I watched and in it there were several points I had not heard before. It's not enough to sway me to the speaker's point of view, but it was enough to make me think more about it. I hear a lot of people tubthumping about the situation but I don't see much in the way of the average person's opinions. I wonder if many of them are feeling the way I do about it....somewhere between "it's not really my business" and "I'm not really sure what to think."
I do know that if I say I don't want a Mosque near Ground Zero then I'm intolerant, racist and un-American because I don't allow for freedom of religion. Well, freedom of religion means you're free to practice your religion without persecution....it doesn't mean you get public support, good public opinion, or tolerance. I know that if I say I support the Mosque at Ground Zero then I'm supporting terrorists who have already bitch slapped the USA, I'm not being considerate enough of the feelings of the families of the victims of 9/11, and I'm un-American because I must not feel the proper amount of outrage over the 9/11 attacks. I know that there is no win in this situation and I wonder if that's the average American's outlook these days...
I think the mosque at ground zero is kind of an example of that. I don't think we're getting down to the average person's real feelings because everybody has been programmed not to offend anybody. So all we're hearing from are the far left and the far right because the average American, who is usually somewhere in the middle, feels they'll be chastised if they speak out with an opinion that isn't politically correct.
I did not lose anybody in the attacks on 9/11...I don't live in NYC....I don't know, first hand, the local sentiment on the streets there or how the average person who will be there day to day feels about the situation. I have not read the Koran myself and I don't take anybody's word on what it says. I've heard how Christians can come up with several interpretations of one verse in the Bible based on their religion, their upbringing, heck....the part of the country they live in! I expect that the Koran probably gets the same kind of treatment when it comes to interpretations. There are Christian churches who handle poisonous snakes as a part of their religious practice so it's not like the Bible doesn't get it's own 'out there' interpretations!
At first I was thinking along the lines of "Live and let live." Recently, a friend who lives in Brooklyn posted a link to a video that I watched and in it there were several points I had not heard before. It's not enough to sway me to the speaker's point of view, but it was enough to make me think more about it. I hear a lot of people tubthumping about the situation but I don't see much in the way of the average person's opinions. I wonder if many of them are feeling the way I do about it....somewhere between "it's not really my business" and "I'm not really sure what to think."
I do know that if I say I don't want a Mosque near Ground Zero then I'm intolerant, racist and un-American because I don't allow for freedom of religion. Well, freedom of religion means you're free to practice your religion without persecution....it doesn't mean you get public support, good public opinion, or tolerance. I know that if I say I support the Mosque at Ground Zero then I'm supporting terrorists who have already bitch slapped the USA, I'm not being considerate enough of the feelings of the families of the victims of 9/11, and I'm un-American because I must not feel the proper amount of outrage over the 9/11 attacks. I know that there is no win in this situation and I wonder if that's the average American's outlook these days...
Friday, September 24, 2010
Breastfeeding -- A Modern Debate
It's kind of nice that in our world today we have so few things of pressing importance that we can really bring ourselves to get bothered by what another woman chooses to do when it comes to choosing breast or bottle. Myself, I'm a live and let live kind of girl. I don't have any beef with whatever the next woman wants to do. If she really wants to BF a child who started kindergarten this year that's her business. If she wants to do it on a bench in the mall I really don't care. If she's doing it at the table near me I equally don't care. That's her business. I don't find the human body skitchy and I'm not skeeved out to see a strange woman's breasts, or even to have to explain to my, now 10 year old, son what she's doing.
I didn't BF my child because I had to go back to work, we had to wear white blouse shirts, I worked in a RadioShack with one single stall bathroom, and across the hall was a KBToys....and it was the 2nd week of November. I really had no desire to spring a leak every time a child cried across the hall wanting some of the toys on display for the holidays. I had equally no desire to pump myself in that one small bathroom that we all shared in my mostly male work environment. Somehow, despite my choice, my son has a very strong immune system and rarely gets sick, he is a straight A student who excels at anything he tries, indicating that his brain function is doing quite well, and we have a wonderful bond between us. I don't feel he or I missed out on anything. I had one Breast Nazi after me back then, one woman I knew in real life who said derogatory things about me for not breast feeding my baby. I brushed it off, despite occasional annoyance at her.
My husband and I have been TTC (trying to conceive) since we got married Halloween of '06. It hasn't happened for us...c'est la vie. If I do manage to conceive I would like to BF my next baby. I work out of the home now, providing private day care for a friend. I'd have the freedom to BF comfortably, to find my own comfort zone with it, and experience it for myself. I would not extended BF. Personally, I feel (as my husband puts it) if the child is old enough to chew steak it's time to stop. I don't care what anybody else wants to do, but I know my own limits somewhat. I think about six months is when I'd wean. By then I'd want my body back. I'd want to have some wine, to drink a pot of coffee, to take some allergy medicine when my sinuses get all stuffed up...I think by then I'd want my body to be my own again.
To me, the most aggravating aspect of my pregnancy with my son were the restrictions I was on. I had gestational diabetes so I had to be perfect about what I ate and I had to use insulin because most of the oral medications either aren't approved for use during pregnancy (which would also include during BF'ing) or can't hold up to the hormonal fluctuations going on. I remember having an infection and not being able to do much about it except a low dose antibiotic which took forever to work. I got a sinus congestion kind of cold and couldn't take anything at all for it and had to suffer while it ran it's course. When I had a headache my doctor said if it was truly unbearable to take one regular acetaminophen but otherwise, nothing. Now I did all these things, I followed all the rules, I was a perfect angel and even complimented on it by nurses at the hospital I used. I was a goddess of self control. I kept my blood glucose perfect. I put nothing in my body that could potentially harm my baby. I saw a nutritionist, I followed the diets. I gave birth to a baby of normal weight who was perfectly healthy immediately upon birth. (Yeah, me!) The idea of having to extend that behavior much further beyond birth is not a fun one. The first thing I did when I got home from the hospital was eat chocolate, take a Percocet and when he was one month old the (now ex) husband and I went to a late holiday party overnight, out of town, and I got LOADED! WooHoo!
Now, I can hear the stringent BF supporters, the ones who think not BF'ing is a form of child abuse, shaking their heads in disgust at my selfishness. But again I say: To each their own. If you feel that way about it you go right ahead and BF your children however long you want to. You won't ever get a nasty look or unkind word from me. I'd appreciate the same in response.
I didn't BF my child because I had to go back to work, we had to wear white blouse shirts, I worked in a RadioShack with one single stall bathroom, and across the hall was a KBToys....and it was the 2nd week of November. I really had no desire to spring a leak every time a child cried across the hall wanting some of the toys on display for the holidays. I had equally no desire to pump myself in that one small bathroom that we all shared in my mostly male work environment. Somehow, despite my choice, my son has a very strong immune system and rarely gets sick, he is a straight A student who excels at anything he tries, indicating that his brain function is doing quite well, and we have a wonderful bond between us. I don't feel he or I missed out on anything. I had one Breast Nazi after me back then, one woman I knew in real life who said derogatory things about me for not breast feeding my baby. I brushed it off, despite occasional annoyance at her.
My husband and I have been TTC (trying to conceive) since we got married Halloween of '06. It hasn't happened for us...c'est la vie. If I do manage to conceive I would like to BF my next baby. I work out of the home now, providing private day care for a friend. I'd have the freedom to BF comfortably, to find my own comfort zone with it, and experience it for myself. I would not extended BF. Personally, I feel (as my husband puts it) if the child is old enough to chew steak it's time to stop. I don't care what anybody else wants to do, but I know my own limits somewhat. I think about six months is when I'd wean. By then I'd want my body back. I'd want to have some wine, to drink a pot of coffee, to take some allergy medicine when my sinuses get all stuffed up...I think by then I'd want my body to be my own again.
To me, the most aggravating aspect of my pregnancy with my son were the restrictions I was on. I had gestational diabetes so I had to be perfect about what I ate and I had to use insulin because most of the oral medications either aren't approved for use during pregnancy (which would also include during BF'ing) or can't hold up to the hormonal fluctuations going on. I remember having an infection and not being able to do much about it except a low dose antibiotic which took forever to work. I got a sinus congestion kind of cold and couldn't take anything at all for it and had to suffer while it ran it's course. When I had a headache my doctor said if it was truly unbearable to take one regular acetaminophen but otherwise, nothing. Now I did all these things, I followed all the rules, I was a perfect angel and even complimented on it by nurses at the hospital I used. I was a goddess of self control. I kept my blood glucose perfect. I put nothing in my body that could potentially harm my baby. I saw a nutritionist, I followed the diets. I gave birth to a baby of normal weight who was perfectly healthy immediately upon birth. (Yeah, me!) The idea of having to extend that behavior much further beyond birth is not a fun one. The first thing I did when I got home from the hospital was eat chocolate, take a Percocet and when he was one month old the (now ex) husband and I went to a late holiday party overnight, out of town, and I got LOADED! WooHoo!
Now, I can hear the stringent BF supporters, the ones who think not BF'ing is a form of child abuse, shaking their heads in disgust at my selfishness. But again I say: To each their own. If you feel that way about it you go right ahead and BF your children however long you want to. You won't ever get a nasty look or unkind word from me. I'd appreciate the same in response.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Welcome Autumn
Growing up you were considered kind of weird if you answered anything other than Summer for your favorite season. No school, playing outdoors all day long, swimming, sun....summer was king! It's hard to kick that habit, but I have to say Autumn is my favorite season now. Don't get me wrong....I still love summer! My birthday is in the summer, I love spending the time with my kid when he's on vacation, campfires, travelling....there's so much to do! But it gets so hot! How did we not notice this as children?
There is nothing at all nice about a 90 degree day....there's just not! Ten minutes in the sunshine with anything less than SPF1000000 and you've got third degree burns on half your body. Heaven forbid you need to use a car....it's like crawling into an oven. Swimming would be fun....but you just know going to the beach is an exercise in futility as it's going to be full....every person in a 20 miles radius who didn't have to work that day is going to be there. There might be six square inches of water to stand in....and it's probably going to be warm. You'll get to watch the 500lb man in his speedo play catch with his 400lb wife in her bikini while the people at the next towel argue over the potato salad spewing obscenities like they've learned a new word and the 20-somethings kitty corner from you play their punk dance mix music wearing just enough not to show you their Prince Albert. Yeah....the beach....not so fun! Those 90 degree days find me in the house, blasting the air conditioners and waiting for the sun to go down before I venture out to get the mail.
Give me Autumn any day! The sunshine takes on this amber quality, kind of like honey, and everything glows. You can wear a soft, fuzzy sweater and be comfortable, or maybe a beat up old flannel over a soft t-shirt. Campfires are still in but now you don't sweat toasting your marshmallows. When it rains you want to just curl up with a book and doze on the couch. The kids go back to school, make new friends, and those early months of school are exciting and fun. Halloween is approaching, the festival of Samhain, and something inside you recognizes that this....this is a time to appreciate life, to be thankful for the good things, and not get bogged down in the bad. After sunset the growing night gets so dark that you can nearly touch the blackness. You know Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner but they're still far enough away....you don't have to really think about them yet other than in a day dream sort of way. You're more apt to enjoy every moment of sunshine, soaking up every spare moment of it, worshiping the warmth and light with some primal part of you that you can't even name, knowing that soon it will be a cold, far too cold to do more than peer at through a frosted window. Give me the honey gold glow of autumn days and the velvet black nights any day!
There is nothing at all nice about a 90 degree day....there's just not! Ten minutes in the sunshine with anything less than SPF1000000 and you've got third degree burns on half your body. Heaven forbid you need to use a car....it's like crawling into an oven. Swimming would be fun....but you just know going to the beach is an exercise in futility as it's going to be full....every person in a 20 miles radius who didn't have to work that day is going to be there. There might be six square inches of water to stand in....and it's probably going to be warm. You'll get to watch the 500lb man in his speedo play catch with his 400lb wife in her bikini while the people at the next towel argue over the potato salad spewing obscenities like they've learned a new word and the 20-somethings kitty corner from you play their punk dance mix music wearing just enough not to show you their Prince Albert. Yeah....the beach....not so fun! Those 90 degree days find me in the house, blasting the air conditioners and waiting for the sun to go down before I venture out to get the mail.
Give me Autumn any day! The sunshine takes on this amber quality, kind of like honey, and everything glows. You can wear a soft, fuzzy sweater and be comfortable, or maybe a beat up old flannel over a soft t-shirt. Campfires are still in but now you don't sweat toasting your marshmallows. When it rains you want to just curl up with a book and doze on the couch. The kids go back to school, make new friends, and those early months of school are exciting and fun. Halloween is approaching, the festival of Samhain, and something inside you recognizes that this....this is a time to appreciate life, to be thankful for the good things, and not get bogged down in the bad. After sunset the growing night gets so dark that you can nearly touch the blackness. You know Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner but they're still far enough away....you don't have to really think about them yet other than in a day dream sort of way. You're more apt to enjoy every moment of sunshine, soaking up every spare moment of it, worshiping the warmth and light with some primal part of you that you can't even name, knowing that soon it will be a cold, far too cold to do more than peer at through a frosted window. Give me the honey gold glow of autumn days and the velvet black nights any day!
Monday, September 20, 2010
2/10/10 The Squeaky Wheel....is Just Annoying.
Ok, I realize that the old adage "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." does tend to be true in many situations. But standing at the customer service desk whining, making sounds like a wounded goose, is not going to really help your situation. You bought your product more than three months ago, you, yourself, did something to it to destroy it, you have no accessories to it, no box, no manual, although you somehow held on to the receipt. What in the name of all that is good in the retail world (yeah...oxymoron there) makes you think you should be able to return this product??? That we've offered to exchange it for a new one, which we would keep the box, accessories and manual for, is amazing considering how long ago you bought it, it's stunning! You should be happy, grateful, thankful! Nope. You're annoyed because you don't WANT a new one, you want credit back so you can shop for something new that you haven't broken yet.
People....there are stores out there that only give you 14 days in which to return something. Our store gives you 90 days and the majority of our product. That is ridiculous, but it makes us the good guys. Now, when you have gone outside our incredibly extended overlong allowance of time for a return or exchange, give it up. You got more than a quarter of a year's worth of use out of the darn thing before it gave out on you. And it only gave out because of you.....if it were a manufacturer's defect it would have died three months ago. So get over yourself, suck it up buttercup, and deal if we have to tell you that (DUH) no, you cannot get your money back this long after the original purchase.
And for the record, the person on the other side of that counter rarely has the power or authority to bend those rules or alter them in any way. And let's not forget that we're on camera; we're being watched. So no, we can't just make an exception for you because you spend so much money here. Look around you....EVERYBODY spends so much money here. We've got a grocery store, a pharmacy, an automotive center, a department store, toys, electronics, seasonal, a greenhouse and a few other random areas here and there. So you spend hundreds of dollars a month here? Honey, I do that just picking up my groceries. You are NOT special. So your little temper tantrum is not swaying me in any way and it's not doing you any favors, either. Did you know that your face gets all blotchy and really ugly when you scrunch it up like that. Yeah. Stop. It's no more cute on you than it is on my kid....and at least I was able to spank him when he was young and stupid enough to have a tantrum. And I'm considering slapping you, too, cameras or no.
People....there are stores out there that only give you 14 days in which to return something. Our store gives you 90 days and the majority of our product. That is ridiculous, but it makes us the good guys. Now, when you have gone outside our incredibly extended overlong allowance of time for a return or exchange, give it up. You got more than a quarter of a year's worth of use out of the darn thing before it gave out on you. And it only gave out because of you.....if it were a manufacturer's defect it would have died three months ago. So get over yourself, suck it up buttercup, and deal if we have to tell you that (DUH) no, you cannot get your money back this long after the original purchase.
And for the record, the person on the other side of that counter rarely has the power or authority to bend those rules or alter them in any way. And let's not forget that we're on camera; we're being watched. So no, we can't just make an exception for you because you spend so much money here. Look around you....EVERYBODY spends so much money here. We've got a grocery store, a pharmacy, an automotive center, a department store, toys, electronics, seasonal, a greenhouse and a few other random areas here and there. So you spend hundreds of dollars a month here? Honey, I do that just picking up my groceries. You are NOT special. So your little temper tantrum is not swaying me in any way and it's not doing you any favors, either. Did you know that your face gets all blotchy and really ugly when you scrunch it up like that. Yeah. Stop. It's no more cute on you than it is on my kid....and at least I was able to spank him when he was young and stupid enough to have a tantrum. And I'm considering slapping you, too, cameras or no.
Calling for management MIGHT get you somewhere....one out of ten times, depending on the day, the product, the manager and hugely on your attitude. It's usually a huge waste of everybody's time and only makes you more angry because the managers jobs are more secure so they can say things to you that I can't. Things like: Ma'am, why did you wait half a year to bring it back, then? Or, Ma'am, why do you want us to fix the problem when you're the one that broke it? Or even, Ma'am, if you continue to use language like that I'll have to ask you to leave our store. So consider carefully before you ask for a manager...most of the time you're just making yourself look even more stupid then you already did.
The moral of this story, kiddies? Don't break your toys. Don't move the X-box while there is a disk in it, don't set a TV on the TV tray, don't suck up your kids' socks with your vacuum cleaner, don't push, pull or bend on anything any harder than a 6 year old could, don't spill soda on your video game controller, don't buy an up to date game for your 7 year old computer system, don't play frisbee with the blue ray video, and yes...dropping the lead crystal vase will, indeed, crack it. Next time please drop it on your head. If you break your own toys, unlike your indulging parents who obviously catered to your every whim until you were about 30, we will not fix it for you. You'll have no toy, and no money that you spend on the toy.
Get over it.
1/30/10 Srsly?
Folks, there are certain situations, certain conditions of life, when a person should not get in their car, drive to the nearest grocery/department store and shop.
One of these times is when you've had a surgery and aren't supposed to lift anything heavier than your shirt sleeve. Yes, as sad as it is, there is no store out there that offers a personal shopper to aid in your buying experience. There is simply no one on staff who can wander the store with you while you browse and decide what to spend your hard earned money on. Yes, as a cashier I will empty your cart onto the belt for you, I'll bag your purchases and even put them back in your cart for you. Heck, I'll call a stockman who'll come push your cart to your car and put the bags in for you. That's all we've got, though...if the bag of oranges is too heavy for you to lift on maybe you really should have stayed home today.
Another of these times is when you had eye surgery yesterday and can't see much further than your elbow. When you had to hold the cottage cheese up for me to ask me if it was sour cream or not that was an indication that you should not be out shopping. That I, your smiling cashier, had to hold up each item in your cart and tell you what it is, was a HUGE sign that you should have just stayed home.
When you have picked your child up from school because the school nurse called you, insisting that your child was far too ill to remain in her office until the buses left, the only trip you really should make between picking him up and taking him home is the doctor's office and the pharmacy. Buying $300 worth of groceries while your sneezing, hacking, croupy coughing, leaking, lethargic child staggers along behind you ought to be illegal. I think in less tolerant countries somebody would beat you for that. Maybe you should go live there...at least until your child is old enough to take care of himself. Please?
When it becomes impossible to put on clothes, to run a comb through your hair or even wipe the sleep from your eyes it is not time to go shopping. I see so many people shopping in their pajamas it's amazing. Yes, some of the jammies are cute...sometimes they're even clean....and once in a great while it's debatable whether they're jammies or some kind of comfy outfit. But mostly they're dingy and faded and the wearer of said jammies has a bad case of bed head and looks like they just staggered out of their bedroom. I KNOW jammies are comfortable...what do you think I wear around my house? A wool suit and high heels? Heck no! But is it really that difficult, that time consuming, that much effort to comb your hair, to slip on sweat pants and a t-shirt, to wash your face? Or maybe, if you'd be so very kind, brush your teeth?
Late at night when you and your best friend have been partaking of a little magic herb, hanging out in the all night grocery department store is a bad enough idea...bringing your pre-school aged children with you is a much worse idea. Do you realize that you're on camera as you trip through the toy section hooting and giggling over the dancing Elmo as your toddler dozes off in the cart seat? As your friend goes long to catch the Nerf football you're about to throw in a public place, does it occur to you that not only are you NOT Tom Brady but you're barely qualified to be Roseanne Conner at this point. When you're acting like a stoned college kid have you ever stopped to consider that you're middle aged, you're no longer cute, your kids are not only watching you but we're all watching you. Why? Because, dumb ass, it's nearly midnight and your three year old is out in below freezing weather in their footie jammies and a blankie so that their stoned mommy could relive her sorority years with her stoner friend. Grow up.
One of these times is when you've had a surgery and aren't supposed to lift anything heavier than your shirt sleeve. Yes, as sad as it is, there is no store out there that offers a personal shopper to aid in your buying experience. There is simply no one on staff who can wander the store with you while you browse and decide what to spend your hard earned money on. Yes, as a cashier I will empty your cart onto the belt for you, I'll bag your purchases and even put them back in your cart for you. Heck, I'll call a stockman who'll come push your cart to your car and put the bags in for you. That's all we've got, though...if the bag of oranges is too heavy for you to lift on maybe you really should have stayed home today.
Another of these times is when you had eye surgery yesterday and can't see much further than your elbow. When you had to hold the cottage cheese up for me to ask me if it was sour cream or not that was an indication that you should not be out shopping. That I, your smiling cashier, had to hold up each item in your cart and tell you what it is, was a HUGE sign that you should have just stayed home.
When you have picked your child up from school because the school nurse called you, insisting that your child was far too ill to remain in her office until the buses left, the only trip you really should make between picking him up and taking him home is the doctor's office and the pharmacy. Buying $300 worth of groceries while your sneezing, hacking, croupy coughing, leaking, lethargic child staggers along behind you ought to be illegal. I think in less tolerant countries somebody would beat you for that. Maybe you should go live there...at least until your child is old enough to take care of himself. Please?
When it becomes impossible to put on clothes, to run a comb through your hair or even wipe the sleep from your eyes it is not time to go shopping. I see so many people shopping in their pajamas it's amazing. Yes, some of the jammies are cute...sometimes they're even clean....and once in a great while it's debatable whether they're jammies or some kind of comfy outfit. But mostly they're dingy and faded and the wearer of said jammies has a bad case of bed head and looks like they just staggered out of their bedroom. I KNOW jammies are comfortable...what do you think I wear around my house? A wool suit and high heels? Heck no! But is it really that difficult, that time consuming, that much effort to comb your hair, to slip on sweat pants and a t-shirt, to wash your face? Or maybe, if you'd be so very kind, brush your teeth?
Late at night when you and your best friend have been partaking of a little magic herb, hanging out in the all night grocery department store is a bad enough idea...bringing your pre-school aged children with you is a much worse idea. Do you realize that you're on camera as you trip through the toy section hooting and giggling over the dancing Elmo as your toddler dozes off in the cart seat? As your friend goes long to catch the Nerf football you're about to throw in a public place, does it occur to you that not only are you NOT Tom Brady but you're barely qualified to be Roseanne Conner at this point. When you're acting like a stoned college kid have you ever stopped to consider that you're middle aged, you're no longer cute, your kids are not only watching you but we're all watching you. Why? Because, dumb ass, it's nearly midnight and your three year old is out in below freezing weather in their footie jammies and a blankie so that their stoned mommy could relive her sorority years with her stoner friend. Grow up.
1/24/10 Tidbits From Your Cashier
Just gotta say -- when you're told about a policy, a law, or some other similarly unchangable thing, taking it out on the peon (in my case, cashier) who has to explain it to you will do nothing for you. That person has zero power to change the policies of the company they work for and could even possibly lose their job if they were to violate those policies without an order from a supervisor. That goes triple if we're talking about laws.
No, you cannot get bagels and honey nut cheerios with your WIC check. No. I can't change that. Yes, I'm serious.
No, you can not use your daughter's/wife's/husband's/son's/mother's/father's/brother's/sister's/partner's /best friend's EBT card. Only the person whose picture is on that card is legally authorized to be using it. For anybody else to use it is WELFARE FRAUD. No, I shit you not. No, I will not break the law for you. No, I really can't explain to you why you've gotten away with it before. And no, I will not commit a felony so that you can have free groceries.
No, if you do not have enough money on you to finish paying for your groceries I will NOT let you go out to your car with the cart full of groceries and come back in with your purse. YOu're welcome to leave with what you've paid for....nothing else. No, I do not have a few dollars I will give you. Yes, I have a few dollars. No, I'm not giving them to you.
Yes, young man, I WILL ID both you and your young friends when you come through my line with a 12 pack of Bud.
No, your five year old can NOT sign the credit card slip for you.
No, I have no way of telling you what your open to buy is on your Visa.
No, you don't have to announce to me and everybody within earshot that this purchase will be on your "FOOD STAMPS".....that nice debit card thingy they put it on now was for your privacy, dork.
Please, ma'am, don't worry....I won't put your bread in with the sack of oranges or the toilet cleaner. I realize that the 19 year old chicky who checked you out last time did just that.....but keep in mind she's never grocery shopped before. Stick with us middle aged cashiers and you'll be fine. ;-)
If you wanted all your groceries in your own bags then guess what....it might have been helpful to let me know you HAD Those bags about four minutes ago at the start of this process......not now that I've already rung up and bagged about 75% of your groceries. Know what? If you want them in those bags now, you can do it your damn self. I'm not UNbagging all these groceries and bagging them again because you have poor timing.
Golly gee....who'd have though you might possibly need your driver's licence/ID when you wrote a check? No, I can't fake the system out. NO, I will not put my ID# in for you, no, you cannot leave with those groceries until they're paid for and they will NOT be paid for with this check until I see the ID that the computer is demanding I see.
Don't worry....all the little ones figure out their voices echo in here eventually. Tune it out.
As for you, yeah, you.....begging your three year old to behave? Bargaining with a child who appears to still be in diapers? Heaven help you 13 years from now. Notice, the 30 seconds I made eye contact with the little monkey he stopped throwing things, stomping his feet, telling you NO, and hitting you? Yeah....I've got it. You don't. Please, stop breeding now.
Yes...I know our store puts out commercials saying that you can cash your checks here. If you pay attention to that lovely fine print that all those kinds of advertisements have, you'll see that there are a few states where that does not apply. NY is one of those states. Sorry, I cannot cash your check. No, it doesn't matter how much ID you have. It does not matter if I call the bank and verify the funds are there. It does not matter if it's your SSD/SSI/refund or any other type of check. No, it's not my choice. No, it's not the store policy. And definitely NO our store does not have the power or authority to trump NYS laws. So sorry.
No, you cannot get bagels and honey nut cheerios with your WIC check. No. I can't change that. Yes, I'm serious.
No, you can not use your daughter's/wife's/husband's/son's/mother's/father's/brother's/sister's/partner's /best friend's EBT card. Only the person whose picture is on that card is legally authorized to be using it. For anybody else to use it is WELFARE FRAUD. No, I shit you not. No, I will not break the law for you. No, I really can't explain to you why you've gotten away with it before. And no, I will not commit a felony so that you can have free groceries.
No, if you do not have enough money on you to finish paying for your groceries I will NOT let you go out to your car with the cart full of groceries and come back in with your purse. YOu're welcome to leave with what you've paid for....nothing else. No, I do not have a few dollars I will give you. Yes, I have a few dollars. No, I'm not giving them to you.
Yes, young man, I WILL ID both you and your young friends when you come through my line with a 12 pack of Bud.
No, your five year old can NOT sign the credit card slip for you.
No, I have no way of telling you what your open to buy is on your Visa.
No, you don't have to announce to me and everybody within earshot that this purchase will be on your "FOOD STAMPS".....that nice debit card thingy they put it on now was for your privacy, dork.
Please, ma'am, don't worry....I won't put your bread in with the sack of oranges or the toilet cleaner. I realize that the 19 year old chicky who checked you out last time did just that.....but keep in mind she's never grocery shopped before. Stick with us middle aged cashiers and you'll be fine. ;-)
If you wanted all your groceries in your own bags then guess what....it might have been helpful to let me know you HAD Those bags about four minutes ago at the start of this process......not now that I've already rung up and bagged about 75% of your groceries. Know what? If you want them in those bags now, you can do it your damn self. I'm not UNbagging all these groceries and bagging them again because you have poor timing.
Golly gee....who'd have though you might possibly need your driver's licence/ID when you wrote a check? No, I can't fake the system out. NO, I will not put my ID# in for you, no, you cannot leave with those groceries until they're paid for and they will NOT be paid for with this check until I see the ID that the computer is demanding I see.
Don't worry....all the little ones figure out their voices echo in here eventually. Tune it out.
As for you, yeah, you.....begging your three year old to behave? Bargaining with a child who appears to still be in diapers? Heaven help you 13 years from now. Notice, the 30 seconds I made eye contact with the little monkey he stopped throwing things, stomping his feet, telling you NO, and hitting you? Yeah....I've got it. You don't. Please, stop breeding now.
Yes...I know our store puts out commercials saying that you can cash your checks here. If you pay attention to that lovely fine print that all those kinds of advertisements have, you'll see that there are a few states where that does not apply. NY is one of those states. Sorry, I cannot cash your check. No, it doesn't matter how much ID you have. It does not matter if I call the bank and verify the funds are there. It does not matter if it's your SSD/SSI/refund or any other type of check. No, it's not my choice. No, it's not the store policy. And definitely NO our store does not have the power or authority to trump NYS laws. So sorry.
Old Blogs
So I have tried this blogging thing before....but I didn't keep up with it. I tried to be too specific in my content and it killed it. But I still have the posts....so I'm going to bring them over here and incorporate them into this blog because they're kind of funny and you might get a kick out of them. When I wrote them I was a cashier at a major retail superstore nearby. I still shop there....I miss my co-workers. It can get pretty dull being home all day, even when the baby is here. A four month old really isn't the best conversationalist....though he has yet to contract anything I say to him....
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Oh, the Noise, Noise, Noise, Noise!!!
From those boys! My kiddo will be 10 tomorrow....just before 2am to be exact. We had his party today. I don't like doing parties on Sundays....it has nothing at all to do with religious observance or anything like that, it's just that Sunday is the day you should get to rest before starting your week all over again. :-) The party went really well -- family came, friends came, there was food, cake, ice cream, gifts, and good fun. Kiddo's best friend is staying over for the night and they are so LOUD! Who'd have though....boys....loud? Yeah....I did ask them not to bust the door off it's hinges and please not to break bones or bleed on things. I figure if I can get those promises out of them the rest is really out of my hands.
Now it's gone very quiet in there....this worries me....if I weren't so scared I'd probably go peek to see what they're doing. But with my luck it's some kind of explosive experiment and the distraction of me opening the door will destroy time and space as we know it.....you just never know. That or they broke something. I'm betting on the time-space continuum thingy, though....
I'm so glad I had a boy! I see some of the fun my friends go through with girls and I have to say I think boys can be much easier. But then again, there are some things that you just don't often go through with a daughter. Like having to explain why you can't set up a target range in the back yard and shoot during your party....around the small children and grandparents. Or trying to help him understand that blue pants and a black shirt will never work. And nothing I say or do seems to sink in when it comes to helping him see that clothes should be FOLDED before they get stuffed into the dresser. ....but hey....he puts the seat down and does windows so I can't complain!
The chaos must have peaked....they've gone to their separate corners. One is at the computer and the other is at the xBox. They'll do this.....pound, smash, yell and go on together for a while then go do separate things for a while. Sometimes they're cooling off after a fight and sometimes I think they're brainstorming for the next disaster to create together and they just think better separately. It's kind of creepy, though, how quiet they can get.....the whole house is quiet. The loudest thing happening this moment is me typing on my laptop.....which hubby likes to call me Machine Gun Kelly when I get typing quickly....but still....wait....where's the dog....this could be bad....
OK....the dog is safe. He was safely outdoors this whole time. Lucky for him. The boys aren't fighting...one's watching Awesome Crashes and the other is playing Mafia Wars. Such quaint pursuits...I should enjoy the quiet while I can...they'll be making all that noise again first thing in the morning.
Is it bedtime yet? ;-P
Now it's gone very quiet in there....this worries me....if I weren't so scared I'd probably go peek to see what they're doing. But with my luck it's some kind of explosive experiment and the distraction of me opening the door will destroy time and space as we know it.....you just never know. That or they broke something. I'm betting on the time-space continuum thingy, though....
I'm so glad I had a boy! I see some of the fun my friends go through with girls and I have to say I think boys can be much easier. But then again, there are some things that you just don't often go through with a daughter. Like having to explain why you can't set up a target range in the back yard and shoot during your party....around the small children and grandparents. Or trying to help him understand that blue pants and a black shirt will never work. And nothing I say or do seems to sink in when it comes to helping him see that clothes should be FOLDED before they get stuffed into the dresser. ....but hey....he puts the seat down and does windows so I can't complain!
The chaos must have peaked....they've gone to their separate corners. One is at the computer and the other is at the xBox. They'll do this.....pound, smash, yell and go on together for a while then go do separate things for a while. Sometimes they're cooling off after a fight and sometimes I think they're brainstorming for the next disaster to create together and they just think better separately. It's kind of creepy, though, how quiet they can get.....the whole house is quiet. The loudest thing happening this moment is me typing on my laptop.....which hubby likes to call me Machine Gun Kelly when I get typing quickly....but still....wait....where's the dog....this could be bad....
OK....the dog is safe. He was safely outdoors this whole time. Lucky for him. The boys aren't fighting...one's watching Awesome Crashes and the other is playing Mafia Wars. Such quaint pursuits...I should enjoy the quiet while I can...they'll be making all that noise again first thing in the morning.
Is it bedtime yet? ;-P
Friday, September 17, 2010
Just Chillin' With Jesus
I had the strangest dream the other night. Hubby and the kiddo have been laughing at me for it....I do have to admit, it's one of the stranger dreams I've ever been able to remember!
It was a beautiful, sunshiney day without a cloud in the sky and the sunshine had that rich feel to it that you only get on those truly beautiful summer afternoons. All the colors were sharp and vibrant....that grass was so green, for example, that you could almost taste the color. (No...I'm not sure what green tastes like...that's a whole other blog...) My Aunt Heather and I were walking across the lawn from my parent's home towards my Uncle Stanley's home and we were holding hands and enjoying the sun, laughing and talking. There was a huge MSN butterfly flying lazily around the air above us, maybe the size of a large kite, and I was pointing it out to her as we were heading over to a picnic. The picnic was in the far corner of my Uncle's property, near the road, and Jesus was there hanging out...just another person.
Yep...that's all of it. It wasn't a long dream and there wasn't a lot going on, but STRANGE! I'm usually the person who interprets dreams for many of my friends. I've generally got a pretty good handle on the symbolism that goes on in the dreaming mind and so on and blah blah blah. I have NO clue what this is about!!! ROFL!
I can't even begin to guess why the MSN butterfly was there?? I mean...srsly??? My Aunt was likely there because she'll be in this area soon and I'm looking forward to spending more time with her. The location makes sense because when I think about idyllic summer days it's there where I grew up. But that butterfly totally stumps me.....yeah, and Jesus being there!!!!! HUH?? I am not a practicing anything...a former lapsed Catholic on paper, though I don't consider myself a Catholic anymore. I don't really believe in any structured religion that I've found thus far and know more about what I don't believe than what I do. I haven't had any religious conversations recently before the dream so it's not something that's been on my mind. I can be a spiritual person, but am not a religious person in any sense of the word. So why Jesus was gracing my picnic I have no idea! There was no feeling in the dream that he was anybody other than just another person hanging out in the sunshine enjoying the food. Watching the MSN butterfly linger in the air overhead....
Didn't Joan Osborne sing about that?
And he didn't look ANYthing like John Denver, btw!
Is Bill Gates really a god? ;-) If he is, he's not very good at it.....Windows sucks.....my next computer will be an Apple...
It was a beautiful, sunshiney day without a cloud in the sky and the sunshine had that rich feel to it that you only get on those truly beautiful summer afternoons. All the colors were sharp and vibrant....that grass was so green, for example, that you could almost taste the color. (No...I'm not sure what green tastes like...that's a whole other blog...) My Aunt Heather and I were walking across the lawn from my parent's home towards my Uncle Stanley's home and we were holding hands and enjoying the sun, laughing and talking. There was a huge MSN butterfly flying lazily around the air above us, maybe the size of a large kite, and I was pointing it out to her as we were heading over to a picnic. The picnic was in the far corner of my Uncle's property, near the road, and Jesus was there hanging out...just another person.
Yep...that's all of it. It wasn't a long dream and there wasn't a lot going on, but STRANGE! I'm usually the person who interprets dreams for many of my friends. I've generally got a pretty good handle on the symbolism that goes on in the dreaming mind and so on and blah blah blah. I have NO clue what this is about!!! ROFL!
I can't even begin to guess why the MSN butterfly was there?? I mean...srsly??? My Aunt was likely there because she'll be in this area soon and I'm looking forward to spending more time with her. The location makes sense because when I think about idyllic summer days it's there where I grew up. But that butterfly totally stumps me.....yeah, and Jesus being there!!!!! HUH?? I am not a practicing anything...a former lapsed Catholic on paper, though I don't consider myself a Catholic anymore. I don't really believe in any structured religion that I've found thus far and know more about what I don't believe than what I do. I haven't had any religious conversations recently before the dream so it's not something that's been on my mind. I can be a spiritual person, but am not a religious person in any sense of the word. So why Jesus was gracing my picnic I have no idea! There was no feeling in the dream that he was anybody other than just another person hanging out in the sunshine enjoying the food. Watching the MSN butterfly linger in the air overhead....
Didn't Joan Osborne sing about that?
And he didn't look ANYthing like John Denver, btw!
Is Bill Gates really a god? ;-) If he is, he's not very good at it.....Windows sucks.....my next computer will be an Apple...
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Talk
So folks...to the parents out there....do you really think that by NOT talking to your child about something that somehow they will not be exposed to it? If you don't talk to them about puberty and sex that somehow their adrenal glands will just stop working?
I had the talk with my son a bit more than a year ago, the summer before he went into fourth grade. He was starting to hear different things, to pick up phrases and words he wanted to know the meanings of....between the school bus, the playground and the television they are simply going to hear all about this "reality" we'd like to hide from them. I went with a preemptive strike against the mis-information out there. He may very well have been the first kid in his class to hear the facts right from a parent, but at least he's got the FACTS and not the myths and guesses most kids are working with. Yeah...I squirm! I'd really like to just change the subject when a question comes up! But nobody said being a parent was going to be comfortable and easy so he'll get real answers to his questions. And honestly, it does get easier as you go along. It's US who have the hang ups....they don't have any yet....not until we give them some.
So do you really believe that they'll stay young and innocent if you just don't tell them about it? Hmmmm.....I wonder how that's going to work out.... I'm sure the rest of the world will respect your decision to stunt the child's growth and not expose them to anything.....unseemly.....
The Upcoming November Elections
The phone is ringing more than usual, lately. It's those stinking pre-recorded phone calls telling me who to vote for. It doesn't impress me that some politician hired somebody to record a quick blurb about what they stand for, hooked it up to an automatic dialer, and then annoyed me at dinnertime with it. It's enough to make me NOT vote for that person! When I answer the phone and the pre-recorded blurb starts spewing out of the handset at me I want to find the person and smack them around for a little while. What a handy way to take out the day's frustrations!
The robotic caller the other day didn't want to inform me about the candidate's beliefs or policies, didn't want to tell me what he was going to work for if he got elected. Oh, no...instead it condescended to tell me how I felt about it! The snippy pre-recorded message made sure to let me know that as a good, Christian American I needed to help get this candidate into office so that they could ensure that their pro-life blah blah blah opinions could be shoved down everybody's throats. ....okay....that's not how THEY phrased it....but you get the point. If they hadn't lost me at "good Christian" they drove me away with the pro-life part. (And they wonder why 'good Christians' get abused these days like they have some kind of disease?)
I was more impressed by the candidate who had a real human being calling. Granted, she called just as I was trying to put dinner together....those last stages of cooking when everything is suddenly ready at once. The part of the magic that is dinner when everything can go wrong fast and leave you with over cooked this, under cooked that and a hungry family wondering why you've done this to them....argh! I'm not a very nice person in those moments! I wouldn't normally answer the phone right then....but it was a local number that I didn't know. Curiosity got the better of me! The caller was polite, she was concise and when I said I had to go she didn't keep rambling on at me but urged me to vote and moved on.
I've got some more reading to do before I decide who to vote for. I sure as hell wouldn't be making my choices based on what somebody tells me on a random phone call! The politicians who've shown up at the house to say hello and talk are the most impressive, but if you really listen to their answers they somehow spin everything you say to their advantage. Their answers are just vague enough so as not to really commit one way or the other until they know what you want to hear. I wonder....is it that you have to be slimy to be a politician or does going into politics just corrupt people universally no matter how they started out?
Ah, well....less than two more months and it'll all be over! Then I can turn the ringer back on....I recommend texts and emails if you're trying to reach me until after the elections!!! PMSL!
The robotic caller the other day didn't want to inform me about the candidate's beliefs or policies, didn't want to tell me what he was going to work for if he got elected. Oh, no...instead it condescended to tell me how I felt about it! The snippy pre-recorded message made sure to let me know that as a good, Christian American I needed to help get this candidate into office so that they could ensure that their pro-life blah blah blah opinions could be shoved down everybody's throats. ....okay....that's not how THEY phrased it....but you get the point. If they hadn't lost me at "good Christian" they drove me away with the pro-life part. (And they wonder why 'good Christians' get abused these days like they have some kind of disease?)
I was more impressed by the candidate who had a real human being calling. Granted, she called just as I was trying to put dinner together....those last stages of cooking when everything is suddenly ready at once. The part of the magic that is dinner when everything can go wrong fast and leave you with over cooked this, under cooked that and a hungry family wondering why you've done this to them....argh! I'm not a very nice person in those moments! I wouldn't normally answer the phone right then....but it was a local number that I didn't know. Curiosity got the better of me! The caller was polite, she was concise and when I said I had to go she didn't keep rambling on at me but urged me to vote and moved on.
I've got some more reading to do before I decide who to vote for. I sure as hell wouldn't be making my choices based on what somebody tells me on a random phone call! The politicians who've shown up at the house to say hello and talk are the most impressive, but if you really listen to their answers they somehow spin everything you say to their advantage. Their answers are just vague enough so as not to really commit one way or the other until they know what you want to hear. I wonder....is it that you have to be slimy to be a politician or does going into politics just corrupt people universally no matter how they started out?
Ah, well....less than two more months and it'll all be over! Then I can turn the ringer back on....I recommend texts and emails if you're trying to reach me until after the elections!!! PMSL!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Express Lane
Most people...actually ALL the people that I have met in my live can at least count to 20. Let's face it...we have that many digits! Twenty is a hard number to miss! By Halloween in Kindergarten your average American kid has this figured out, if not long before that. So tell me...WHY can't adults, capable of driving themselves to the store, shopping, paying for their merchandise and getting themselves home...WHY can't these very same people count to 20? If I handed them 20 one dollar bills I'll bet they could count it. If I locked them in a room with 20 angry skunks I'll bet my bottom dollar they could count them!!! If I beat them upside the head 20 times with whatever random object is nearby I'm willing to bet they can count that, too, as they explain it all to the judge. But I think that the judge would be on my side when I explain to him that the person....this example of common man....was in the Express Lane, 20 Items of LESS folks, with something like 40 items. There are 26 cash lanes...four of them are Express Lanes...I realize that all 22 of the regular lanes are not open...only ten or so of them are open. See....I can count.
If you are paying with WIC you should not use the Express Lane unless it's the middle of the night and there is no other choice.
Thirty cans of cat food do NOT count as one item.
Separating the items in your cart into three different sales does not make it okay.
If you are paying with a personal check and it takes you more than 30 seconds to write your NAME you should not use the express lane.
If you are paying for your $50 order in coins you should not use the express lane.
If you don't have your complete order ready to check out and let the cashier ring you up only to say that you're waiting for your daughter/son/husband/wife/whomever to return with the one thing you missed....then you shouldn't be checking out at all you self absorbed jerk.
The cashiers cannot tell you no. They have to smile and take your crap, within reason. So rather than be a social idiot and annoy random strangers all around you next time how about you COUNT the items in your cart to make sure you have the right amount, make sure you have your payment ready, and move....after all, it's the EXPRESS lane!!!
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