1. I did not breast feed my son.
2. I did not co-sleep with my son.
3. I did not extended rear face my son's car seat.
4. I did not ever own a Moby wrap or anything similar.
5. I did allow my son to sleep in his swing until he outgrew it.
6. I put rice cereal into the baby bottle and widened the hole in the nipple.
7. I started my son on cows milk at only 10 months old.
8. I have never owned a dish washer and have never once boiled anything to disinfect it.
9. More than once I cleaned a fallen pacifier off with my own mouth then gave it back to the baby.
10. I used the television as a babysitter (THANK YOU Bear in the Big Blue House, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and The Wiggles!!)
11. I did not read to my son any more than absolutely necessary.
12. I almost never bought hand sanitizer.
13. I never use antibacterial soaps or detergents.
14. I let my son jump on the couch.
15. I did not leap to my son's defense when other kids picked on him.
16. I did make him apologize for picking on other kids.
17. I used bribery and babysitters to get him toilet trained.
18. I cut his hair myself until he was old enough to object.
19. I never had a birthday party where his entire class was invited.
20. I never made amazing party favors for the friends who were invited to the birthday parties.
21. I didn't plan activities for any gathering of his friends but just send them outside.
22. I did not hover by a window or on the deck while he played outside.
23. I started letting him take unsupervised baths at age four.
24. I did not let him wear clothes he picked out himself if they didn't match or were ugly.
25. I bought his clothes second hand as much as humanly possible.
26. I let him wear Abercrombie & Fitch even after they refused to make clothes in larger sizes.
27. When he cried I told him to go to bed because I didn't want to listen to it.
28. I didn't allow whining in my home.
29. I told him that boys were supposed to get dirty.
30. I told him that you never, ever hit a girl.
31. I told him that if you need to defend yourself or somebody else to fight and I'd stand behind him.
32. I took teacher's sides against him and if he got in trouble at school he was in trouble at home.
33. I forgot the sunscreen.
34. I swore in front of him and told him he couldn't say those same words until he was 18.
35. I let him taste wine, beer, and champagne on occasions where we were having some.
36. When he started riding the school bus I sat him down and told him all the 'bad' words so that he would know what they were and what not to repeat.
37. When we went to the park I sat on a bench and read a book and paid very little attention to what he was doing.
38. I didn't want to build a snowman.
39. When he swatted a cat and it swatted back I told him he deserved it. .
40. I didn't let him manhandle any pets or animals.
41. I didn't have regular chores or lists.
42. I did not curb my road rage-isms in front of him.
43. I was honest with him about the household income, the bills, and the times when we struggled with money and what that meant.
44. I let him fend for himself for meals if I don't feel like cooking.
45. He first learned how to use the stove at age eight.
46. I told him in 6th grade that there was no college fund and what scholarships are and what he needs to do to get one.
47. I bought him his first cell phone at eight years old in the 5th grade.
48. I got him his first smart phone at 13.
49. I don't snoop his texts, IMs, or browser history.
50. I got him his own debit card to use at 14 years old.
51. I took him to his first concert at 13 years old and didn't attend it with him.
52. I showed him how to make coffee and what a wonderful thing it is on groggy mornings.
53. I got him his first gaming system (X-box) when he started regular school.
54. I let him hang out in town with his friends after school and pick him up at dinner time.
55. I answer his questions honestly, no matter what they are.
56. I don't dictate to him a specific bedtime.
57. He started staying home alone in the house as young as age 10.
58. At 14 I would absolutely leave him home alone for days at a time.
59. We bought him his first gun at age 12 and taught him how to shoot it.
60. He wanted a pocket knife, we gave him a pocket knife.
61. When he thought zippos were cool we gave him one.
62. There are no parental controls on the cable and he has it set up in his room.
63. I let him be friends with whomever he wants, only reminding him that if one gets caught doing something the entire group will be charged so be aware.
64. When I need money for something and he has some I borrow it.
65. I don't clean his room for him.
66. I don't make him clean his room, other than dishes and dirty clothes.
67. I don't make him walk his dogs.
68. I let him play rated M video games.
69. I let him watch rated R movies.
70. I let him make his own mistakes.
Oh, there are more, I'm sure! Now-a-days I see the term "Free Range Parenting" and that's a pretty good description of my style of parenting, the opposite of a "Helicopter Parent" anyway. My goals with my son are to raise him to independent, self sufficient, confident, to possess common sense, to be level headed, and to be a productive member of society. So far, 14 years into the biggest experiment of my life, I have a young man who has found ways to make his own money, balances his own budget with his debit card, is in the honors programs in math, science, and art, has many good friends who I'm happy to have in our lives, has many other more casual friends, has had some nice girlfriends. He is adored by his dogs, is buddies with the little guy I babysit and pretty much any other small child he comes into contact with, and he can have a real conversation with any adult on a variety of interesting topics and not be out of his depth or feel intimidated. He is responsible, knows how to cook and clean, is respectful and honest, and doesn't sneak. He is extensively fluent in sarcasm and chaffes when he's treated as if he must be inherently stupid or rotten just because he's a teenager. He's not one who needs to act bullish to feel manly but doesn't take anybody's shit, either. He is healthy, has only seasonal allergies, and is a healthy weight. He pays attention to nutrition because I am diabetic and he knows that he could be genetically predisposed to it.
So all in all, so far, I think I'm doing okay despite all the many, many bad mommy things I've done and plan to continue doing. You know, like teaching him how to drive this summer at 14 though he can't get a permit until he's 16. Or leaving him to house and dog sit while hubby and I go away for a weekend this summer sometime.
I am very proud of my son. The young man that he is is as much his own character as mine and my husband's influences on him. It's both nature and nurture.
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So tell me, Gentle Reader, what things have you done or not done that in today's era of Mommy Wars puts you in the bad parent category?
Spill your secrets, my friends!!! Let's start the rebellion together!
