Happy Thanksgiving 2016! As I sit here, my house is quiet and peaceful. There is a blanket of snow outside and some gently falling from the sky in the way that movies try so hard to recreate. My husband is home from his midnight shift and asleep, visions of turkey dancing in his head. My son isn't up yet because, well, 9am.....teenager.....mutually exclusive things on a day off, usually. I'll be tuning in to the parade in New York City shortly and puttering around the house while watching it.
This is the first year in very many that I've worked outside the home, so my yard and my house are a cluttered mess of things that should have been put away, things that need dusting, and odds and ends that just haven't been done yet. I'm having a candle party Saturday night, so I'll be cleaning like a freak Saturday morning in preparation, though every person coming lives the same way lolol!
I was surfing Facebook earlier and I am still seeing a lot of posts and protests and angst about our recent Presidential election results. Yeah....when I got up that morning I was truly blown away that Donald Trump won that election. Granted, I voted for the Libertarian candidate in hopes that he'd swing 5% of the vote so in the next election cycle we would have a more viable third candidate, and also because both Trump and Hillary were terrible options. The overall behavior of many in our nation since that morning has been disgraceful. Eight years ago, when President Obama was elected, the people who were disappointed were told to "Deal with it" and "Get over it", that what's done is done. Now, those same groups are rioting. Those same groups are deriding and condemning the choice of, literally, more than half the voting adults in this country. And they want to know, "Why?" Why did this happen? How did he win?
I've seen a lot of opinions about that. Most of them incredibly insulting. They say things like, Trump won because racists voted for him. Trump won because people are sexist and want women pregnant and in the kitchen so they voted for him. People are xenophobic and so they voted for him. People are ignorant and uneducated and so they voted for him. People are stupid, so they voted for him. WOW. So you call half the country (actually, more): racist, sexist, xenophobic, stupid, uneducated, ignorant, etc, then you wonder WHY they aren't on board with your personal opinion and choices? Go figure.
I wonder if those people could possibly try something.....maybe try to see the world from a different point of view. Maybe if they tried to understand the reasons and issues that affect the world outside their own little bubble, if they didn't just mock what they don't agree with, maybe we wouldn't have illegal protests causing harm and creating chaos. Maybe we wouldn't have college level students who need "safe spaces" to come to grips with not getting their way. There ARE actual reasons why many, Many people voted for Donald Trump.
Here are some of the things that seem to be making the rounds. By the way, I am not going to state my own opinions about any of this so if you want to get your panties all in a bunch go for it, but don't bother lashing out at me because you don't like the idea that some people think differently than you do. But I've got friends on both sides of this thing, so I've heard a lot of discussion that maybe some folks haven't heard.
1) As human beings, we care about ALL other human beings and are willing to sacrifice things in our own lives to better the lives of others.
No. This is not how it works for a lot of people. For a lot of people, dealing with the mountains of shit going on in their own lives is more than enough to occupy their concerns. They don't have time to even contemplate how somebody in hurricane torn Haiti is feeling today. They are digging through their cupboards hoping to be able to put something together for their children that doesn't involve Kraft Dinner and cheap hot dogs. They are calculating exactly how much gasoline is in their car to get them to and from work this week, so they don't have to call in sick because they literally cannot afford to get to their job. They are signing their kids up for holiday gifts from charities because they'd really like their children to have something under the damned tree. The day to day struggle of surviving is literally all consuming and they need every nickel they've got just to make it until payday, so no, they really really do not care what somebody in another country, thousands of miles away, has on their plate, or even if they have a plate. They don't have room to help their own friends and family who are also struggling. The luxury of being able to help strangers is something they just do not understand. And maybe there's even some resentment that they can't afford to put a decent meal on the table for their children but their country is sending millions of dollars overseas to strangers.
When you assume that people in this situation are selfish or cold hearted because they don't care about these disasters in the world beyond their door, you are horribly wrong. You are looking at the world through your own lens and doing exactly what you are accusing those people of doing.
2) Health care is a Right.
No. The definition of what is a Right does seem to be flexible to many people. But just because you think everybody should have something, does not make it a right. A car is not a right. A home is not a right. A job is not a right. A good paycheck is not a right. And health care is not a right.
Instead of making everybody responsible for everybody else, make people responsible for themselves. And yes, if they fail to live up to that responsibility, it's not the fault of the world at large. That's the thinking. You've got the right to three things in this country: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. End of sentence.
3. Everybody cares about equality.
Yeah, in theory that may even be true. But when it comes right down to it, it's just more bullshit. Most people who don't suffer from inequality really never think about equality at all, unless it's all right up in their face. And giving them vague examples of something that might happen doesn't impress them. Show them a real example of something that DID happen, and you may get their attention. But otherwise, they just have no experience with any of it, so they don't understand. They can't. They know the world isn't fair, and they know that sometimes shit happens that they didn't deserve, and so they assume that this kind of things is what all the complaining is about. And from that limited experience, they don't understand why people don't just suck it up and get over it, go on about their lives. Don't be a criminal and you won't have to worry about the police. Don't act up in school and you won't have teachers that hate you. Be a good person and people will see that and just accept you no matter who you are. This is their own experience, this is what life has taught them, so why other people can't just figure that out is a mystery.
Now, if you introduce them to somebody who is a good person but got treated like a criminal because of their religion or color or sexual orientation, they may listen and they may begin to understand. But until these things are something other than a philosophical debate that never really includes them, they just aren't going to really see why folks act the way they do. And if you don't understand something, you really aren't going to care much about it. Especially, if you don't understand that there really is much of a problem. When you've rarely seen racism, xenophobic behavior, or blatant sexism happening, then you really may not understand how much of a problem it really is. And no, seeing it on TV doesn't really help. A new meme isn't going to solve anything. This is why there are pride parades and things like that, to help the people who still aren't seeing the problem to see the people who are living the problem; to try to make everybody understand that there really really IS a problem, that it's not just a bunch of crybabies who are used to participation trophies who didn't get their way for the first time.
4. One person's most valued cause is more important than another person's more valued cause.
Again, NO. If you had to pick just one cause, just one thing that you will throw all your support behind, what would it be? Marriage equality? Universal Health care? 2nd Amendment Rights? Abortion?
ASSuming that what you feel is the most important cause actually IS is arrogant and ignorant. If Person A feels that Marriage Equality is the most important cause to them, then they will vote Democrat. If Person B feels that their 2nd Amendment Rights are the most important thing to them, they will vote Republican. And when one group tries to devalue and ridicule the choices and feelings of another group because they don't agree with them, you get a mass uprising of middle America and you get Trump in the White House. Maybe if there were an open discussion.....maybe if people could live and let live.....just MAYBE if, instead of mocking and deriding the feelings and thoughts of MILLIONS of Americans, there had been some discussion.....some understanding......some recognition that just because you may disagree with somebody doesn't make them ignorant, stupid, or wrong, maybe then we wouldn't have had to choose between two candidates like we had.
5. I saw it on X news source who I trust, so it's true.
Folks, if you believe anything is the way the media portrays it then you're gonna have a bad time. Think of this last election cycle like Reality TV. It has about as much realism, as much factual information, as much reliable information as an episode of Duck Dynasty of the Kardashians. Just like Hillary's emails were not the dramatic problem they were made out to be, Trumps misogynistic behavior wasn't as dramatic as it was made out to be. Yes, there are grains....very very small grains of truth in most media sources, but that's about where it ends. It's all about the ratings and nothings gets good ratings more than pissing people off and making them afraid. So that's what's been done. They both suck. And, like any human beings, they both have skills and good qualities, too. Does this mean you have to like the results? Nope. But you do have to live with them for the next four years. Stop listening to the media and do your own research. At the very least, never assume that what you're seeing on tv is the whole story.
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Oh yes, the behavior or the very truly racist, sexist, and xenophobic people in the days following the election have been horrifying. And yes, I know I don't understand what it feels like to really be afraid right now, because I am a white American. I totally acknowledge that. And there is good reason to fear, at the moment, because those people are out there and right now they think they won something. They think they just elected one of their own, a new Hitler. They really haven't stopped to look at who Donald Trump was before all of this, at the things he's done in his life that haven't been highlighted by the media over the last year. And the things that all minorities always have to live with, the fears, are definitely highlighted at the moment. I do pray that this all passes. I do worry for my many friends who have legitimate fears right now, fears for their safety, fears for their marriages, fears for their equality, and I don't dismiss those fears. It's a realistic concern and I share it. I just think that we need to take a bit of a step back and have some hope. And we really really need to stop alienating one another. Lashing out in disappointment, or in fear, at the people who are happy with the election results doesn't stop the assholes from doing their things. It doesn't stop the hatred, the fear, or the lack of understanding. It only widens the gap and helps make sure that in four years we will see the same result at election time.
Maybe I'm just an optimist and that colors the way that I see things. But wouldn't you rather hold on to some hope and try for some understanding, than lash out and create more of a gap with anger and resentment? Because anger and resentment is why he won. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So if you want to see something different in four years, then I suggest you consider what needs to be different.
