What a terrible long week it's been. Last week, that is, not this week....so far. I turned 40 last week on Wednesday. I wasn't disturbed by the age, but for unrelated various reasons I had an absolutely awful terrible bad day that day. Thankfully my family had a get together and my mother cheered me up with the most awesome cake ever....Robert Redford cake ( http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/dessert/cake/robert-redford-cake.html ) and who can manage not to be cheerful between that and the ice cream? I got many awesome gifts from my brother and his girlfriend and my mother and father, and just getting out of the house helped my overall mood. So that ended up being a nice day....I just wept the first half of it.
The next night at nearly 11pm my cat of nearly 17 years turned up with a broken leg. After an hour of desperate calls it was determined that other than an emergency animal hospital across the border in Canada, there were zero options to get him any immediate help. I sequestered him in the bathroom and had to wait until morning to take him to his regular vet and hope for the best. I did know better, mind you, but there is always hope....that bitch.
In the morning, July 19th, he crossed the rainbow bridge at Java's Veterinary Center. The break was up in his shoulder and after he was gone the vet showed us just how extensive it was....which he told us the minute he looked at Lucky. Dr. Perez is an amazing vet. I got a sympathy card from them today. :( So it's been hard. I lost Lucky's twin brother a year and a half ago when he started to lose a lot of weight and behave differently, more clingy and strange. Now they're both gone. These were the first pets that I ever owned as an adult and they've lived with me nearly everywhere that I've ever lived since leaving home. Lucky was a quiet kitty and his lack of presence isn't as noticeable as when we lost his brother, Stinky, but the hole is there all the same.
I'm still reeling from my weight gain....I'm at 210lbs....that's a 35 pound weight gain in about three months. Thankfully it's garage sale season so I've been able to clothe myself! But things seem to have planed out and my blood glucose seems to be getting closer and closer to the mark, which is my primary focus at the moment. Not that I'm binge eating or anything, but my first goal right now is the have controlled blood glucose readings. Once I've mastered that I'll worry about the weight.
An online friend of nearly a dozen years died recently, as well. While her loss isn't something that will impact my regular life, I will miss seeing her online and just knowing that she's gone is a loss. She was just a good person, with a good heart.
Add in that the HEAT last week! OMFG the hideous horrible heat wave! It was that one week that we usually get each summer where the days are in the 80's or even the 90's, the humidity is right up there matching the temperatures so it feels about 10-15 degrees hotter than it already is, and at night it doesn't even drop below the 70's so nothing really cools off, until a few days in you'd like to crawl into a freezer and take a nap! The air conditioners can't even do more than make a vague attempt to draw some of the moisture out of the air, making it so that instead of actually puking you feel more like crying and being mean all the time. That broke over the weekend, thank you!!
I was supposed to hear whether or not I got a job I'd interviewed for by the 17th, but heard nothing. I'm guessing that things just got too piled up and the gentleman who was doing the interviews and hiring process probably didn't have time to do everything before his vacation. I've been in those shoes myself and it's hard....it's hard enough just getting things ready so they don't fall apart while you're gone! So I sent a follow up email today expressing that and hopefully I do hear back.....even more hopefully that I get the job, still, and that the reason I've heard nothing is that somebody else did and they didn't have time to contact all us rejects. ;)
So there were other things last week that contributed to the overall enjoyment of the misery....but that's most of it.
Meanwhile....This week is going much better. The weather is much nicer, I'm trying to catch up on my sleep, I've been able to pay off some bills and catch a few others up, and the house is tidy and clean. (Odd how that helps your mood, eh?) Also venting to various friends helps. I know I"m not alone and there are other people who aren't having the time of their lives, either. So onward and upward!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
My Lucky Kitty
In bed, gotta get some zzz's. gotta take my 16 year old cat to the vet in the morning got a possible broken paw. Hoping that its just a sprain and that he's not going to have to be put down.
All positive energies and prayers are appreciated.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Do You Love Me!?
You know, the funny thing is that the only people whose opinions matter in my life are my husband, my favorite aunt, a couple of friends, my son....the list is pretty damned small. Yet, peoples' opinions still have the power to make me angry or upset, even though in the end what they think doesn't make any real difference.
I met somebody the other day who I really wanted to like. I didn't have the chance to really get to know her, though, as we were only at one function together with a number of other people. She managed to say a handful of things that taken by themselves were certainly offensive, or at the very least, a sign of poor manners. I wrote it off to her youth. I have since found out that there were quite a few other things that I missed and that were said after I was gone that were equally unfortunate, if not more.
This is not somebody who is ever going to be any real part of my life as she lives very far away and leads a very different life from me, but our lives DO intersect in some significant ways and it would have been nice if she were less arrogant.
C'est la vie, I guess.
I was talking to an online friend earlier about how people's opinions affect us. She is in a situation where she could really use the support of her loved ones. Her loved ones, who do rally around her siblings and others when they need it, don't even acknowledge her, much less recognize that she needs them, to the point that she doesn't really believe that they love her. Fortunately, she has immediate family who is truly wonderful and loving, and many friends who love the hell out of her, so she's not alone in the world. It makes a difference, though, when the people who should love us don't behave as if they do. And no matter how much we school ourselves to not have any expectations, their indifference, or worse, can really deal a blow.
Even if you don't get a chance to talk to somebody every day, or every week, every month, or even more than a few times a year, do make sure that you express how you feel to them. You might never know how much your love means to somebody. People don't often display their pain when they're in it, so you just never know when somebody is really hurting and that one little boost, that one moment of positive opinion, can change their entire day, or more. So throw out a text, a FB message, an email, a snail mail letter, or a good old fashioned phone call, and let somebody random know that you care.
I met somebody the other day who I really wanted to like. I didn't have the chance to really get to know her, though, as we were only at one function together with a number of other people. She managed to say a handful of things that taken by themselves were certainly offensive, or at the very least, a sign of poor manners. I wrote it off to her youth. I have since found out that there were quite a few other things that I missed and that were said after I was gone that were equally unfortunate, if not more.
This is not somebody who is ever going to be any real part of my life as she lives very far away and leads a very different life from me, but our lives DO intersect in some significant ways and it would have been nice if she were less arrogant.
C'est la vie, I guess.
I was talking to an online friend earlier about how people's opinions affect us. She is in a situation where she could really use the support of her loved ones. Her loved ones, who do rally around her siblings and others when they need it, don't even acknowledge her, much less recognize that she needs them, to the point that she doesn't really believe that they love her. Fortunately, she has immediate family who is truly wonderful and loving, and many friends who love the hell out of her, so she's not alone in the world. It makes a difference, though, when the people who should love us don't behave as if they do. And no matter how much we school ourselves to not have any expectations, their indifference, or worse, can really deal a blow.
Even if you don't get a chance to talk to somebody every day, or every week, every month, or even more than a few times a year, do make sure that you express how you feel to them. You might never know how much your love means to somebody. People don't often display their pain when they're in it, so you just never know when somebody is really hurting and that one little boost, that one moment of positive opinion, can change their entire day, or more. So throw out a text, a FB message, an email, a snail mail letter, or a good old fashioned phone call, and let somebody random know that you care.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
A Mother's Promise
A promise to my son as he begins his teen years and approaches manhood.
Son, I promise you that I will do my best not to embarrass you (excessively) in front of your friends in person or online.
Son, I promise that, though this is my house and my rules, I will give you as much privacy as I can.
Son, I promise that if a girl breaks your heart I will be here for you to talk to, to vent to, and I will commiserate with you about how awful girls are, and mean it.
I promise you that no matter who your friends and girlfriends are, I will try very hard not to judge them by how they dress, the color of their hair, the names of their parents, what street they live on, or other things that really don't define who a person really is.
I promise that I if I see somebody bad mouthing you on Facebook I will not respond.
I promise that I will never confront a teacher for picking on you, singling you out, or not being fair to you, unless they have broken some kind of law.
I promise that I will let you fight your own battles, whether it be with friends, girlfriends, teachers, people's perceptions, etc., even though it kills me not to step in.
I promise that I will try not to treat you like you're a child, even though there is a place in my head where you always will be.
I promise that as I have raised you with wings, I will let you fly.
As I have taught you independence, I will let you have freedom.
As I have taught you right from wrong, I will give you the room to make mistakes.
As I love you, I will let you grow up.
Or I'll at least try.
Son, I promise you that I will do my best not to embarrass you (excessively) in front of your friends in person or online.
Son, I promise that, though this is my house and my rules, I will give you as much privacy as I can.
Son, I promise that if a girl breaks your heart I will be here for you to talk to, to vent to, and I will commiserate with you about how awful girls are, and mean it.
I promise you that no matter who your friends and girlfriends are, I will try very hard not to judge them by how they dress, the color of their hair, the names of their parents, what street they live on, or other things that really don't define who a person really is.
I promise that I if I see somebody bad mouthing you on Facebook I will not respond.
I promise that I will never confront a teacher for picking on you, singling you out, or not being fair to you, unless they have broken some kind of law.
I promise that I will let you fight your own battles, whether it be with friends, girlfriends, teachers, people's perceptions, etc., even though it kills me not to step in.
I promise that I will try not to treat you like you're a child, even though there is a place in my head where you always will be.
I promise that as I have raised you with wings, I will let you fly.
As I have taught you independence, I will let you have freedom.
As I have taught you right from wrong, I will give you the room to make mistakes.
As I love you, I will let you grow up.
Or I'll at least try.
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